Just wondering...please dont take offense

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Posted by causeimb

I would think there would be; unless maybe they dated for a very short time and then got engaged before the couple could really get to know eachother.

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i agree.

Ill spill the beans-no problem.
I know that FH can get on my last nerve with some of his habits, and I know that we argue and it can get pretty load but once all is calmed down we are able to figure out the problem talk about it and fix it. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!

Have there been times I have thought about leaving-NO! Have there been times I wondered if I could deal with certain things the rest of my life-OF COURSE, but they arent big things, they are silly stupid things on a day when I dont want to deal.

ETA: I think it takes alot more than love to make a relationship-let alone a marriage to work. I know girls that all they want is to get married......and most likely push the buck tooo much. We waited until we felt we knew each other, and were past the initial lightning and fireworks stuff and it came down to reality and the real world

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Posted by kismet8601

Ill spill the beans-no problem.
I know that FH can get on my last nerve with some of his habits, and I know that we argue and it can get pretty load but once all is calmed down we are able to figure out the problem talk about it and fix it. THAT IS SO IMPORTANT!!!!

Have there been times I have thought about leaving-NO! Have there been times I wondered if I could deal with certain things the rest of my life-OF COURSE, but they arent big things, they are silly stupid things on a day when I dont want to deal.

ETA: I think it takes alot more than love to make a relationship-let alone a marriage to work. I know girls that all they want is to get married......and most likely push the buck tooo much. We waited until we felt we knew each other, and were past the initial lightning and fireworks stuff and it came down to reality and the real world

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Nicely put

I know, I read these things and feel so sorry for those girls. My BM is going through the same thing right now (well kind of). It's sad My FH and I have our 'moments', but we talk them out when we've cooled down and things always work out. When we begin not to, we'll deal with it. I am all about counseling! I WILL NOT drag him through a horrible relationship b/c I'm too scared to tell him that I'm not happy. That's a shame. I wish those girls all the happiness we ALL deserve. My thoughts and prayers are with them.

fh and i had a very rocky relationship in the begining and the fact that at the time we only had one child it didnt help...but we hold on to those bad things that happened and realized that we made a much more stronger connection than ever before when u have to fight for ur love.....there are always signs sometimes were just to blind to see them..then there are some people that are in love with the idea of marriage and having a family....and it takes a hell of lot more than that to make it work.....i wish all those girls joy and luck in their new chapters in their lives...

Well I will be honest here as well. MY FH has the patience of a pencil eraser and I have the patience of a saint. I was not always like that, but since I met him, I have learned to become that way. Sometimes when he gets mad at the smallest things, I just look and question how someone can be this way, But the difference is he realizes the way he acts and apologizes. Might not by that day, but he will eventually realize the way he acted and we talk about EVERYTHING.

I also 100% IMO believe that you should live with your FH before you marry them. I truly believe that you don't 100% know each other until you do. I know some will not agree, but this is how I feel.

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Posted by D's Girl

Well I will be honest here as well. MY FH has the patience of a pencil eraser and I have the patience of a saint. I was not always like that, but since I met him, I have learned to become that way. Sometimes when he gets mad at the smallest things, I just look and question how someone can be this way, But the difference is he realizes the way he acts and apologizes. Might not by that day, but he will eventually realize the way he acted and we talk about EVERYTHING.

I also 100% IMO believe that you should live with your FH before you marry them. I truly believe that you don't 100% know each other until you do. I know some will not agree, but this is how I feel.

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i totally agree with the whole living thing!!!!

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Posted by causeimb

I would think there would be; unless maybe they dated for a very short time and then got engaged before the couple could really get to know eachother.

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I agree...

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Posted by D's Girl

Well I will be honest here as well. MY FH has the patience of a pencil eraser and I have the patience of a saint. I was not always like that, but since I met him, I have learned to become that way. Sometimes when he gets mad at the smallest things, I just look and question how someone can be this way, But the difference is he realizes the way he acts and apologizes. Might not by that day, but he will eventually realize the way he acted and we talk about EVERYTHING.

I also 100% IMO believe that you should live with your FH before you marry them. I truly believe that you don't 100% know each other until you do. I know some will not agree, but this is how I feel.

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I agree living with FH before marriage is important.

I just broke up with my fiance 5 days ago. Bsically what happened in my case is we got engaged and things were going good. Then all of a sudden he became insanely jealous of everything from how I dress to who i talk to to my job EVERYTHING! Then he began to tell me how he will never trust me because you can never trust a woman, then he bacame borderline verbally abusive, calling me all types of names and such. I stuck through this behavior for a 1 and 5 months, then i had enough.
He exploded in front of my family and friends saying all types of horrible things and even threatened to beat the s*&t out of me, that was teh last straw.
Basically the long and the short of it, and this is my opinion. Is that his father who treats his mother similarly, and my EXFH always promised he would never do the same b.c he saw teh pain of his mother, told him that he has to keep his future wife in line and put her in her place. My exFH listened and lost me.
In some cases people change and thats what happened with mine he went from all is cool to not allowed to talk to any guy work or personal can only talk to girls who are married or engaged, he wanted control over my money. I can go on and on, and those were things he was never before we got engaged, and those behaviors started a couple months after the engagement.
Long and short of it, is sometimes people change unfortunately that happened to me and I feel better that I am free from what i saw to be an abusive future marriage.

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Posted by Future Mrs R

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Posted by D's Girl

Well I will be honest here as well. MY FH has the patience of a pencil eraser and I have the patience of a saint. I was not always like that, but since I met him, I have learned to become that way. Sometimes when he gets mad at the smallest things, I just look and question how someone can be this way, But the difference is he realizes the way he acts and apologizes. Might not by that day, but he will eventually realize the way he acted and we talk about EVERYTHING.

I also 100% IMO believe that you should live with your FH before you marry them. I truly believe that you don't 100% know each other until you do. I know some will not agree, but this is how I feel.

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I agree living with FH before marriage is important.

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I have heard that living together is important. In my case we do not mostly for financial/family reasonings. IMO people tend to rush into marriage. FH and I were dating a year and got engaged. We've waited 4 years because we realized neither of us were ready to marriage at that time(also given our ages). I feel that either being with someone for a while or living together really help you to know each other. I know for myself that we were not what we are now 4 years ago.

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Posted by lttlbunny

I just broke up with my fiance 5 days ago. Bsically what happened in my case is we got engaged and things were going good. Then all of a sudden he became insanely jealous of everything from how I dress to who i talk to to my job EVERYTHING! Then he began to tell me how he will never trust me because you can never trust a woman, then he bacame borderline verbally abusive, calling me all types of names and such. I stuck through this behavior for a 1 and 5 months, then i had enough.
He exploded in front of my family and friends saying all types of horrible things and even threatened to beat the s*&t out of me, that was teh last straw.
Basically the long and the short of it, and this is my opinion. Is that his father who treats his mother similarly, and my EXFH always promised he would never do the same b.c he saw teh pain of his mother, told him that he has to keep his future wife in line and put her in her place. My exFH listened and lost me.
In some cases people change and thats what happened with mine he went from all is cool to not allowed to talk to any guy work or personal can only talk to girls who are married or engaged, he wanted control over my money. I can go on and on, and those were things he was never before we got engaged, and those behaviors started a couple months after the engagement.
Long and short of it, is sometimes people change unfortunately that happened to me and I feel better that I am free from what i saw to be an abusive future marriage.

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Wow. So glad this happened now and not years from now...its good that you saw this now...tho its very sad..Im sorry

I also feel that living with your FI/FH before your marriage is VERY important

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Posted by billandme

I also feel that living with your FI/FH before your marriage is VERY important

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DITTO!