Life on LI and FH (venting....frustrated)

Life on LI is not what it used to be, when our parents were starting out, houses were affordable, neighborhoods were nice and money was still tight for some as they started out....fast forward to today....FILs could sell their house and make 9 times what they paid 21 years ago....9 times!!!! Talk about inflation. In reality, thanks to the school district they live in, they struggle to pay their property taxes each year....so even though they were able to send their kids to one of the best school districts in the area (and possibly country), they do regret the $$$ cost of that luxury.

FH forgets that we are YOUNG (in our mid-20s) and that most of his peers are over 30, do not have a law school loan to pay and therefore don't seem to be struggling the way we are.....it's no our fault that the cheapest apartments are over $2k a month where we want to live, but they are. We can't do much about that....we can't demand that we get paid enough to cover the rent for that AND eat...our bosses would laugh (and probably recall how they bought their homes for $250k years ago and can sell it for almost a million now!!!) and say no.

So why does he blame me???? I offered to stay in NC for a few years, pay off a huge chunk of that student loan and save some real money....while I paid all the other bills. BTW...I lived in a really good school district in a nice, $450/month apartment (that I could afford easily with left over $ at the end of the month)!!!!! He insisted on being near his family so I caved....but it's made us miserable. He also seems to forget that his parents were 'struggling' at 26, too.


thanks for letting me get that out.

I completely understand what you are saying. It is just so impossible for young couples starting out on long island. I don't know what we are supposed to do. Well you should know you are not alone in your struggles. You and your fh will find your way...

sorry that he is dumping his frustrations on you - i would let him cool off and than talk about it again. you are absolutely right to recognize that you cannot always 'compete' with your friends - everyone is different and in different financial situations.

i am sure you will be able to work something out.

You are right on point with much about life here on LI. My FH is 42 and bought his house 9 years ago or there would be NO WAY for us to afford anything here. It;s very frustrating. What you wrote is excellent, and well thought out. I hope you can talk to FH about how you're feeling and he listens with an open mind

I completely understand - FH and I have had this argument b/c I moved here from upstate and the standard of living is completely different!!!!

LI and the metro area is too expensive and no one (politicians included) has done a blasted thing to help those under 35 to be able to afford housing - FH and I know we'll need to save for at least 5-6 years to buy a house and that means curbing on other things (vacation, unable to purchase a new car if needed, postponing a family, etc).

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Posted by ewickens

I completely understand - FH and I have had this argument b/c I moved here from upstate and the standard of living is completely different!!!!

LI and the metro area is too expensive and no one (politicians included) has done a blasted thing to help those under 35 to be able to afford housing - FH and I know we'll need to save for at least 5-6 years to buy a house and that means curbing on other things (vacation, unable to purchase a new car if needed, postponing a family, etc).

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why must we give up our lives to live here

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Posted by vixchik

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Posted by ewickens

I completely understand - FH and I have had this argument b/c I moved here from upstate and the standard of living is completely different!!!!

LI and the metro area is too expensive and no one (politicians included) has done a blasted thing to help those under 35 to be able to afford housing - FH and I know we'll need to save for at least 5-6 years to buy a house and that means curbing on other things (vacation, unable to purchase a new car if needed, postponing a family, etc).

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why must we give up our lives to live here

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For no other reason than love - I would go anywhere with FH and if it means some sacrificing, we'll do it!

ETA: As much as it sux to live where the gas prices are too high, the rent is not controlled, and takes you 20 minutes to drive 6 miles!

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Posted by vixchik

haha...i hear you on that 20 mintue-6 miles!!! don't get me wrong...i enjoy LI, the weather is honestly not that much worse than where I lived and there is always something to do.....but i do miss the way i could go to a movie and get popcorn for less than $20 for 2 people.

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The weather is actually nicer here than it is in Rochester (at least we don't have 9 months of winter down here) where I am from, and I agree - there is a lot to do down here and places to go/see, but the cost of it all is ridiculous!!! FH and I just don't go out to movies or restaurants that much anymore due to this - we just order HBO and even that is expensive with one cable company running the show on the Island!!!!