Rules to follow to not upset or stress the Bride ![]()
Rule #1 if the invite says Mr and Mrs that means just the husband and wife are invited which means you have enough notice to find a babysitter. If you can not find a baby sitter in 2 months then either you have a serious problem or your children are the children of evil and no one wants to watch them which means you should stick them in therapy.
Rule #2 if the invite says 2 people this does not mean the 2 people each can bring a guest. The invite is for the 2 people and the 2 people only on the invite
Rule #3 if your child is uncomfortable being dressed up will mean their is a possibility this child will decide to run under a table and take off all his clothes and run around naked. This does not make for good video footage no matter how cute YOU think it is. This is my wedding not the big football game on thanksgiving, their will be no nakedness. So if your child is uncomfortable being dressed up staple his clothes to his body so he can not remove them.
Rule #4 When the RSVP is to a specific person you call that person not that persons daughter and have her respond for you. The RSVP is to go to that person and it is that person you call
Rule #5 If you do not RSVP by the deadline you are automatically a will not be attending. Brides have deadlines and must give final head counts to the hall. This is not a free for all show up when you feel like showing up. This is a headcount affair and an RSVP is their for a reason. You read the fine print of a contract well read the invitation
Rule #6 if you stress the bride she has rights to kick you in the shins
Rule #7: Do not ask the bride during the reception to change his or her seat. If you don't like where you are sitting, you can sit at home!
Rule #8 - If you do not like the dinner choices, eat your salad and shut up. Do not ask the bride, nor should you harass the wait staff for something else.
Rule #9 - Do not ask the DJ to dedicate a song to your spouse/parents/significant other. This is not your day, throw your own party. Nor should you ask the Bride to take time out of her day to have a special cake or sing for someone's birthday/anniversary. The Bride has wasted countless hours and $$$$$ for HER party - let it be her day. If she wants to honor someone special, she will.
Rule #10-do not take more than one favor off the table, leave some for the others at your table.
Rule #11-Don't get drunk & stupid & harass others guests at your table or put them down.
Rule #12: Do not, under any circumstances, request for the DJ to play Pour Some Sugar On Me. While it is a great song, it is not a song to dance to.
Rule #13 Someone elses wedding is NOT the time to share big news like a pregnancy, and especially NOT the time to propose to your girlfriend. Save the proposal for when you get home, and share the news another time.
Rule #14- DO NOT, even if you are a BM, request to the bride that she make her ceremony 2-3 hours later than originally planned b/c you want to sleep in that day!
Rule #15 Do not ask the bride to change her wedding date because you can not attend her wedding.
Rule #16 do not assume you are automatically invited to a wedding because the family hasnt had a wedding in 10 years and you are in wedding mode.
Rule #17 Do not expect to be invited to a wedding that you didnt invite the couple to yours
Rule #18 If a cousin is getting married and invites the entire family except you and your parents to her e-party, shower and wedding do not expect the screwed over cousin to invite you or your family to her wedding.
Rule #19 A wedding is a formal affair which costs the bride and groom a lot of money. It is not a free 3 ring circus that will have a magician or balloon animals.
Rule #20 NO the bride and groom is NOT paying for a babysitter at the wedding. If you want a babysitter then you get one on your own. If you can not find one, then sell your kid to the gypsies.
Rule #21 If I havent seen or spoken to you in 20 years why would I invite you to my wedding??
Rule #22: If you cannot attend the wedding, send in your response saying so. All it requires is for you to check off 'cannot come', put the response in the stampled envelope, and put it in the mail.
Rule #23 Do not engage in idle conversation with the bride and groom about nonsence. They appreciate your attendence but don't care that you ran into traffic on the way and have 130 other people to say hi to.
Rule #24 Please try to refrain from taking pictures behind the photographer being PAID to take pictures, you are only ruining the professional pictures by distracting people in the shot.
Rule #25: Do not say to the bride I can't believe how beautiful you can look when you put some effort into it.
Rule # 26 - do NOT kiss the bride's face with your nasty, crusty 1980's hot pink lipstick on her $300 makeup job.
Rule #27 - do not wear white or ivory unless you are the bride, or unless you have the bride's permission to do so.
Rule # 28 - do not think that as a guest you are a better photographer, DJ, videographer, musician, Maitre'D, Bridal Attendant...etc than the people your Bride PAID TO DO THEIR JOB.... just shut up, eat, dance & be a friggin guest!
Rule #29: Never say 'I told you so' or 'you should have...' to the bride!
Rule #30...Do not ask the photographer for a picture of YOUR family and promise to pay for it when it comes in...We know you'll never buy it!!!
Rule #31- PLEASE don't steal the disposable cameras on the table- they are for the bride. Buy your own **** camera!
Rule #32 dont pretend to be nice to bride & groom, even if you are bitterly jealous
Rule #33 Do not come EMPTY handed
Rule #34Do NOT come EMPTY handed & give the gift to one of my guests (A threesome with you, my guest & his GF)
Rule #35 As a guest, you are expected to find your own d*mn transportation. My friends are not cab drivers.....No whining.
Rule #36 Don't complain that I chose a place in a different county, keep B*tching, and it's getting moved to anoother state!
Rule # 37 Don't like the chilly February weather?
Good, stay home...it'll same me the price of your plate. Better than my guests all sweating like they would at a baseball game.
Rule # 38 Dress with class. You are not going to Webster Hall, you are going to a wedding. Dress like it. I AM SUPPOSEd TO BE THE ONE STARED AT ALL NIGHT, NOT YOU!
Rule # 39 Please refrain from asking the bride/groom/MOB/FOB/Fmil.FFil, etc, etc, etc....
how much you paid per person. It's just plain RUDE!
Rule #40 Please don't expect that if we invite you from out of state/out of area, that you may automatically assume you are welcomed to stay in our house. I'm sorry, it's called a HOTEL. Look it up....(I mean, it's written right on the STD card, rates and all...Duh!)
Rule #41 Just shut up, eat, dance & be a friggin guest!!!!
Rule #42: Do not come up to the bride and groom in the middle of the reception and ask them who gets to take the centerpiece home. How many weddings have you been to? It's always decided amongst the table. I don't give a crap who gets it.
Rule#43 Do not get so drunk at the reception that you think it is OK to make-out like teenagers on the middle of the dance floor!
Rule #44 - After the 3rd rendition of 'Sweet Caroline', return the microphone to the PROFESSIONAL SINGER' we hired! This is not open mic night at the frat house boys! This is my wedding!!!
