Just engaged! Now what?

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Posted by JandM041803

Hi All,
I just got engaged this past Sunday at Gurney's. I am so excited but the realness of all this is starting to sink in. Everyone is asking a million questions and giving their opinions. I'm starting to slightly freak out!

We are thinking of a May 2009 wedding but we're nervous that's not enough time. What do you all think?

I am so lost. I don't even know where I'm supposed to start.

We are thinking of booking Gurney's but we're afraid we might book the venue but all other great vendors will be booked. Do you think we're being paranoid? Does anyone know anything about Gurney's? Any advice for great vendors that would do a Montauk wedding?

The family is also freaking out about a Montauk wedding...complaining it's too far for our guests to travel...we are from queens. Should we consider this? My FH says we should just do what we want and the most important people will be there. Any suggestions for boarding a bunch of out of town guests in Montauk in May?

I'm starting completely fresh here so any advice is greatly appreciated!

Thanks all!!!

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first of all - relax. I just got engaged in May and we're getting married in March '09 - so its pretty much the same time frame as you. All the planning can definitely be done in that time, so its basically about the funds.. if you think you can handle all of that (not sure if family is helping you out) then I think you do have enough time.
As far as location, if Montauk is your 'dream wedding' - then go for it. It is YOUR day. Any one who loves and cares about you and wants to be there for your big day, will be there. Just make sure to set up a couple of hotel options for them, in different price ranges.
I am finding that most vendors are NOT booked ,but mine is in March, not as hot a time as May - Would you consider moving the wedding to mid-late Sept? It would give you more time (if you really feel you need it) and it will still be beautiful out there at that time ?

Hi ladies,

I just got engaged in March also....and I am planning a November 2008 wedding. I would not worry about vendors being booked yet. For ex photographers have usually 5 teams so usually there is one avail.
I would do it sooner then later though since May is prime time. Good Luck to you!!

Congratulations!! My first piece of advice is to DO NOTHING!

Enjoy your engagement. Once the wedding planning begins, it doesn't end until the wedding day. There will be chaos, stress, and fighting galore. But it will also draw you and your FH closer and appreciate each other more!

Relax for a bit, even if it's for one week. Don't plan anything, just stare are your ring!!

I don't think a May 2009 wedding is out of the question if you're efficient. I got engaged on Nov 30 and am getting married on Oct 4. A 10 month engagement! It's possible. Good luck!

Just ENJOY your engagement, at least for a little while...Congratulations! It's so funny that you got engaged at Gurney's...i'm getting married there!!!!!

1st off...
May in montauk might be tough, and expensive! make sure you check when the summer season starts because it may make it hard for guests to afford the rooms. Try to plan it for the off season if you can!

Make good use of the people at Gurney's for vendor suggestions (if you book there) they are sooo helpful and will give you names of vendors in the area. But don't be afraid to look at vendors from your area as well. Most of them do not charge heavy fees for travel and it's always good to support your local businesses!

The montauk chamber of commerce website has all sorts of info like hotels, B&B's, restaurants etc...i used it a heck of a lot!

If you need more suggestions on ANYTHING, FM me! As a Montauk Bride I'll help all i can!

Me too! There are only a few of us here. Good luck you are soon! Any helpful hints?

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Posted by JandM041803

Hi All,
I just got engaged this past Sunday at Gurney's. I...
We are thinking of a May 2009 wedding but we're nervous that's not enough time....I don't even know where I'm supposed to start....afraid we might book the venue but all other great vendors will be booked....

The family is also freaking out about a Montauk wedding...complaining it's too far for our guests to travel...we are from queens. Should we consider this? My FH says we should just do what we want and the most important people will be there. Any suggestions for boarding a bunch of out of town guests in Montauk in May?

...

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Congratulations!
I've seen lovely weddings pulled together in a week, you have plenty of time.
Start with your budget and guest list. That will tell you if you can afford to have a wedding at Gurney's.
There are lots of fantastic vendors who are lesser known but do great work (and they're usually cheaper!)
FH is right, have the wedding you want. You're not forcing people at gunpoint to travel, you're inviting them. You might consider renting an entire house for a weekend and having the wedding there. It's early in the season, so there should be availability.

I agree with everyone else. You have plenty of time to plan the wedding for May. Begin with a list of possible vendors and call for pricing. You will definitely have negotiating power if they aren't booked. Also, when calling vendors, call one that you don't really plan on using first so that you can get that initial call out of the way. You'll realize you forgot to ask this or that and then when you start to call places you are interested in you'll be more confidant. Another suggestion we received, though haven't done yet, was to play hardball with a vendor that you're not interested it so you get more comfortable negotiating.

Best of luck! Everyone on here is very helpful!

First, congratulations to you!!!

Your first step: Breathe. Enjoy yourselves. Spend some time with FH before the wedding planning begins. Once you open that pandora's box it doesn't close until the wedding day.

You can certainly plan a wedding in 10 months. You have plenty of time. So, just relax and do what you and FH want. He is right... it's your day, do what YOU want.

Congrats!

My best piece of advice to you is enjoy your engagement for now before you start getting batty from planning lol. A lot of people plan a wedding in as little as even six months... my cousin was engaged in Feb 08 and married Aug 2, 2008. Now THAT was a short engagement haha. When you really have to start getting things booked and done, you will, it'll all fall into place. The first thing we did was set a few dates, go venue hunting, found one and made sure our date was open.

But honestly though when it comes time to planning everything my best advice to you is to do what YOU want and makes YOU happy. Those who want to be there, will make sure even if it's a billion miles away, that they are there. If someone doesn't come, too bad for them, they're missing so much more than you are. Don't let people persuade you into doing anything you don't want to do and ruin the experience for you. Do what makes you happy and never compromise your happiness because of people making you nuts and pulling you in every direction! This is YOUR day, you guys should be happy!

Take your time, you have so much to go... even though it goes quickly! Enjoy it all!!

Congrats! Take time to relax and enjoy the 'cloud nine' feeling I am sure you are experiencing.

My advice:
Don't let anyone tell you that the feeling will go away - i had someone tell me this right after I was engaged and it bummed me out. It DOES fade, yes, but as you get more into the planning, you get more feelings - and some of those are stress, anxiety, fear, anger, frustration, more stress ... but the best one of all is the feeling you have when you picture yourself up at that alter, saying 'I do' to the man you love more than anything. And that cloud nine feeling comes back times 10.



Enjoy this time and congratulations!!!!