just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

JTsGal829 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 01:23 AM

just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

So .. i have pretty much suffered from severe anxiety attacks since i was 16...started at 13 really but got worse by 16. FH has never really had a handle on it.. and i understand that.. it's really hard to understand it if you haven't been through it but he tries his best most of the time..to this day even my mom gets on my case about it cause she doesnt know how else to handle it! I dealt with a lot of people when i was a teenager telling me i was a physco etc.. so i have a low tolerance for people in my life treating me like it's no big deal..!! anyways...so me and FH get into an argument and i tell him please lets not fight now cause my anxiety level is really high right now ( it gets worse during that time of the month) .. so instead he continues to raise his voice..which at times raises my anixety for some reason.. it makes my cheast hurt every time he yells ... and i asked him to stop once.. he kept going.. asked him twice.. louder.. he kept going.. 1 more time i screamed it and he was like you know what you're too much with this.. i'm going upstairs. What?WHAT? i hate when he does that...when he's angry about something he can't see what i'm dealing with and he just gets mad... like it's my fault! I know in about 15 minutes he'll probably come apologize and talk to me like a rational person again..but it's not the point... i wish he could figure out a way to deal with it better....sometimes he is so sweet about it and others its like he just makes it worse!! arggggggggggggggggg!!! anyway.. just had to vent!! sorry ladies!!!

bemyyoko Posted: Jul 25, 2007 01:29 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

I have severe anxiety so i can totally relate to the whole situation.
My ex used to say that i used it as an excuse and never really took it seriously.

I'm sorry hun. &hearts

poisonivy918 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 01:37 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

oh god. I have that same problem. fh gets so annoyed about it. tonight for some reason (maybe cause it's my time of the month!) I feel that way. of course he has to start in with me. cause I didn't answer a text he sent an hour ago (i'm to busy on here looking at flowers lol) fh gets so bad about it. then apologizes. I hate how he makes me feel before he does that though! men just don't understand these things.

jgl Posted: Jul 25, 2007 01:42 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

aww that stinks but im sure he doesnt mean it. I can see how hard it could be for him though. He gets upset and wants to vent but then you are having anxiety and then he prob becomes frustrated.

just walk away and try to calm yourself down. Maybe you 2 can come up with a signal or something and make a plan to sit and discuss it when you are both in a better frame of mind so you arent both getting frustrated

JTsGal829 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 02:35 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

thanks ladies.. it's nice to have people who understand it!!! i mean my friends are the best and my family and FH are great...but people who don't have anxiety don't know how hard it can be!!!! FH is being sweet now and i'm ignoring him cause i'm looking at DJs ..lmaoo. sometimes i just think if he'd learn a little more about the disorder he'd realize it's not something that can always be controlled.. he says he gets more mad cause he hates to see me that way..and i know it must suck for him too but he's gotta realize how bad it ***** for me.. he has gotten much better with it over time.. but it's still hard once in awhile!! thnx again girls!

Soon2BDoubleL Posted: Jul 25, 2007 05:41 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

If your anxiety is that bad, have you looked into medication or therapy to help you control it?

I also have severe anxiety and it runs in my family, so I totally understand.

kBr Posted: Jul 25, 2007 08:05 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

i have anxiety too.. my ex always called me a psycho. but my now FH handles it soo much better thank god... i hope yours comes around and starts handling it better.. have you had a sit down talk with him about it all?

AmandaLynn04 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 08:12 AM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

I'm sorry that he acted like that! I have absolutely no idea what it must be like to suffer from anxiety. My 12 year old cousin has had anxiety for as long as I can remember, and, it is devastating. My heart breaks for her, and, there is absolutely nothing I, or anyone else can do to help her. She does take medication to regulate it..... but, I worry about her future so much, it makes me cry.

When I took her and her sister to try on their BM dresses, she was sitting there as I tried on my dress, shaking, and she was just nervous. It is a really scary thing, and definitely not something to be taken lightly.

I definitely think you should sit him down and talk to him about it. Not that you probably haven't.... but, I really didn't understand it for a while, and sometimes people DO think it's not a big deal, and it needs to be explained to them, perhaps over and over until they do understand.

JTsGal829 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 12:06 PM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

thanks soo much ladies. FH and me had a nice talk last night. He really just gets fed up with himself he said because he sees how scared i am and the way i feel and he can't do anything about it! But i just explained to him that yelling and storming out make it worse... and that he shouldn't be afraid to just not to anything about it sometimes..cause sometimes no matter what someone else says or does it just doesn't help. He really is pretty good about it most of the time, he just forgets sometimes that if i'm feeling that way he needs to just let it pass sometimes. and he really just needs a better understanding of what anxiety is. We agreed that he will maybe come to a therapy session with me to get a better understanding of it and i think that's great. I had asked a doctor i was seeing once if we could do that and she thought it would be a great idea! I was free of my attacks for almost 3 years (for the most part anyway) so when i started getting them again a year ago it hit myself and him very hard.. so now we are just working on making it not be the focus of things! Thanks again girls for being so understanding.. i was just so frustrated last night that i had to vent!!!

AmandaLynn04 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 12:08 PM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

I'm glad everything worked out. I definitely think that your FH attending a session will be wonderful, and it will help him understand a bit of what you are going through.

Maybe your therapist can even speak to him alone, and ask him how he feels about it, without you there, he might be more honest and say what is on his mind, and give him some advice on how to cope better in the future!

Fall Bride 2008 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 12:11 PM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

IM SORRY BABE I KNOW ANXIETY VERY WELL JUST KEEP CALM AND LOCK HIM OUT OF THE ROOM !

JTsGal829 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 12:11 PM

Re: just need to vent about FH!!!!!!! :-(

Posted by AmandaLynn04

I'm sorry that he acted like that! I have absolutely no idea what it must be like to suffer from anxiety. My 12 year old cousin has had anxiety for as long as I can remember, and, it is devastating. My heart breaks for her, and, there is absolutely nothing I, or anyone else can do to help her. She does take medication to regulate it..... but, I worry about her future so much, it makes me cry.

When I took her and her sister to try on their BM dresses, she was sitting there as I tried on my dress, shaking, and she was just nervous. It is a really scary thing, and definitely not something to be taken lightly.

I definitely think you should sit him down and talk to him about it. Not that you probably haven't.... but, I really didn't understand it for a while, and sometimes people DO think it's not a big deal, and it needs to be explained to them, perhaps over and over until they do understand.

I'm so sorry to hear about your cousin. she is so young and i know how she feels because mine started at a very young age!! medication does help, and with good behavioral therapy and all the leaps and bounds we have made with understand this problem.. my hope is that she will be living in a world that is much more tolerant, understanding and open to understanding these disorders. Honestly.. when i was 17 i went to a place called the ross center for anxiety in maryland.. i saw it on oprah and we called right away. It was out patient.. me and my mom stayed in a hotel and i spent a few hours a day with a wonderful doctor and she just rocked!!!! She made me understand my anxiety in a way i never had before and i was free from physical anxiety attacks for like 3.5 years.. they then started again, but i am still to this day able to control them much better..

If you ever need someone to talk to about stuff you can always talk to me!!!