Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

JAAMS Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:16 PM

Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Since I've seen a couple of posts about this (or at least similiar issues), I was wondering what everyones' opinions are.

Are there people who you think SHOULD be included in the BP? Who? Why? Do you think there is etiquette or rules that governs this?

I'm not really sure what my opinion is yet on the topic lol, I was just wondering.

Jna2010 Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:17 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

i think youre fsil/fbil should be included in your bp (in addition to youre own siblings which i think is usually a given), obviously there are always extrenuating circumstances

GR2010 Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:19 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I think that siblings should be included unless there is some serious reason to exclude them... i would have liked to exclude my FBIL but short of kidnapping him and hiding the body there wasn't much I could do about it.

MikesBride2B Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:19 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I think that the siblings of those getting married should be in the BP...then again I didn't put FSIL in the BP but she lives in Munich and it'd be incredibly difficult to organize everything.

I just think its right to include these people...they are your family, after all.

iHeartMoogle Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:20 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I think family should be involved, but they don't have to be. JMO

Iluvpoodles Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:22 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Whoever your close with. I don't think you should have to include anyone you don't want to, including family or FH's family.

RitasEngaged Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:25 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I think at least Future in laws and your brothers and sisters at least than whoever else is up to you

kris_gets_hitched Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:25 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Aside from siblings, my rule of thumb was to choose only people who, ten years from now, would still definitely be present in our lives. I don't want to look back at photos and say to myself, 'wow, that friendship ended BADLY'

My sister and his brother are in our BP. We each have one friend in it as well, and that's it.

I don't know what that says about me, LOL!

MrsC2010 Posted: Jun 15, 2009 09:30 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by Iluvpoodles

Whoever your close with. I don't think you should have to include anyone you don't want to, including family or FH's family.

i feel the same way....i dont think you are required to have your fsil/fbil.

I had no intentions of including FSIL bc I already at 8 girls I wanted to include that I am much closer with. FMIL started giving FH and I problems bc I wasn't going to ask her (FSIL wasn't aware this was going on)....my family and FH agreed I shouldn't have her if I dont want bc it should be the people I am closest with and want around me on the day of the wedding...but FH's family felt that family HAD To be included.

I ended up asking FSIL just to avoid drama bc it was really stressing me out...but it still annoys me bc I feel like I was forced to ask her.

asg450 Posted: Jun 15, 2009 10:08 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by Iluvpoodles

Whoever your close with. I don't think you should have to include anyone you don't want to, including family or FH's family.

I also agree with this. My FSIL (whom I am close to) is not in my BP and she has never once shown any resentment about this. Her son is our ring bearer but she has never thought that she should be a BM. FH wanted my brother to be a groomsman but we decided we would prefer if he walked my mom down the aisle during the processional.

It can be difficult to include everyone into your BP, but there are other ways to include people in your wedding.

FallBride2010 Posted: Jun 15, 2009 10:25 PM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I honestly dont think you HAVE to put anyone. It's your wedding...and those closest to you should be in it. I will have the people I am closest to. Unfortunately, that doesnt include some people that most would think have to be included. Being in a wedding is a big commitment, so putting someone you arent close to, doesnt make sense to me -- even if they are related or will be related.

SoonToBMrsC Posted: Jun 16, 2009 12:34 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by Jna2010

i think youre fsil/fbil should be included in your bp (in addition to youre own siblings which i think is usually a given), obviously there are always extrenuating circumstances

ITA!!

Katlyco Posted: Jun 16, 2009 12:42 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by Jna2010

i think youre fsil/fbil should be included in your bp (in addition to youre own siblings which i think is usually a given), obviously there are always extrenuating circumstances

ITA! Perfectly put

mosh424 Posted: Jun 16, 2009 05:21 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by Jna2010

i think youre fsil/fbil should be included in your bp (in addition to youre own siblings which i think is usually a given), obviously there are always extrenuating circumstances

ITA

Clover23 Posted: Jun 16, 2009 06:28 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Posted by kris_gets_hitched

Aside from siblings, my rule of thumb was to choose only people who, ten years from now, would still definitely be present in our lives. I don't want to look back at photos and say to myself, 'wow, that friendship ended BADLY'

My sister and his brother are in our BP. We each have one friend in it as well, and that's it.

I don't know what that says about me, LOL!

That's EXACTLY how I feel also!

CloudNine Posted: Jun 16, 2009 07:39 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

i think as long as you and fh have good relationships with siblings that they should all be in the BP

SummerBride10 Posted: Jun 16, 2009 07:46 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

Brothers and sisters I think are definites, however its to each their own. There was no way I could not have my bro, sis, and FBIL in the BP.

stinenandy2010 Posted: Jun 16, 2009 08:14 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

My fbil and fsil are much older, like in their 40's, fbil is in the bp but not fsil....she said she is over the whole bp thing and we incorporated her children instead.

FutureMrsSoltan Posted: Jun 16, 2009 08:44 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

I think who ever you are close with. You want to make sure your BP is going to be there for you when you need them, not want to be the center of attention themselves. (sorry a little vent in there )

christine2010 Posted: Jun 16, 2009 09:05 AM

Re: Just wondering what all your thoughts were...

i think that everyone's situation is different. my FH is an only child so including FBIL/FSIL was not an issue for me. my sister is my MOH, my brother is walking my mom down the aisle & my SIL will be walking down the aisle with my two flower girls.

my 3 bridesmaids are my cousins.
& FH picked his 5 best friends to be groomsmen with 1 being the best man (still to be determined). he has been friends with all of these guys for at least 8 years, & one of these guys we went to grammar school with.