just wanted to share: good advice!
I got this in an email & wanted to share. Seems like great advice to me:
Even a great relationship must be nurtured and built into a greatmarriage. Here are eight tips to give your marraige a head start!
1. Be aware that getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be verynerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process ofgetting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to thesurface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with allthe external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears thatarise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug.
2. Ask yourselves, and each other, A LOT of questions. Don't assume thatmarried life will be the same as single life. And don't be afraid to getto know each other's truest feelings. It is important that you delve intoeverything from how you'll raise your kids, to what kind of color schemeyou want in your home, to how you will spend free nights at home once thewedding is over. Brides and grooms tend to want to avoid the deep talks,and dwell on the surface aspects of getting married. Your married lifewill be a lot smoother if you communicate with and listen to one another.Be willing to hear things you may not like and agree with. Find ways tocompromise and learn to give in to one another when appropriate.
3. Picture Your Future. Begin to think about and visualize the life youwant to share. What will it look like? What will your new roles be like?What kind of home and family life do you want to have? Although it is funto day dream, it is very practical to give thought and vision to the lifeyou want to create. You might even want to create a treasure map (seebelow) or a book of choices (where you list the aspects of the life youchoose), to guide you.
4. Use visual language - it is powerful. Cut photos from magazines thatillustrate the essence of your ideal life together and paste them in aspecial journal book or on poster board. Superimposed photos of yourselfin a picture of that fabulous vacation spot, or cut out a happy familypicture that represents how you'd like it to be, with the number of kidsyou’d like to have. Visual cues give strong messages to the subconscious.Working together to find the images, and gluing them into place together,will begin to expand your picture of life together. Studies have shownimages can be like visual prayers.
5. Create your new home together. Find, it buy it or rent it, and begin toget it in order before the big day! If you already live together, do somemarital remodeling, updating or upgrading. Your home will be the safeharbor for you two and your marriage. What ever your budget, make yourhome beautiful, sacred and truly compatible with you both. Start mergingyour stuff as soon as you can so that you don't spend the first months ofmarriage arguing about furniture and belongings. Use Feng Shui, and themany advances in emotionally uplifting decorating, to help you merge intomarried life with less stress. It can guide you on everything from whereto place your bed to best place for your couch, TV and plants. It can alsohelp you place holy icons in just the right areas.
6. Create a Mission Statement For Your Marriage. You may not be able towrite your own vows for your wedding, but you can put some personalthoughts on paper. The first step of any new enterprise is to create amission statement. This applies to your marriage, as well. Brainstorm,discuss, process and bat around ideas until you come up with a MarriageMission Statement. This is your mutual intention for marriage; it is whatyou want to be and build together. It can have one sentence or reflect anumber of ideas. For example: Our union gives us strength, power and fortitude to deal with all oflife’s ups and downs, and it empowers us to contribute to others and theworld. We are best friends, confidantes and partners, and we have manyclose relationships with people we consider 'spiritual family.' We are acouple who inspire others with our love and who model what it is to be ina great relationship.
7. Do pre-wedding vows. You can put forth your commitment, before yourwedding day, in a very simple and loving way. It can be as simple asreading a poem to each other, to declaring your love in one or twoaffirming sentences. This excerpt from Song of Solomon is a beautifulexample of selecting words that are simple, yet powerfully honor andexpress your love. You can just look each other in the eyes, hold handsand say: 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.' Every time youexperience a ritual that declares your love, it’s like giving each other aspecial boost of love and will bring you even closer for your wedding day.
8. Establish rituals that will make you both feel loved and happilymarried. In his book, Soul Mates, Thomas Moore talks of those little liferituals that make the soul feel content. These are usually mundane yetsacred elements of living that keep the two of you connected, keep yourdreams alive and accentuate your togetherness. It's these things – a callfrom the office every day, a romantic dinner at home on Fridays, going toyour favorite restaurant or Inn once a year – that keep you both alignedwith the goals you set forth. When you establish loving rituals to lookforward to, they will never become boring. They become a part of who youare, together. They will be experiences you can share to reawaken your love at any stage of marriage.
Even a great relationship must be nurtured and built into a greatmarriage. Here are eight tips to give your marraige a head start!
1. Be aware that getting married can stir up a lot of emotions. The process itself sets forth period of growth and change that can be verynerve -wracking. Once you decide to marry you will begin the process ofgetting ready for marriage … and unresolved emotions may come to thesurface to be explored. Be prepared to do some inner work along with allthe external preparations. Honor and address the emotions and fears thatarise. Trust they are natural. Don't sweep things under the rug.
2. Ask yourselves, and each other, A LOT of questions. Don't assume thatmarried life will be the same as single life. And don't be afraid to getto know each other's truest feelings. It is important that you delve intoeverything from how you'll raise your kids, to what kind of color schemeyou want in your home, to how you will spend free nights at home once thewedding is over. Brides and grooms tend to want to avoid the deep talks,and dwell on the surface aspects of getting married. Your married lifewill be a lot smoother if you communicate with and listen to one another.Be willing to hear things you may not like and agree with. Find ways tocompromise and learn to give in to one another when appropriate.
3. Picture Your Future. Begin to think about and visualize the life youwant to share. What will it look like? What will your new roles be like?What kind of home and family life do you want to have? Although it is funto day dream, it is very practical to give thought and vision to the lifeyou want to create. You might even want to create a treasure map (seebelow) or a book of choices (where you list the aspects of the life youchoose), to guide you.
4. Use visual language - it is powerful. Cut photos from magazines thatillustrate the essence of your ideal life together and paste them in aspecial journal book or on poster board. Superimposed photos of yourselfin a picture of that fabulous vacation spot, or cut out a happy familypicture that represents how you'd like it to be, with the number of kidsyou’d like to have. Visual cues give strong messages to the subconscious.Working together to find the images, and gluing them into place together,will begin to expand your picture of life together. Studies have shownimages can be like visual prayers.
5. Create your new home together. Find, it buy it or rent it, and begin toget it in order before the big day! If you already live together, do somemarital remodeling, updating or upgrading. Your home will be the safeharbor for you two and your marriage. What ever your budget, make yourhome beautiful, sacred and truly compatible with you both. Start mergingyour stuff as soon as you can so that you don't spend the first months ofmarriage arguing about furniture and belongings. Use Feng Shui, and themany advances in emotionally uplifting decorating, to help you merge intomarried life with less stress. It can guide you on everything from whereto place your bed to best place for your couch, TV and plants. It can alsohelp you place holy icons in just the right areas.
6. Create a Mission Statement For Your Marriage. You may not be able towrite your own vows for your wedding, but you can put some personalthoughts on paper. The first step of any new enterprise is to create amission statement. This applies to your marriage, as well. Brainstorm,discuss, process and bat around ideas until you come up with a MarriageMission Statement. This is your mutual intention for marriage; it is whatyou want to be and build together. It can have one sentence or reflect anumber of ideas. For example: Our union gives us strength, power and fortitude to deal with all oflife’s ups and downs, and it empowers us to contribute to others and theworld. We are best friends, confidantes and partners, and we have manyclose relationships with people we consider 'spiritual family.' We are acouple who inspire others with our love and who model what it is to be ina great relationship.
7. Do pre-wedding vows. You can put forth your commitment, before yourwedding day, in a very simple and loving way. It can be as simple asreading a poem to each other, to declaring your love in one or twoaffirming sentences. This excerpt from Song of Solomon is a beautifulexample of selecting words that are simple, yet powerfully honor andexpress your love. You can just look each other in the eyes, hold handsand say: 'I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine.' Every time youexperience a ritual that declares your love, it’s like giving each other aspecial boost of love and will bring you even closer for your wedding day.
8. Establish rituals that will make you both feel loved and happilymarried. In his book, Soul Mates, Thomas Moore talks of those little liferituals that make the soul feel content. These are usually mundane yetsacred elements of living that keep the two of you connected, keep yourdreams alive and accentuate your togetherness. It's these things – a callfrom the office every day, a romantic dinner at home on Fridays, going toyour favorite restaurant or Inn once a year – that keep you both alignedwith the goals you set forth. When you establish loving rituals to lookforward to, they will never become boring. They become a part of who youare, together. They will be experiences you can share to reawaken your love at any stage of marriage.
