My sister is my MOH, and I love her dearly. She is my best friend and I like to think she supports me and is happy for me. But I am not so sure she is happy for me. She really hasn't been there for me throughout the wedding planning. She never asks me about how things are going. She hasn't once asked to come see the RH and I have gone about 5 times since I booked. I feel like she is just wrapped up in her own world and couldn't be bothered with me. I went dress shopping on Saturday with my mom and I was at her house before we went. I asked her if she wants to come, and she said no, she's not feeling up to it. She recently has been going through some issues, so I am trying to be understanding. I thought that coming dress shopping with me would make her feel better and happy, take her mind off things, but she didn't come and I didn't push it. I know that she is having problems and she has a 3 year old son to chase around, but I really wish she would be there for me more. I mean, she's my sister and MOH...is it too much to ask??? Am I being a Bridezilla????
lilpiggy742
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
im sorry your feeling this way. I understand that she has her own life and a kid, but i know it would be ncie to have her come along too. It's just that little extra support that you'd like and you're not getting. Maybe talk to her and say something liek 'i wanted to stop by reception hall/dress store/favor shop ect and id really appreciate if you'd come with me'
MrsDtoBe09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
If this is the sister that just lost the baby, I think you need to be patient. While it s ucks that's she's not there for all of your wedding related stuff, she must be in a really sad emotional place now. Maybe it makes her feel guilty doing things that would make her feel happy. Maybe she feels like she should just be sad for now. Try your best to be patient with her... there's still time before the wedding for her to get involved.
Im a Pepper
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
aww I'm so sorry to hear this! I don't have a sister but if I did and if I were in this situation I'd be sad too! Maybe you guys can discuss it when you're at home together and she has a minute. She might not even realize that you're upset and feeling this way! I hope things improve!
Cacarina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
If this is the sister that just lost the baby, I think you need to be patient. While it s ucks that's she's not there for all of your wedding related stuff, she must be in a really sad emotional place now. Maybe it makes her feel guilty doing things that would make her feel happy. Maybe she feels like she should just be sad for now. Try your best to be patient with her... there's still time before the wedding for her to get involved.
Yes, she is the one who lost the baby, which is why I was totally understanding about her not coming on Saturday. This is why I haven't said anything to her about how I am feeling. I have no idea what she is going through, and I won't even try to put myself in her place. I just thought it would make her feel better to come out, but I guess we all grieve differently.
egem523
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
JMO I understand where you coming from. But I do recall last week you mentioned your sister was having some difficulties. Maybe she going through a depression and cannot speak to anyone . Maybe she does not want to take away all the hapiness you feeling while planning your wedding. If you sister normally does not act like this. I would not take it personal and give her sometime.
vicky1125
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
you're not asking for too much but some people find it hard to be happy for others when they're having issues in their life. tryin talking to her or maybe to your mom. maybe she told your mom what's going on with her & your wedding.
BarbieGrl10
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
Posted by Cacarina
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
If this is the sister that just lost the baby, I think you need to be patient. While it s ucks that's she's not there for all of your wedding related stuff, she must be in a really sad emotional place now. Maybe it makes her feel guilty doing things that would make her feel happy. Maybe she feels like she should just be sad for now. Try your best to be patient with her... there's still time before the wedding for her to get involved.
Yes, she is the one who lost the baby, which is why I was totally understanding about her not coming on Saturday. This is why I haven't said anything to her about how I am feeling. I have no idea what she is going through, and I won't even try to put myself in her place. I just thought it would make her feel better to come out, but I guess we all grieve differently.
I don't think you are asking too much but she really just went through a heartbreaking ordeal. Why don't you plan a girls night... dinner or something. Im sure you will be able to talk about things then.... maybe she need a shoulder to cry on and she doesn't want to bother you because your planning the best day of your life. Know what I mean?
MrsDtoBe09
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
Posted by BarbieGrl10
Posted by Cacarina
Posted by MrsDtoBe09
If this is the sister that just lost the baby, I think you need to be patient. While it s ucks that's she's not there for all of your wedding related stuff, she must be in a really sad emotional place now. Maybe it makes her feel guilty doing things that would make her feel happy. Maybe she feels like she should just be sad for now. Try your best to be patient with her... there's still time before the wedding for her to get involved.
Yes, she is the one who lost the baby, which is why I was totally understanding about her not coming on Saturday. This is why I haven't said anything to her about how I am feeling. I have no idea what she is going through, and I won't even try to put myself in her place. I just thought it would make her feel better to come out, but I guess we all grieve differently.
I don't think you are asking too much but she really just went through a heartbreaking ordeal. Why don't you plan a girls night... dinner or something. Im sure you will be able to talk about things then.... maybe she need a shoulder to cry on and she doesn't want to bother you because your planning the best day of your life. Know what I mean?
Maybe it would be nice to do this kind of girls night... it might be nice for you to take a break from wedding stuff and her to take a break from stressful life stuff. Hope everything gets better!
Cacarina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
Thanks for putting it all in perspective girls. Sometimes I can lose the big picture. My wedding day is just one day, and it's so far away. My sister's pain is still really raw and I should probably stop thinking of myself, and be there for HER! I think a girls night is definitely a great idea!! Thanks!!!!!
flairforfashion
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
I could understand why you are a little upset but being that you mentioned this is the one who lost a baby, I would think that she is going through a really tough time. I suggest being patient with her and I think she should come around. Good luck girly.
I Love Paolo
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
You are not alone, I have the same issue. I asked my sister to come dress shopping w/me and she said no and I had a bridal showcase at my RH and I told her weeks in advance and she didnt come.
I am very upset about this, but FH makes me feel better. He said not to expect anything from anyone and its our wedding day and its just us. But I still cant help but feel this way. I too question whether or not I am being a bridezilla, but you only get married once and you want you sister to be with every step of the way.
There are not quick fixes and I have to prepare for an argument if I bring it up (because my sister ONLY gets on the defensive) and I dont have the energy to argue..
Aristotelina
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
I think its great that you are able to see the other side of the coin by reading these few replies. Definitely do not take it personal that shes not really active in the planning and try to be understanding.
lanamanitta
Posted:
Member since
Re: Kind of sad...MOH issue...(Kind of Long)
What she's gone through can really really destroy a person for a while. It's one of the hardest things a woman can go through. And if she weren't going through that, it would be one thing, but I think you need to be patient with her. We all get wrapped up in our wedding plans, but in all honesty, she doesn't have to come with you to the RH or the bridal shop . . . . you can handle all that on your own, with your Mom, your FH, or other BM's. Even ordering a dress, if she's not up to it yet, there is plenty of time for her to come around, and it can't be rushed.
I'm so sorry you're bummed out about her not being enthusiastic, but I can totally understand why she's not . . . she's happy for you, I'm sure she is, but being happy and being up to doing all the wedding-related tasks are two different things when you've got something going on like that.
Give her time, and as the other girls said, let her know that you realize that the wedding is secondary right now to her pain. By the time you walk down that aisle, she'll be really into it, but maybe not right now.
