Post New Topic

Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Original post by kris_gets_hitched

A little background as to what this is about can be found here.

FH called his parents in the late morning to see if they'd be available to meet with us about the guest list. They said yes. He said we'd be there around 7:30-8:00.

Tell me...why did FH's brother call him at 4:30 in the afternoon and say to him 'hey, mom wants to know if you're really coming by tonight, because she wants to go shopping at Macy's.'

Really?

So in a nutshell - because this can be very, very long...this is what happened last night.

FH and I get there at about ten after eight. His mom asks if we want dinner, we say no, we're not hungry. We break out the lists. She again tells us we should eat. We tell her maybe after we've made some good progress with the lists.

She then claims she doesn't know the date that we're getting married.

She came up with a list of people, some of which were also on FH's list. She thinks it's too many and wants to know if 'we can leave the older people in a side room'. The max in our room is 230. The lists combined came up to about 250. Perfect number, because there were some people that we knew FOR SURE wouldn't make it.

She then says she wants to do the second reception. I tell her if that's what she wants to do, then she needs to book a place for Fri., 6/25, Sat. 6/26 or Sun. 6/27 as my parents will still be in town and we want them there. She says that she doesn't know if she can find a place by then.

She kept telling FH to take this one aunt off the list (for the wedding he and I are planning), then said to put her on, then take her off.

At this point, I couldn't take it anymore. I said to her 'You are really testing my patience. We've waited since the summer for this list.' I turned to FH and said 'Do you want these people (meaning the aunt and her family that kept getting put on and off the list at our wedding?' He said yes. I said that I do too, and that's all that matters, and that we will be inviting them.

She then started screaming at me 'this is your wedding, you do what you want!' I said 'you're right, it is our wedding, and we've give you months for this list. At this point we will invite only those that we want there.' I stood up and put my shoes on and said to FH 'let's go; she's being vile and it's bad for us to be around this environment right now'

She then switched from English to Bengali and tld FH that he will never be happy, that he is a failure, that she does not support us, and that she lied about her trip to Bangladesh...it was not to get me bridal stuff, but rather she was able to tag along on FFIL's business trip and if she happened to see things, she'd get them but her intention was not to go there with that as her main goal. She also said she will not be at the wedding and would tell people not to attend it.

I wish I understood Bengali, because I would've told her where to stick it. We left right after this and FH filled me in when we were in the car.

As we were leaving, she tried to talk to me and I said to her 'don't bother. This has been a real delight' and left.

Okay so that really wasn't a nutshell...thanks for reading if you got this far. I swear, you can't make this stuff up.

FH and I are going along as planned, inviting who we want to invite. If they choose not to attend because of his mother, then shame on them.

Thing is, no one ever says no to this woman. As soon as I open my mouth and tell her she's testing my patience and take full control of the situation, she flips. Because NO ONE has ever done that to her before. Take, for example, his bother making that phone call to FH. He didn't want to do that. He thought it was crazy. But instead of saying no, he did it. I don't roll like that. There's not enough time in my life for bullsh!t.

ETA: She also said that she didn't know that a minimum of 165 and max of 230 meant that you could have any headcount between the two figures. Can someone be that fcuking stupid?
CappyGirl Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

I'm sorry you have to deal with that kind of nonsense but I am absolutely tickled that you stood up to her. Good for YOU!!!!

Future Mrs H Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Kris- I am so sorry you are going through this. But I give you so much credit to stick up for yourself.
I say just invite who you want, the people who matter will be there.
Alyssa79 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

little j Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

glad to hear you and neel walked out together. you guys are a team and starting a life together - and that is what counts!
blessed18 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

im so sorry you are going through this. just know that the people that will come are the people that truly care for you guys and are rooting for you...the rest dont matter.

Rosalind_75 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

what is wrong with this woman?!?!?

i really am proud of you for standing up to her!!!
it scuks that fh has delt with this all his life.

AdriandSteve Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

JAAMS Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Golden Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

shelbylove918 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

so sorry you have to deal with a crazy FMIL.. she should be happy for you guys regardless and just try and compromise with you.. It seems like shes doin everything she can to ruin your wedding.. thats soo sad.. Im glad you put yur foot down cause you dont deserve to be treated like that!!! :(
mrsdraskin2009 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.



I am soooo sorry things went badly, but kudos to you for sticking to your guns!!!! It is YOUR wedding and not hers and stick with your plan!!



Hope that makes you smile!!!
StaceyWill Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Oh man!!! She sounds like a real piece of work. Good for you for standing up to her!!

kris_gets_hitched Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

It did, Heather!

Now I'm craving a Snickers Kudos.

Perhaps just a Snickers...
Lsorrent Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

JayBee216 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Yikes - why are people like this? Your reaction was perfect, and she will come around - there's no way she'll miss the wedding!

jcreilly Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

I am so sorry.

barbtony Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.


Posted by Future Mrs H

Kris- I am so sorry you are going through this. But I give you so much credit to stick up for yourself.
I say just invite who you want, the people who matter will be there.



ita
flibbertigibbet Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

sorry Kris. people are a pain in the ***.

if you gave them months and months then you've given them all you need.

hopefully ttheyll get their sh*t together now but ... hang in there. otherwise, you guys just do your thing and theyll have no one to blame but themselves if they aren't happy with your list.
rdubs Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.

Oh jeez...I wish you were having an easier time. Its good to know that you have FH on your side...in the end, the two of you are the only ones who matter. You need to figure out the guest list that is best for you too, not your crazy FMIL.

And I'm sorry to hear about her real intentions on the Bangladesh trip....
Chelechel1 Posted:

Re: Last night's meeting with the FILs went terribly.


Hopefully she will woman up and realize who's wedding this is! I hate it when people talk about you in other languages! UGH! That in itself would piss me off!!!!

Reply to this topic

Log in to reply or quote a post.