Last name

Are any of you keeping your last name officially on documentation? And yes of course, informally being Mrs. fh's or dh's last name?

This is something I am doing, fh is very very angry about it, but I will not budge on this. In everything with us, I try to always say yes and keep the peace but in my heart I know I cannot accept this adjustment, I have a great deal of pride in my last name and my father has no sons, but my only reason that holds with fh for keeping mine, is that in my business I can't waste 2 hrs of accumulated time each day spelling that alphabet soup out for people.

I havent changed mine yet (yeah 4 months later). I am not crazy about his last name b/c it rhymes w/ my first name and sounds silly.

I will hyphenate legally, but will still use my last name for all except bank and mortgage, etc. He isnt happy about it, but settled on the partial change.

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

I havent changed mine yet (yeah 4 months later). I am not crazy about his last name b/c it rhymes w/ my first name and sounds silly.

I will hyphenate legally, but will still use my last name for all except bank and mortgage, etc. He isnt happy about it, but settled on the partial change.

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Oo thank goodness you responded, I was sitting here thinking I am a bad woman

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Posted by florezpeeps

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Posted by ChristineAaron08

I havent changed mine yet (yeah 4 months later). I am not crazy about his last name b/c it rhymes w/ my first name and sounds silly.

I will hyphenate legally, but will still use my last name for all except bank and mortgage, etc. He isnt happy about it, but settled on the partial change.

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Oo thank goodness you responded, I was sitting here thinking I am a bad woman

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I think its a guy thing w/ the last name. I can sorta see their point, but I dont think my DH would want to walk around with a name like Aaron Barron or something weirder lol

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Posted by florezpeeps

Are any of you keeping your last name officially on documentation? And yes of course, informally being Mrs. fh's or dh's last name?

This is something I am doing, fh is very very angry about it, but I will not budge on this. In everything with us, I try to always say yes and keep the peace but in my heart I know I cannot accept this adjustment, I have a great deal of pride in my last name and my father has no sons, but my only reason that holds with fh for keeping mine, is that in my business I can't waste 2 hrs of accumulated time each day spelling that alphabet soup out for people.

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lol ive spoken to you about this and yes although i can say and spell his name properly i can see how its difficult for others lol, freaking romanian last names. For same reason i was happy to change my last name to dh's bc of the fact that I will FINALLY have a last name that people can pronounce right away, and wont butcher it or seeing them looking at it trying to figure it out

its so nice now to go somewhere and just say it once and people know how to spell it or dont ask me to repeat it so for the reasons i loved changing my last name, i can understand your reasons for having a hard time to change it. Plus the whole fact that your dad only had daughters. Well i should also feel bad bc of that since i am the only child, and my dads bro only had daughters too lol

This is my second marriage
The first one I hyphenated -- my ex didn't think it was a big deal. The way he saw it, he wouldn't want to change his last name either.

However, it was a PITA. My name was 'my last name- his last name'. I left my SS card and license in my last name only (in my case I knew in my heart that it wouldn't work out in the long run).
Things were constantly misfiled under his last name only. They could never find my medical records because they were always looking for his last name only. If I was written a check in his last name, the bank gave me a hard time. Or things were written out 'His last name - my last name'. I spent a lot of time correcting people. It was so damn annoying that I will be taking my new husbands last name only.

My father also has no sons but I didn't hyphenate the kids last name. Besides, what if my daughter got married and wanted to hyphenate? It would be 'My last name - her dad's last name - the husbands last name' Sheesh

Do what feels most comfortable for you but know that people will be confused and it will be a hassle at times

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Posted by siffleuse319

I'm keeping mine as well. I will consider changing if we have children. But for now, I've worked hard to earn degrees, promotions, and pride under my birth name. I don't want to give that up. I joke with DH all the time that my hand in marriage is enough!!! He could care less though. As long as I'm a loving, faithful wife, DH doesn't mind that I'm keeping my name. My strength of character is one of the things he loves about me. And forget about a father not having any sons....I soooo wouldn't change my name then. I'd even try to have my children take My name or maybe a combo of the two of ours. Times they are a changin....and it's o.k. It doesn't change the foundation of marriage, which is love and perseverance....not titles or other external qualities!!!

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I have also earned multiple degrees and I love my birth name too.
No one can ever take that away from you -- you could change your entire name and you would still have those accomplishments.

ETA: Although I have to admit that when I finish my second master's next year it will be strange not to see my maiden name on the degree...

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Posted by FutureMrsCarrieri

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Posted by siffleuse319

I'm keeping mine as well. I will consider changing if we have children. But for now, I've worked hard to earn degrees, promotions, and pride under my birth name. I don't want to give that up. I joke with DH all the time that my hand in marriage is enough!!! He could care less though. As long as I'm a loving, faithful wife, DH doesn't mind that I'm keeping my name. My strength of character is one of the things he loves about me. And forget about a father not having any sons....I soooo wouldn't change my name then. I'd even try to have my children take My name or maybe a combo of the two of ours. Times they are a changin....and it's o.k. It doesn't change the foundation of marriage, which is love and perseverance....not titles or other external qualities!!!

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I have also earned multiple degrees and I love my birth name too.
No one can ever take that away from you -- you could change your entire name and you would still have those accomplishments.

ETA: Although I have to admit that when I finish my second master's next year it will be strange not to see my maiden name on the degree...

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FYI - you can change your last name on all your degrees once you are married - its very popular!!

i hated my last name - i was more than happy to change it

My maiden name was so easy and people still spelled it wrong! Now I get frustrated because its two separate words and the first letter of my last name is lower case, if it's spelled properly, which never happens unless I literally say LOWER case 'd'
I totally understand where you are coming from because my dad only has two girls, but I gave in and it makes DH extremely happy. I think its nice that you want to keep it!

I just thought of something

there's was a boy in my class with two middle names -- that seems to be popular nowadays

I wonder if you can change your name where you can make your maiden name one of your middle names?

I would totally do this

First your not a bad person for wanting to keep your last name. It's hard to give up one's last name. I'm in my 30's and I know that it's going to be an adjustment. It's such a part of who I am at this point.

I decided to take FH's last name....it was very important to him and I have an older brother that has carried on my father's name. I do plan on keeping my last name (maiden name) on all my degrees. I will hyphenate at work and on my resume. I'm professionally already known with my last name...so hyphenating will be OK for me. for the most part I'll be known as Mrs. Km

Either way I will have to continue spelling out my names.....my last name I always have to spell though it's a common spanish last name because I don't use an 's' but rather a 'z' in the middle. I always have to spell out my first name becuase it's Kathryn...not Katherine. FH last name is a polish last name sooo I'll def. be speilling it out.....I just won't get away from spelling out my names...ever...

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Posted by florezpeeps

Are any of you keeping your last name officially on documentation? And yes of course, informally being Mrs. fh's or dh's last name?

This is something I am doing, fh is very very angry about it, but I will not budge on this. In everything with us, I try to always say yes and keep the peace but in my heart I know I cannot accept this adjustment, I have a great deal of pride in my last name and my father has no sons, but my only reason that holds with fh for keeping mine, is that in my business I can't waste 2 hrs of accumulated time each day spelling that alphabet soup out for people.

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I'm doing this! not changing a thing. I put his last name on the ML though in case i ever change my mind in the future, but only after reading that doing that doesn't require you to change it legally everywhere else.

i'm the same - I've had my name so long and my dad has 4 girls and no boys... I'm lucky though that DH doesn't really care what i do.

I am not changing my name. FH was hurt at first, but he got over it. I don't have an opinion way way or another. I think it is up to each individual, depending on what they are comfortable with. My only concern is for those women who really don't want to change their names but do it to spare their FH's feelings. I think that that is the wrong reason and it is a decision that you may regret someday.

Don't feel bad about your decision and if it is really important to you, stick to your guns. Your FH will learn to live with it and he may even come to understand. I know that my FH talked to his brother about it and his brother told him that he would be thrilled if his daughter decided to keep her name someday. FYI, FH's brother is a macho Philadelphia fire fighter.....