Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:45 AM

Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

Hi.

Happily Ever after's reply got me thinking.

Are you afraid of initiating intimacy with your FH/DH? Do you see it solely as the man's job?

I will admit early in my relationship with DH (about 9 years ago) I would always wait for him to initiate. I always thought that the woman did not do that. I had a somewhat warped perception of sexual roles in a relationship. It was not until dH, well he was my boyfriend at the time had to tell me it is ok to take the lead at times.

Now I am totally confident and see nothing wrong with it.

I have heard a few women say they still feel this way and they hardly ever initiate.

Thoughts????

Stacey1403 Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:50 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I have no problem with jumping his bones

NYCHICK Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:52 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

WAT.. ....when I am ready to go I take charge.........no time to be dainty

violet Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:53 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

If I want it, I will go get it. Though most of the time, he is the one going for it but that is because his sex drive is like a 15-year old's.

wacky Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I have no problem grabbing a gropping. Although lately Ive been slacking. Im too tired

FeliciaDA Posted: Mar 09, 2004 10:57 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

Its really funny, because I can be a really shy person in a lot of other aspects of my life..

but when it comes to 'initiating,' I have NO problem taking the lead .. never have with FH, or come to think of it, never have with anyone before him either..

90% of the time we mututally initiate, if that makes any sense.. (thankfully we're pretty in sync with that sort of thing )

nrvbrd Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:15 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I guess I WAS in the minority.

Sage10.03 Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:16 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I have NO problem being the initiator....and DH loves when I do....I guess it makes him feel 'desired'!!

starhead Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:27 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

No problems here. I think it's about 50/50 with us on who initiates.

anna Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:32 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

Posted by Stacey1403

I have no problem with jumping his bones

My words exactly, and he loves it

and I love when he takes the lead

A little of each is just a perfect mix

HappyEverAfter Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I cannot believe my GF still has this attitude, and refuses to 'take the lead'. She thinks that this is the 'mans role'. It baffles me. I cannot imagine sitting and waiting for a piece

I feel bad for her though, I guess she has brought it up and feels dumb making a move now. She has low self esteem I guess. But I dont get how you can have that w. your hubby. I think she just has very traditional feelings. I dont know how to help her. I told her to go rent some dirty movies and get busy

KathleenG Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:34 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I have been known to 'take the lead' on more than a few occasions.

xjulietx Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:40 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I have taken the lead many times! FH loves it!

Crisco718 Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:52 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I love to take the lead. I must say that early in our relationship, this made him uncomfortable, but now he loves it!! He always tries to play hard to get, but he quickly joins in the fun. The bottom line is if I want it, why should I have to wait for him to initiate.

violet Posted: Mar 09, 2004 11:53 AM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

The perfect seduction is to be waiting at home with dinner made in a hot piece of lingerie. Though that's a rarity.

smilealways Posted: Mar 09, 2004 12:25 PM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I take the lead much more frequently than he does - my drive is usually in overdrive when it comes to him!

The Original 2nd-time-around Posted: Mar 09, 2004 12:33 PM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

Posted by violet

If I want it, I will go get it. Though most of the time, he is the one going for it but that is because his sex drive is like a 15-year old's.

same here

Wendy Posted: Mar 09, 2004 12:57 PM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I am the one who initiates almost 100% of the time. If I left it up to my husband there would be nothing at all (not that there is anything anyway... ).

I have always been more aggressive in that respect and willing to take the lead. I am not in the least bit shy in letting him know what I want.

shamma Posted: Mar 09, 2004 01:48 PM

Re: Ladies do you take the 'lead'? Let's have a mature discussion about this.

I get in my moments when I just take the lead, but most of the time its his doing. I don't mind either way, he has expressed that he likes when I take the lead You know they like to feel wanted too