Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Thrilled Posted: Jun 13, 2003 10:40 AM

Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Anyone freaking out? Anyone's FH freaking out over the prospect of marriage? Newlyweds, were your DHs weird at all before the wedding?

Anything you guys tell me will help (I hope).

jennbaby Posted: Jun 13, 2003 10:43 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

We lived together for 2 & a half yrs before & we were totally fine!

Of course I was a it nervous of the day itself, but not cold feet, just wanted the weather to be great & everything to go fine & it did!!!!

We were both just so looking foward to be Married!!

No cold feet with us!

MarcellaBella Posted: Jun 13, 2003 10:44 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Don't worry Rach!! I think it's normal for a lot of guys to get like that.. it'll pass!!

Todd is probably more excited than I am (if you can imagine) lol

OctBride03 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 10:51 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I'm the one freaking out, John just wants this thing over with already, lol...

I think as we get closer, he will not be so calm. Me on the other hand, it can only get worse!

Jitters like this Rachel are normal. I'm sure everything will be great and you will have a beautiful wedding!

Irishbride Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:05 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I am the one freaking out too. I wanted to get married to FH for so long now its on the way I am scared. But I think that it might have a lot to do with the fact that I am not having fun planning my wedding. If I had my way we would elope.

eroxgirl Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:06 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I think I'm more nervous about it than FH is. He keeps saying he just wants to be married already and I'm the one who's just relaxing and taking my time! He's the best!!

nrvbrd Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:07 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I am more nervous than he is.

He is excited to be moving forward to another phase.

Sunny Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:08 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I am also more nervous than him. I am not nervous to be married to him, I am nervous about the wedding.

smooch Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:11 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Not nervous yet - 49 days to go! But FH and I were watching Bridezillas last night on the Metro channel and he started to get really nervous. I promised him I wouldn't behave like that, but he was nervous that things would just go wrong in general!

Scoop Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:12 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Surprisingly we were both fine. I think he was bit more nervous than I on the day of the wedding though. (only during the ceremony).

Betty Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:13 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Overall I am more nervous than him. It's a big change and I sometimes freak.

He is more nervous about the actual day of the wedding.

OctBride03 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:13 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I'm with you Sunny... like, how does this all come together? That's my biggest concern.

Irishbride - why are you not having fun planning your wedding. I'm asking because sometimes I feel like I'm not enjoying myself either... If you need to talk, FM me.

mv1003 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:17 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I think it's normal to start freaking out a little bit when the wedding gets closer! I'm freaked out a little bit......
This will pass!

Thrilled Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:19 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I think both FH and I are more worried about the prospect of 'marriage' than the actual wedding itself. Hell, to him, the actual wedding is one giant party where he gets to drink beer with his friends.

I think FH is freaking over what he perceives to be his loss of 'freedom.' I am as well. I made it 31 years on my own, now I have to answer to/for someone else. I am also resentful of having to cook and clean, both of which I hate. Yes he cooks sometimes, yes he cleans sometimes, but mostly it falls to me and I see a lifetime of it ahead of me and I shudder.

I'm just really scared and I'm scared that he is scared.

mlp924 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 11:21 AM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Thrilled~~~
Don't let it overwhelm you! Just take each day as it comes. If who cooks and who cleans are your biggest problems, you will have many many years of happiness.

You won't lose yourself in marriage, you will gain a partner.

Good luck and enjoy it!

alina Posted: Jun 13, 2003 12:25 PM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

I think FH is freaking over what he perceives to be his loss of 'freedom.' I am as well. I made it 31 years on my own, now I have to answer to/for someone else. I am also resentful of having to cook and clean, both of which I hate. Yes he cooks sometimes, yes he cleans sometimes, but mostly it falls to me and I see a lifetime of it ahead of me and I shudder.

Aaah, Rachel. Join the club!!! We're still figuring this out. We both try to cook together on weekends, and sometimes its enough for a few days. I know that we'll both need to learn how to cook for the future, but we haven't worked it through!!! We also both clean the apt. Lenny is more neat than I am, but I am a stickler for dust/dirt, which I hate.

As far as having to answer/do things on your own vs. together, it depends. You shouldn't have to answer for buying a nice skirt, jsut like he shouldn't have to answer for buying a new video game. But if one of you decides to buy a corvette or gamble away a huge sum without consulting or mentioning it to the other person, then it shows lack of respect!!! But that's JMO. I think a good marriage is a partnership, but allows enough freedom for each person not to feel obligated and free to do what they want most of the time.

WithThisRing Posted: Jun 13, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

We're not really nervous about the marriage, more nervous about the day. I am petrified that I will fall down the aisle, being so nervous I cant talk (imagine that) and crying the whole day.

He is nervous about being center of attention speaking and all eyes on him and mumbling the whole time and it all being caught on camera.

we're both very nervous about his 2 little cousins. We have visions of them running into the cake and the cake go flying.

We're together for 4 1/2 years and no matter what fears we have; we have each other to help get through them.

Marriage itself we're definatly not nervous or cold feet about that. Both really happy to have found each other

dkga1026 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 12:29 PM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Rachel - It's sooo normal to be scared. But I think sometimes the 'thought' of something is worse than actually living through it. You will do fine. Just take it day by day!!

mv1003 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 12:42 PM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

He's loved you for 6 years and will love you forever!
You both knew that you both don't love to cook and clean before now, that will all work itself out.
Sometimes, the thought of marriage & spending your 'life' with someone else, is scary. I don't care how long or how much in love you are. Of course not every question about how things will be, who will do what etc.. can be answered. We're all a work in progress. The fact that you're willing to learn and compromise for the love you have for eachother shows it's real and speaks louder to words.

OctBride03 Posted: Jun 13, 2003 01:01 PM

Re: Let's Talk About Cold Feet - His and Yours

Okay, now I see where this thread is going...

Rachel, sweetie... I now understand how you are feeling. I wasn't sure if you meant cold feet as in the actual day or actually being married. I'm not sure about John, but I am nervous. I've never lived outside of my parents house, EVER! I don't know how to cook or do laundry (I know, I know) let alone be a wife and have to do it for two (although with me working, he's prepared to help)!

As for the 'freedom' thing, I'm not sure how John feels about that. I often think to myself, WOW, this is it, no more kid stuff! This is the real thing! And that makes me nervous!

It happens to all of us! Like Michelle said, he's loved you for 6 years and will love you forever! (I like that Michelle! )

for you Rachel!