Posted by HoopsnYoyo
I dont know....When i first got engaged, my neighbor got super excited and kinda assumed that she was going to be a bridesmaid, which I was ok with, because Im close with her. But i havent spoken to her since June, when i got engaged. my FH wants me to have four BMs since he's having four GMs (dont ask, he wants it to be equal). So I dont know if i should include her anymore. Or ask someone else? I dont have many girlfriends so, it's hard for me.... I dont know what to do!
I saw this on BHB and thought of you and your situation. IMO if its a big deal to have it even - keep it as so. You shouldn't feel pressured to ask anyone - if you havent spoken to her since June, that's kind of a long time. If she assumed she would be a BM I would think she would be in touch more often.
But anyway - read this, maybe it will help!
Almost everyone in there lifetime will be a part of a wedding. They might just be an audience, or be chosen as a bridesmaid, or groom. From any view point, we all may agree that choosing a person to play an important role in the wedding is no easy task. Choosing a bridesmaid requires a process in which can't be done in just one day. It comes with thought, and careful thinking.
If you rush this process, you can be stuck with irresponsible,
unenthusiastic people who are not cut out to play there role. Unless you're loaded with money, and choose just anybody, we suggest to consider your budget, and remember the most important females in your life. Well what if you have a handful of females that are the closest to you, and the most loyal? How do you ditch and pick your bridesmaids? This is where we come in!
1. Quit Assuming! With these hard times, you might have a friend going through a financial crisis. She might have lost her job, or going through a divorce. Or you might have another friend who likes to keep things simple and is not much of an avid shopper. So it's not a farfetched idea to assume that you think they will decline at your offer. Although your intentions might be good, your friend might be on the opposition and feel like you wrote them off because of there situation. So it's always best to keep assumptions out of the way, and ask them if you previously planned to. Assuming can just lead to you writing off the people that really wanted to be there for you.
2. Blood is thicker then water- You and your sister might have a rocky relationship, or you might have been the fortune one and have a great relationship with your sister. Either way, to avoid any unnecessary conflict and hurt feelings, it's worth it to ask. This might even help your relationship for the better. This might show her that although she can be a pain, she holds a special place in your heart, and maybe just maybe she can start to act her age.
3. More people? More Money!- So as I mentioned above, unless you're loaded with cash, it's usually unlikely that you will have a full court of bridesmaids. But even having more then 5 can be hectic. This is where it usually gets hard for Brides to choose there bridesmaid when there on a limited budget. So although you want all of your good friends to be next to you on your big day, think about the expenses you'll need to cover on top of whatever expenses you have for your wedding. In addition, having more people means that you would have to find a bridesmaid dress that everyone would agree on, and work around schedules for everyone to be at the same place, and the same time. Having said this, you can always do something special for the non-bridesmaids.
4. Who said you can only have one Maid of Honor? If there are 2 people you feel closest to, then by all means ask them both! Theres not a law that says you can only have on Maid of Honor. Just be sure you ask them what you specifically expect of each ot them.
5. Don't ask, if it's for the sake of reciprocity! This isn't Christmas! Because someone got you a gift, you feel that it's necessary that you return the favor by getting them a gift. Just because they made you a bridesmaid in there wedding, doesn't mean you have to choose them to be in yours! As blunt as that may sound, we are certain that some women will encounter these same problems. Don't feel pressured to ask them only to return the favor. Remind yourself that the circumstance may not be the same, especially if your budgets are not equal. In addition, it might have been quantity versus quality. So ask the ones you genuinely want to, not because you feel that you need to return the favor.
