LET ME ENTERTAIN YOU....
^ thats totally ME!
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(724):
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
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(315):
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
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Today, I was walking my child to school alongside other parents. I went to reach for my son's hand when all of a sudden he started running. I chased him, and when I caught up I grabbed him and turned him to face me. That's when I realized it was not my son but a scared young child. FML
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Today, I decided to put on my Halloween make-up to be sure that I could and that it would look nice. I was satisfied with my results, and went to wash it off. Everything came off fine, except for the eye liner and eye shadow. It's bright purple. I'm a man. Halloween isn't until Sunday. FML
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Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML
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the end...
yup, its not even noon!
