So, not that I'm saying this is going to happen at all, GOD FORBID, but given what is currently going on with FFIL, it's something that's been weighing on me.
What would you do if someone in your immediate family passed in the months, or days leading up to the wedding? Would you cancel (and lose everything), or continue on?
My father told me that his wishes, GOD FORBID if anything should happen to him before the wedding, would be for me to continue, because the wedding is the start of me and FH's new life together, and that regardless of what happens, we need to create our new life together. As hard as that would be, I would respect his wishes and do that.
But, GOD FORBID anything should happen in FH's family right now...I think we will have to cancel. Not that that is the sole reason I wouldn't want anything to happen, of course, but I would be lying if I didn't say I am starting to get really nervous and I'm flipping out.
julesrbf
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
You are right, this is very morbid, but of course I understand where you are coming from.
However, I think that you will find that everyone will have a unique answer. Every person, and every couple, is unique, and processes things in different ways.
Personally, I would continue on. It would be horribly difficult and very emotional, but I think I would. And I think whoever would, God forbid, be passing, would want that.
Does that make sense?
I was thinking about you this morning ... keep us updated on your FFIL ...
Summertimegal424
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
i think this question would be different for everyone. everyone has there own grieving process.
and i do agree this is a morbid question.
IrishBrideASmiling
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
I think about this all the time...
My grandma is not doing so well and has not been for a few years now, and I am so afraid that right before the wedding she might pass
Also, my grandpa has cancer and I just heard that he wasnt doing so well, and god forbid something happens, he is all the way in AZ with half my family and the other half is on the east coast.
I know neither of them are going to make it to the wedding and that is upsetting enough, but to answer your question, I dont know what I would do honestly.
NikkiR515
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
As everyone knows my step father (who was my stepfather since I was 8 years old and I lived with him and my mom my whole life - so we were definitely close) recently passed away and my wedding day will be exactly 4 months after the day he died. It is going to be SO hard to carry on without him but we are not cancelling the wedding. It breaks my heart that I cannot dance with him like I had always planned but I know how much he loved my FH and he was so happy that we were getting married and I feel like in a way I would be letting him down if I didn't go through with it. He is going to be honored as much as I can get away with without making it too excessive and I know he will be there in spirit and in my heart.
I don't think this is really morbid to think like this because when he was sick my mom and I had discussed this topic in great length. If something were to happen to him like days before the wedding that might have been a different story but in our case we are definitely carrying on with the wedding.
I will continue to keep you guys and your FFIL in my prayers...Keep us updated!!!
littlepixie12
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
God this is morbid.. and I hope that your FFIL is doing better... honestly the mourning process is different for everyone.. personally if it was one of my paretns (GOD FORBID, KNOCK ON WOOD) i would def cancel ... i wouldnt even feel like a party
Juhgail
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
I dont think this is morbid, I think this is real life :)
First im so sorry for all the things going on. I hope your FFIL does better.
To share, I am an actor. My grandfather died on the day I had a show. He was a BELOVED grandfather who wanted nothing more than for me to be to be happy. I have a vivid memory of that day, and more importantly the show tha night.
The director came up to me and asked me if I wanted my understudy to go on. I touched the stage and said no. My grandfather would want me to do my job, and do what I love.
So, the moral is it was right for ME to go on. I think If something happened leading up to my wedding we would go on. I hope we would. I know my family (and his) want us to be happy and start our life. *MY* decision would most likely be to NOT cancel.
Thats what would be right for me.
Have a frank talk with your FH. You have NOONE to answer to but yourselves. Its worth a conversation since you might want to buy wedding insurance in case you think you would cancel.
Hopefully my experience will help you on your decision.
Firkx3
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
My cousin got married last august and his bride's mom passed exactly 2 weeks before their wedding. It was really hard for them, but they had their wedding and enjoyed their special day. There were definitely some moments that were very emotional, but everyone know that her mom would have wanted to her to have her wedding and have a great time, just as they dreamed about their whole lives.
Ray8183
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
Everyone is different, but I understand where you are coming from. My mom is 69 and my FMIL is 79, they both had that talk and told us to continue on. So until the time comes, we will see.
for your FFIL.
doreen82
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
Hi Ali,
I hope everything is okay with your FFIL.
I dont know what I would do? I think if GOD FORBID it happened, I think that they would want me to go ahaed with it. But again....this is up you you as a couple. What is FH thinking?
Gosh-this is morbid.
coldasice217
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
I'm not trying to be morbid, I know it's not the most pleasant of topics, but it is life, and I'm just kind of thinking out loud. I'm certainly not going to say anything to FH about this. I know this would be, god forbid, a personal decision that only we would make. I know if it was my family what the answer would be, but we operate completely different from FH's.
There is currently 3 options being weighed right now. One is to do the surgery through the leg if accessible, and the other is to perform brain surgery. The last option is a weeks observation and constant scanning, if this last scan does not show a definitive clot. So we'll see what happens. I'm just really scared for FH and his family, because if anything were to happen, that's it. Everything would collapse there.
MrsGRod09
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
I would probably go on or possibly post pone it. Something like this happened to me my cousin was getting married and my dad passed a week before the wedding. Since it was close family i had to go, it was very sad watching the bride and her father dance because i wish that would be me one day and i didn't dance at all just for a slow dance. It was very sad.
doreen82
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
Well for now all there is to do is pray and hope that eveyrthing is going to be okay.
Keep us posted
Ray8183
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
Posted by coldasice217
I'm not trying to be morbid, I know it's not the most pleasant of topics, but it is life, and I'm just kind of thinking out loud. I'm certainly not going to say anything to FH about this. I know this would be, god forbid, a personal decision that only we would make. I know if it was my family what the answer would be, but we operate completely different from FH's.
There is currently 3 options being weighed right now. One is to do the surgery through the leg if accessible, and the other is to perform brain surgery. The last option is a weeks observation and constant scanning, if this last scan does not show a definitive clot. So we'll see what happens. I'm just really scared for FH and his family, because if anything were to happen, that's it. Everything would collapse there.
EsquireBride
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
This happened to a friend - the grandma was hospitalized a few days before the wedding and it didn't look good. They went ahead with the wedding anyway. She died a short while after the wedding. I don't think their families even considered not going forward with the wedding.
PoppedInASnap
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
my father told me the same as did my mother. I think that they would want you to continue...
9509Bride
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
My aunt who was the life of my family passed away March 25th from a Massive Stroke. I am still kind of in shock and cant imagine her not being there. We had an ongoing joke that she was my ' Chief Executive Day Of Coordinator' she was just the type of person to snap people in shape and to make sure not even a hair was out of place...I will miss her.
This scenario got me to thinking what would have happend if it had happened sooner and the truth is I dont know.
In lieu of wedding favors we donated to the American Stroke Associaion in her memory.
KittyGags
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
After losing my father at the end of 07, I know that mentally I wouldn't be able to do it right after. When I came back to work, I sat here and cried for 2 straight weeks.
I was a COMPLETE and utter disaster. Its not that I'd cancel but postpone for sure...I just know that I wouldn't have been in the frame of mind to even smile in a picture...
gina409
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Re: Kinda morbid question...but what would you do?
sorry..after cancer with my dad,two heart attacks n a stroke with my mom,an autistic neice.and my own heart condition....i rewally dont want to answer..its been a rough few years
