Listen to this $hit!!!

Original post by BMD'sPeanut

Oct 08, 2004 03:21 PM

So, we invited certain people because FIL's thought it would be nice to have them...Fine...So, we send out invites...and get this particular couples response card back that says they are cming...Nice...Today, FH is talking to FFIL and finds out that the people who we sent the invite to aren't actually the ones who are coming! They are not 'into' gatherings, but their son (who was not invited) wanted to go...So his son and his fiance are coming in place of his parents (friends of my FIL's)
W T F is that?!!!

Vicky1706 Posted: Oct 08, 2004 03:51 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

That is aweful.

My sister and I threw my mom a 50th birthday this summer and one of her best friends called a week before the party and said 'since my son isnt bringing a date I invited this woman your mom and I knew 20 years ago from the gym...she just moved back from Texas and I am sure mom would like to see her.' What do you say to that!?? At $75 a head for a 50th b-day party we were not thrilled but did it anyway.
The first thing my mom said to me after everyone screamed surprise was 'who is that woman!!'

People are very nervy!

Good luck!

SANDNOV12 Posted: Oct 08, 2004 03:59 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

That is messed up. The invite was not made out to him and his fiance.

nicpizzo Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:08 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

How rude

divabride Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:12 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I dont even know what to say!!! How do you roll up to a wedding knowing damn well you werent even invited? I would say something, because that is absolutely horrendous!!!

hbradio Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:14 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

Not for nothing, but I wouldnt feel comfortable going to someones wedding if I werent invited!

halloweenbride04 Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:17 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I hear ya. We invited FH's Aunt and Uncle from FL. Well, they never responded so FSIL calls for us and she says that she's coming up without her husband but is bringing a friend from NY!!! Are you kidding me? People have nerve, I would never do that.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:23 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

See, again, because I am meaner than the rest of you I ight make my place cards and then make two entitled 'Uninvited guests'

OK, OK I would not really do that but it made me happy to say :)

Sweetpea130000 Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

That is VERY RUDE!!!!!!!!!!!

I went to visit my dad in Texas a few years ago, and brought me and FI along to a wedding that they were invited to. I felt so uncomfortable, the only reason that I was okay with going though was b/c it was in a church hall and the only thing that was served was cake and punch.

They said that is slightly normal where they live, and then others have 'big New York' weddings.

littlewilson Posted: Oct 08, 2004 04:25 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

People are weird. My dad's cousin's family decided they'd bring an extra person to the wedding - their 16-yr old daughter's boyfriend. Not invited, not mentioned at all...just showed up at the wedding (and at the after-party and Sunday brunch)! It just doesn't occur to people that it's inappropriate - let alone that it *might* affect things like seating arrangements, headcount, placecards, cost , etc. Luckily, the place just quickly threw an extra chair and setting at their table, but of course we all thought they were nuts. People are weird.

suven Posted: Oct 08, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

People are getting crazy. I guess they think that since the 'spot' has been reserved, they might as well send SOMEONE to fill it...

I guess they think that the bride and groom would have people who weren't even invited attend as opposed to being able to invite someone else themselves...

Janine24 Posted: Oct 08, 2004 05:20 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

WHAT??????????

brooklynbridezilla Posted: Oct 08, 2004 06:44 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

Posted by DebMaher

See, again, because I am meaner than the rest of you I ight make my place cards and then make two entitled 'Uninvited guests'

OK, OK I would not really do that but it made me happy to say :)

OMG!!!!! That's an AWESOME IDEA!!!! You are my hero today.

Xelindrya Posted: Oct 08, 2004 06:57 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I am SUCH an odd ball

I've gone to weddings I haven't been invited to. I was there as 'representative' of my family.

Normally our family is the type that only the 'parents' are invited unless the children are married. Even if the children are adults. It is assumed that they (the children) are invited. Also, you MUST have a representative from EVERY branch of the family. Two main reasons:

1 - You must show you care and it would be rude of the Jane Smith's Daughter and family didn't even bother to show, not a single one fo their brew of 12 people!!

2 - How else can you tell other family members 'Remember at So-So's wedding'

*shrug*

Do you just not want these people to show up or are you upset that they were 'uninvited'?

Frankly, come to think of it, most of my wedding is filled with 'uninvited' people. Since it's impossible out of 30 invites to have over 100 people reply.

DebMaher Posted: Oct 08, 2004 07:42 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

Thanks Miss Brooklyn

David'sbride Posted: Oct 09, 2004 05:14 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I'm sorry but I would have no problem calling them up and saying 'Sorry but we invited Mr. and Mrs. X. This is not a barbecue or an open house... it's MY WEDDING and I have no freakin' idea who you are. Since the wedding is July 4th I'll send you a list of Indepedence Day Activities at our local parks and beaches.'

You could do what they do at night-clubs... anyone not on the VIP list has to pay a cover charge I'll have my brother go up to them and say, 'Oh, you're not on the list... then that's a cover charge of $175 each'

Maribelle7777 Posted: Oct 09, 2004 07:08 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

If I had the balls I would have said 'it's not a tupperware party it's a WEDDING. Your parents were invited because they know my FMIL. Why would you want to go to a wedding of people you hardly know?'

But I don't have the balls to do that. I wish I did. I would be mad but say OK fine, whatever. Or i would leave it up to my fiance or FMIL whether to say anything or not.

Maybe in some cultures it's OK to do that. But I've never heard of it. Even if the parents didn't want to go, call your FMIL and explain the situation and ask if it's OK first.

If I were you I would STILL make the placecard out to the people who invited and when anyone asks say - Oh gee I must have forgotten that they sent you as their 'stand in's'.

Maribelle7777 Posted: Oct 09, 2004 07:12 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

And to even say 'we're not going because we're not 'INTO GATHERINGS'. At least make up a lie as to why you're not going'. Geez.

Vicky1706 Posted: Oct 09, 2004 08:35 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

Posted by David'sbride

I'm sorry but I would have no problem calling them up and saying 'Sorry but we invited Mr. and Mrs. X. This is not a barbecue or an open house... it's MY WEDDING and I have no freakin' idea who you are. Since the wedding is July 4th I'll send you a list of Indepedence Day Activities at our local parks and beaches.'

That is great!!!!

David'sbride Posted: Oct 11, 2004 02:56 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I'm not kidding. I seriously would do that. I'll let all of you know if it comes to that. Oh, and my brother... he would 'collect' a cover charge from any non-invites. No, not Sopranos style but I know he'd take care of them and ask them to leave. He knows I've waited this long and would never want me upset.

eogara Posted: Oct 11, 2004 03:09 PM

Re: Listen to this $hit!!!

I have 2 questions

1) who would WANT to go to a wedding that you were not invited to?? If my mother said 'Hey, Eileen, will you and Brett go to so and so's wedding in my place?' I'd be like 'what the hell are you talking about, no!'.

2) What, prey tell, did your FFIL say when he told you this? Did he find it odd or was this 'normal' conversation?