My FH just found out his best friend will not be attending our wedding and he is so hurt and upset. Originally we thought it might be a problem but he told us that he would be able to make it. So we put him in the wedding party and on Friday out the blue he said he can't make because he thought it was on a Saturday and since it was on a Friday he couldn't come. What got FH so upset was that he was blaming FH because he said that FH said it was on a Saturday. That is completely BS we never discussed Saturday because of the price it was always going to be on a Friday or Sunday. The reason he cannot make it is because he is a college football coach and he can't miss practice, which is ridiculous because it is off season and he is not the head coach, but we don't think he even tried or asked. Our save the dates were out in May. Also, he got married this year and had a fit because my fh wasn't going to make the rehearsal dinner. (That we did not know about until after we booked our flights, and did I forget to mention although we knew about his wedding we didn't get invitations to it until two weeks before it and it was in ALABAMA!) That's another story. He is our sons godfather and my FH best friend. I would think he would understand how much this means to FH who never really had any type of real family except his friends. Also, it was such a big deal for his wedding to a girl he knew for less than a year by the time they got married. Supposedly he still isn't taking to one of his groomsman who didn't show up. FH said he is done because he feels he always goes out of his way and it never get reciprocated. FH also was upset because I have to rearrange the party but I said not to worry about it I just am so sorry that this happen almost 4 months to the wedding. It really stinks!
I am sorry twin! i can understand feeling like you (or fh) are always the one going out of the way for a friend and that if it wasnt for your efforts the friendship would dwindle... its frustrating.... i just couldnt imagine missing my bfs wedding so thats why its hard to understand this mans excuse...BUT...I guess theres nothing you can do about it. Fh is prob so upset and I feel for him but tell him not to let this ruin his/your special day....
jgourdain
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Thanks I know he said he definitely would not let ruin our day. It is his lost because it is going to be a beautiful and fun celebration!
Jennmolloy
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I am sorry you and FH are dealing with this. It always amazes me how selfish and inconsiderate people are. The friend is being very rude and IMO unforgivelable.
babycakes8278
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I am in the exact same situation with my MOH... I was completely distrought for the past 2 weeks, still kind of am. She blamed it on me that she couldnt be here but I picked an 'impossible date' and how obviously she means nothing to me or I would have made sure she was able to be there. But when I booked everything was so up in the air.
But you know what. The most important thing is you and your FH, its extremely upsetting, but you can't plan our life around all these people. If your wedding was a top priority for this friend. He would make it even if it seemed impossible.
Autumnbride03
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that is really upsetting. Would FH be willing to call or email him and calmly explain how his feelings were hurt (if he is willing to admit this, I know how guys can be lol) and have a discussion about this?
jgourdain
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I think he was going to do that but now he feels if he really wanted to be there he would be. He spoke to their mutual friend so I am sure he knows.
JennyAPH
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I am really sorry.. that stinks...I hate when people expect everyone to stop their lives for them but are not willing to do it in return.. Its his best friend and he should be there no matter what...Missing practice is not an excuse IMO..
You really find out who your real friends on at times like this.. my FH is experience something similiar, people who he thought were close friends didnt even say congrats to him and didnt show up to the engagement party and didnt call to say sorry they couldnt make it.. we just havent heard from them and they dont pick up his calls.. It really *****.
megsher
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I'm sorry. What I have learned is that we rarely even get to pick a date. Between matching up churches to reception locations, to dates when hotels aren't all booked, I can not keep other people's schedules in my mind.
NikkiR515
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How can people be so selfish?? When I got engaged all I got was 'well don't get married this month because I am busy' or 'I will be out of town this week so don't choose then!' Since when do our weddings become about accomodating everyone ELSE?? The way I see it. if people really cared they would make the effort to come. Point blank.
In your case...It is not like you are springing the wedding up on him last minute. He has had an ample amount of time (and still does!) to make other arrangements...Missing practice is just a lame excuse!
I am so sorry your FH has to go through that.. I know how much it hurts when your friends aren't there for you when it matters!
gina409
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Posted by Jennmolloy
I am sorry you and FH are dealing with this. It always amazes me how selfish and inconsiderate people are. The friend is being very rude and IMO unforgivelable.
i couldnt agree more..im so sorry u have to go through this
littlepixie12
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omg i am so sorry ... that is just horrible I dont understand how poeple can be so selfish
