My Dad's cousin's kid is getting married in a couple of months. We are not close at all. In fact, I can't remember the last time I saw him. He never comes to family functions. In fact, I've never met the bride at all.
They booked Brentwood CC for one of the all inclusive packages...from what my grandmother said, they have more allowed spots than guests, so they invited all the 3rd cousins.
I'm invited, with FH.
Problem: They are NOT going to be invited to my wedding. I was NOT expecting to be invited to this wedding at all!
If I invite my third cousins, I'll have to invite FH's, and that gives us an extra 50-65 guests. Not only can we not afford that, but added guests will put us over the room max.
I want to reply NO, and send a registry gift, but they're not registering anywhere! There is no shower. My parents and siblings are planning on attending. It'll probably look pretty weird if I'm the only one that doesn't go!
We have a wedding the weekend before - one of FH's first cousins, and 2 weddings within a month after that. An additional cash wedding gift is not really in our budget.
Please help - what would you do?
LB and DC
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Member since
Re: little predicament:
you don't have to reply yes, just because they invited you, and you definitely don't have to invite them! FH and i are going thru major guest list drama right now, and i basically feel that if the ONLY reason you are inviting someone is so you don't offend them, that's not a very good reason to add them to the guest list. i think replying 'no' and sending a small gift or a gift card would be a thoughful idea.
LuvMyAlfonse
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Re: little predicament:
Respond no and buy a nice frame! Don't feel obligated to attend!
DananTodd
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Re: little predicament:
Hmmm. that;s a toughie...etiquette says that you have a full year to give a gift, but I personally, would not feel comfortable doing that...if you don't want to go, how about you just send a card with a gift card to bed bath?? EVERYONE can always use that, especially newyleweds!! HTH!!
Julybride08
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Re: little predicament:
You don't have to replay yes. You can always send a gift card to bed bath & beyond or something else. And no way do you have to invite them to yours
milana
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Re: little predicament:
Posted by LuvMyAlfonse
Respond no and buy a nice frame! Don't feel obligated to attend!
i agree if you dont want to go send them a nice frame or even easier send them a check with a nice card. They will be very appreciative.
irishsweetheart
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Re: little predicament:
i wouldn't go.
I'm in the same situation. FH and I were just invited to my mother's cousin's GRANDSON's wedding.
That's my FOURTH cousin!!! and to top it off it's in Boston so that would mean travel/gas/hotel money.
I'm responding NO with a $50 check.
p.s - I've never met the couple who is getting married before and did not intend on inviting them to my wedding either. my mother's cousin, yes. . .her grandson and his new wife? I don't think so.
Edited cause I left out the word cousin. It's my mother's Cousin's Grandson's Wedding.
SusiBtoM
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Re: little predicament:
Just reply no. Send a nice gift, a vase or a nice frame.
After all, how often do you really see the couple ?
Cpt2007
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Re: little predicament:
I don't think you are obligated to either go or invite them. If you think that in going, you would be obligated to invite them, decline the invitation and get them a small gift. My stock wedding gift is a $30 lenox china vase that they sell at lenox outlets.
Kara and Todd
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Re: little predicament:
Just bear in mind: You aren't obligated to go. You aren't obligated to invite them even if you do go. You are't obligated to give a cash gift whether or not you go.
Go if you want to - but also feel free to respond no if you want to. If you do go, don't feel like you have to give a big cash gift. Give what you can afford - a nice frame or a gift off their registry, whatever. Don't overthink this one!
TnOiOnL
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Re: little predicament:
dont go! buy a generic gift from fortunoffs with a gift receipt
imas98
Posted:
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Re: little predicament:
Posted by Kara and Todd
Just bear in mind: You aren't obligated to go. You aren't obligated to invite them even if you do go. You are't obligated to give a cash gift whether or not you go.
Go if you want to - but also feel free to respond no if you want to. If you do go, don't feel like you have to give a big cash gift. Give what you can afford - a nice frame or a gift off their registry, whatever. Don't overthink this one!
I second that !!
Go to the wedding if you want to but don't feel obligated to invite them because of it. Some people have a large wedding and invite everyone they know, some keep it small and can't do the same. Nothing wrong with it.
MrsQ-in2007
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Re: little predicament:
I would not go.
Then I would send them a gift with a gift receipt so they can exchange it if they want to. You don't have to give a reason, but if anyone asks your parents or brother, they can always say that you had something wedding related to do for your own wedding and wouldn't be able to go. Technically, saving money is wedding related so it wouldn't be a lie
Mrs.CM
Posted:
Member since
Re: little predicament:
Posted by Cpt2007
I don't think you are obligated to either go or invite them. If you think that in going, you would be obligated to invite them, decline the invitation and get them a small gift. My stock wedding gift is a $30 lenox china vase that they sell at lenox outlets.
Agree! If anyone asks, you had prior plans. No one needs to know what they were!
thelastresort
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Member since
Re: little predicament:
I was in the same exact situation. I just sent the RSVP card back with my regrets and put a check for $50 in there.
