We just started to TTC officially this month. My older sister of 4 years has been trying to get pregnant for 3 years and has had surgeries, etc, and right after the wedding she gave me a lecture about waiting to have a baby. DH and I have been together for 4 years and have been living together for 2 years. Dh and I have discussed having a baby soon after we were married. I am almost 33 and do not want to wait incase there are problems. She claims she was giving me sisterly advice, but I think she feel she is the one to have baby first becuase she is older. What and how do I handle this without hurting her feelings, and how and when do I tell her when I am pregnant if she did not conceive yet? Any advice would be appreciated. I am sensitive to her situation, but in her eyes she has to be the first to do everyhting, and it is not a competition, She is a doctor, and she wanted the career first, etc. Help!
denakimou
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of a problem with my sister.... Need advice
This is definently a tough one. I don't have any sisters, but the best advice I can give you is to be happy. What I mean is when you get pregnant and it's time to tell her,let her know how happy and excited you are. Hopefully, she won't rain on your parade. Your joy and happiness will hopefully not let her show her possible disappointment. Remeber, there comes a point when it's about your needs and wants. Not hers. I hope everything works out well.
WeddingsRock
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of a problem with my sister.... Need advice
I will speak from the point of view of some one who is like your sister. I have a younger sister who has two children, each of them unplanned. I, on the other hand, have been trying to get pregnant for over 2.5 years. We have done treatments, sugeries, etc. and still no luck. It is EXTREMELY painful and it almost rips your insides out when you are trying SO hard for something that comes SO easily for others. MY BF has also become preggo after her honeymoon and all I ever hear is 'So what are you going to do next' 'Wouldn't it be great to have kids around the same time.' My response is 'YOU have no idea' Be sensitive to your sister's struggle because to be honest, you don't know if that could be you.
flyin'bride
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of a problem with my sister.... Need advice
I think it is nice that you are concerned about your sister's feelings. But, I don't think you should put your plans for a family on hold because she and her husband have been having a difficult time conceiving. She is your sister and should love you/be happy for you even if you conceive before her. You are 32 years old and have been in a long-term relationship with your DH, all that should matter is knowing that you and DH are ready to start your own family.
You obviously love your sister and will continue to be supportive of her and be sensitive to her situation. You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to have babies!
Best of luck to you, I'm sending baby dust your way!
Bebalina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of a problem with my sister.... Need advice
Posted by flyin'bride
I think it is nice that you are concerned about your sister's feelings. But, I don't think you should put your plans for a family on hold because she and her husband have been having a difficult time conceiving. She is your sister and should love you/be happy for you even if you conceive before her. You are 32 years old and have been in a long-term relationship with your DH, all that should matter is knowing that you and DH are ready to start your own family.
You obviously love your sister and will continue to be supportive of her and be sensitive to her situation. You have no reason to feel guilty for wanting to have babies!
Best of luck to you, I'm sending baby dust your way!
I agree...also on that note...I'm sure it'll be difficult to tell your sister in the beginning, but she'll be excited for you later I'm sure...and be a wonderful Aunt! And so will you..when it finally happens to her!
dm24angel
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of a problem with my sister.... Need advice
I understand too! I am SOOOOO tired of everyone who has chidlren already telling me to think about it, wait a while etc....when is it going to be OK for me to try? They don;t know what will happen, and it drives me nuts everytime someone says how hard it will be...like I dont know that already?
