Kids at Wedding

nserig1 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:47 PM

Kids at Wedding

I sent my invites out and clearly wrote Mr & Mrs and if I was inviting the kids, I put the kids names on the invites.

I just got a response back today and one of my FH second cousins wrote Mr & Mrs and Haley will attend. Haley is 1 and I didn't want any children to attend. What do I do???

tinadansr Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:50 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Spread the word through his family that you weren't planning on inviting children. See if your FIL's can do some kind instruction (meaning NO KIDS) without making it a huge deal!

Good luck!

Irishny8 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:52 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

call her and explain that while you would love for haley to come, you are only inviting adults.

daniebc16 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:53 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

I would have FH's mother call and explain the situation to her, it is his side of the family, My fmil had to do the same thing, and now they are getting a babysitter.

luna bride x Posted: Jul 23, 2007 09:53 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

i don't understand why they wouldn't automatically assume you weren't inviting the baby.

it's so self explanatory. sorry you have to deal with this!

Cpt2007 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:03 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Are you inviting any children to the reception? If so, which ones and what was your criteria to say 'this one can come, but this one can't?' I think you need to have your answer down to that before you can tell them they have to get a sitter.

nserig1 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:05 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

The flower girl is the only child invited and she is the daughter of the groom.

Mich0621 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:07 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Tell her that although you would love Haley to attend, you decided that due to constraints, only children in the wedding party would be attending, because if you allowed Haley, you would be forced to allow everyone's children, and you just can't afford that!

Cpt2007 Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:08 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Posted by nserig1

The flower girl is the only child invited and she is the daughter of the groom.

I would, through the back channels of your FILs, let them know that the only children invited are the ones in the bridal party and that others are not invited. I would leave this task up to somone you trust to do this correctly, and not leave it to someone who will cave.

jtgarsik Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:44 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Call them and very nicely (asap!) & explain that there were no kids invited......and that you would let her come but you don't want others (whose children weren't invited) to be offended. They'll understand - don't stress!

jtgarsik Posted: Jul 23, 2007 10:47 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

ps: JMO - i wouldn't have anyone else call but urself! the bigger deal it's made out to be is the bigger deal it's going to seem. just call her - i had this with a few people and they SO appreciated that i spoke with them personally!

nserig1 Posted: Jul 24, 2007 12:24 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Thanks girls. Calling the mom today. I will let you know what happens.

Kara and Todd Posted: Jul 24, 2007 12:27 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Posted by Cpt2007

Are you inviting any children to the reception? If so, which ones and what was your criteria to say 'this one can come, but this one can't?' I think you need to have your answer down to that before you can tell them they have to get a sitter.

I don't. It's their wedding and they can invite whomever they want.

Sure, it's easier and people understand more if it's uniform - but she doesn't have to justify her invitations to them.

trza17 Posted: Jul 24, 2007 12:35 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

I agree you should call and just explain the invite was for the adults only. I think its really obnoxious when people just think its appropriate to bring a 1 year old to a wedding when invite clearly was for parents only.

Sue and Danny Posted: Jul 24, 2007 04:51 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Posted by Mich0621

Tell her that although you would love Haley to attend, you decided that due to constraints, only children in the wedding party would be attending, because if you allowed Haley, you would be forced to allow everyone's children, and you just can't afford that!

i agree

ChristineAaron08 Posted: Jul 24, 2007 05:05 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

UUGGHH- people are annoying! I don't understand why they wouldn't want to have some time to themselves without kids.

This is the reason I am not having a FG. My two BMs have little girls and I don't want to ask the to be FGs b/c then they will have to worry about their kids all day. I want them to be able to enjoy themselves. Neither of them ever gets to go ot without kids.

You should definitely have FHs mom call and se how it goes.. Good Luck!

jeanmarie Posted: Jul 24, 2007 05:12 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

I WOULD CALL AND EXPLAIN TO HER THAT THERE ARE NO KIDS AT THE WEDDING. I HAD THAT PROBLEM BUT I TOLD EVERYONE IT WAS JUST MY HUBBYS NEICE AND NEPHEW.

FuTuRe MrS MaZz Posted: Jul 24, 2007 05:33 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Posted by nserig1

I sent my invites out and clearly wrote Mr & Mrs and if I was inviting the kids, I put the kids names on the invites.

I just got a response back today and one of my FH second cousins wrote Mr & Mrs and Haley will attend. Haley is 1 and I didn't want any children to attend. What do I do???

Did you specify it was an adult only reception? Many people dont know the etiquette when it comes to adressed invites...

I would call up and say listen, I didnt want kids at the wedding. If you cant get a babysitter, then fine child could come.. otherwise no... Well, say it in a nicer way

nserig1 Posted: Jul 24, 2007 10:56 PM

Re: Kids at Wedding

Here is an update:

This 1 year old in question will be watched by a babysitter in the hotel room however, her cousin a 3 year old will be coming to the wedding. According to the 3 year olds mother, they already bought a dress for the 3 year old. This was not my choice to have children at the event other than the flower girl however, I have lost the battle here.

I blame myself. I guess when you have a daytime wedding you have to deal with these circumstances. I have been extremely disappointed with all outcomes surrounding this event. I have been crying and upset about everything all night and by voicing my opinion all I get is that I am being a 'bridezilla'

Ladies, In all honestly, the whole wedding process for me has been heartbreaking. I love my FH very much but this wedding has turned, in my eyes, into a circus. First, my sister-in-law, who was in my wedding party, becomes pregnant and due the day of my wedding. Plus family drama (whos family is fighting with who and who can't sit with whom) and now this. I am sorry to say, I am thankfully waiting for it all to be over. I love the advice and comments from these message boards but outside of them, people look at me like I am a b*tch. I am not happy at what this wedding process has done to me.

deirdre730 Posted: Jul 25, 2007 10:14 AM

Re: Kids at Wedding

The same thing happened to me.....I had a fit. It was my aunt no less, and then I got flack from my mother (here sister) and it was a HUGE to do! In the end her two kids came, and it was fine. I did not even notice or care that they were there. It all worked out in the end.