Kids!!!
NUDITY I was driving with my three young children one warm summer
> evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
> waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard
> my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing
> a seat belt!
>
>
> HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell
> me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
> threw
it
> in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
> to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and
> said with a charming little smile, 'We better throw this one out too
> then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>
>
> OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
> teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions
> expressed by this
child
> are not necessarily those of his parents.'
>
>
> KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar.
> During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
> daughter
to
> answer the phone. 'It's the minister, Mommy,' the child said to her
mother.
> Then she added, 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
> now. She's hitting the bottle.'
>
>
> MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
> the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
> shrieks,
with
> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
> in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter haven't you ever seen
> a
little
> boy before?'
>
>
> ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
> rounds.
The
> various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
> wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at
> a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
> inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The
tooth
> fairy will never believe this!'
>
>
> DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
> When
she
> saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't
> wear
that
> suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
> headache the next morning.'
>
>
> SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm
just
> wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't
> write
and
> they won't let me talk!'
>
>
> BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as
> he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of
> the
Bible.
> He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf
that
> had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found', the
> boy called out.' What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in
> the
young
> boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear
> evening when a Woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and
> waved. She was stark naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard
> my 5-year-old shout from the back seat, 'Mom! That lady isn't wearing
> a seat belt!
>
>
> HONESTY My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell
> me he'd dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and
> threw
it
> in the garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran
> to my bathroom and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and
> said with a charming little smile, 'We better throw this one out too
> then, 'cause it fell in the toilet a few days ago.
>
>
> OPINIONS On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his
> teacher a Note from his mother. The note read, 'The opinions
> expressed by this
child
> are not necessarily those of his parents.'
>
>
> KETCHUP A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the
jar.
> During her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old
> daughter
to
> answer the phone. 'It's the minister, Mommy,' the child said to her
mother.
> Then she added, 'Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right
> now. She's hitting the bottle.'
>
>
> MORE NUDITY A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in
> the women's locker room. When he was spotted, the room burst into
> shrieks,
with
> ladies grabbing towels and running for cover. The little boy watched
> in amazement and then asked, 'What's the matter haven't you ever seen
> a
little
> boy before?'
>
>
> ELDERLY While working for an organization that delivers lunches to
elderly
> shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
> rounds.
The
> various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and
> wheelchairs, unfailingly intrigued her. One day I found her staring at
> a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the
> inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, 'The
tooth
> fairy will never believe this!'
>
>
> DRESS-UP A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party.
> When
she
> saw her dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, 'Daddy, you shouldn't
> wear
that
> suit.' 'And why not, darling?' 'You know that it always gives you a
> headache the next morning.'
>
>
> SCHOOL A little girl had just finished her first week of school. 'I'm
just
> wasting my time,' she said to her mother. 'I can't read, I can't
> write
and
> they won't let me talk!'
>
>
> BIBLE A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as
> he fingered through the old pages. Suddenly, something fell out of
> the
Bible.
> He picked up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf
that
> had been pressed in between the pages. 'Mama, look what I found', the
> boy called out.' What have you got there, dear?' With astonishment in
> the
young
> boy's voice, he answered, 'I think it's Adam's underwear
