Although we lived in the same house (his parents) before the wedding, we did not share the same bed......he's old fashioned and it was great anticipating being able to sleep next to him every night as his wife.....
MCDO15
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
we been living together just about as long as we be dating (thats another story)
that was 5 yrs + ago...
best choice i made with my life at that point.
pros: money, roommate (i never went away to college :( ) , being together more
cons: only draw back for us, this got serious way to quick since we havn't been dating long
prncssrachel
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
I think that's a totally personal decision and that the answer varies from couple to couple. JT and I were together a year and a half when we moved in together, but would have done it at 6months had it been possible. I consider myself a good judge of character, and I never wanted to move in with anyone else (even though I did live with a boyfriend other than JT, and man, I knew it was a mistake from before I even did it!). As for pros/cons, I really only have pros for it. We didn't have to worry about making time to see eachother when we were busy, we knew we'd at least have the time before bed together. We really got to know eachother inside and out (although I was shocked how easy the transition was), we now know our style of living, ie. who's a spender, who's a saver, who is ontop of bills, who's ontop of cleaning and laundry, etc. We have a routine that we now don't have to worry about after we get married. It also gives us more freedom to pursue separate interests. We don't feel the need to spend all of our time together, and I don't feel guilty if I want to get out with the girls or anything like that. We have our own hobbies separate from eachother, etc. I think it's important to be your own person in a relationship as well as being part of a whole, so living together made us realize that a lot easier. hope that helped!
MegLehner
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
My FH and I dated for about 4 years b4 we moved in together and we started to live together mostly because I was going to move to Indiana for law school and we wanted to be together. Pros - you get to know what each other are really like b4 you get married. Cons - for me it was never living alone. But FH works and goes to school so its like i live alone sometimes.
steph4777
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
FH and I were dating for 3 years when we moved in together. He adomant on not living together until we were at least engaged, no matter how hard I tried.
We only moved in together bc of the apt we live in. I was looking for another apt, we found out that there was a 3br/2.5 ba apt in his building. we went to look at it for fun and he said he couldn't pass it up. I thought he was joking, I didn't believe him until he asked for the lease application. The place has beautiful view of downtown Chicago and lakeview from living room and all bedrooms.
For us it was the right decision, I had just started an MBA program and he was starting law school a few months later. If we didn't live together, we wouldn't see much of each other. We do most of our talking in the car on the way to work and on our way back from class.
FeliciaDA
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We moved in together after only 4 months of dating! Yup, fast. Faster than I EVER thought I'd move in with someone, but it just felt 'right' and I had no doubts I was gonna marry the man someday (I just knew) Before FH I'd only lived with one other guy, and that was a looooooong time ago. I'd been living single for 6 years so I knew how to do the 'independent girl' thing, too.
I lived in Westchester, he on Long Island, and simply put we were MISERABLE being nearly 2 hours away from each other during the week. We just missed one another too much. I'd spend my weekdays just counting the seconds until Friday night when I knew he was coming to see me! Yes, I know some people have overcome some bigger obstacles and truly have 'long distance' relationships, but I give them credit. I just missed seeing hiim everyday and really made myself lovesick over it
But aside from the romance, we also did it for financial reasons. He was temporarily living with his folks on LI, I had my own apartment , and it made NO financial sense for him to get his own place, either on LI or close to me, when we could just split our expenses and make both our lives easier. I own my apartment so he was the one to move in with me.
Living with him made us a 'family' even before we got engaged .. and made us see that we really DID get along SO well and were made for each other. The marriage is going to just solidify everything. I cannot wait for the next chapter in our lives
SweetCin704
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
Felicia, I have a few q's for you.....FM (soon)
nehaliasz
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
we were dating for 2 years when we moved in together. He was in CA, i was on the east coast and I moved out. Had it been in Ny, I don't know if we ever would've moved in together, but I'm glad that the situation is what it is now. I love being with him and we see how well we are together. We've now been together for 5 years, and things are better than ever! Good luck!
Rainmama
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
Posted by MCDO15
we been living together just about as long as we be dating (thats another story)
best choice i made with my life at that point.
pros: money, roommate (i never went away to college :( ) , being together more
cons: only draw back for us, this got serious way to quick since we havn't been dating long
I could have written this myself!
Xelindrya
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
I had no time limit. Whenever it was right. The only thing is I usually had them move in with me. Or if I moved in with them, I didn't put my name on the lease.
Pros: Really get to know eachother cause I wanted to 'know'. Expenses, cheaper to date when it's a dinner at home, plus split bills. Time (meaning we didnt have to rush to see eachother and this way we still had our own lives). Comfort, none of this 'your place or mine'.
Cons: Sometimes it doesnt work out, you take that chance. You can be left homeless if you're not careful. (hence my note above) Expenses: again be careful don't assume debt for love, I once bought a entertainment system for my ex fiance, he took it with him. PAIN: it's really tough to move out and move on when you're that close.
Those are my honest answers.
That said. I met a guy online, hit it off well enough to meet in person for a few days (we met in Florida), really hit it off then met up again with him one more time for a weekend getaway (Pennsylvania this time) and that time I decided to move to New York City. 30days later I was living with him in Astoria (that quick enough?) Things didnt work out and I found my own place (with 2 roomies) about 3 months later. We dated a total of 60days but lived together for those 3 months (I slept on the floor for a month).
Another 3 months after moving out I met Jim.. the rest is history heh.
So I personally dont believe there is a time limits too short or too long, its whenever you feel comfortable doing it.
FeliciaDA
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
Posted by SweetCin704
Felicia, I have a few q's for you.....FM (soon)
Just got your FM , Cindy .. I'll write you back tonight (rushing out of work!)
kel2004
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We are not living together before we get married. Both of us had never wanted to live with someone before marriage.
Stacey1403
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We dated for 5 months before we moved in together.
gertyrae
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We dated for a year and a half before we moved in together. We did it to save some cash, we both had apartments and it got to the point where we both were sleeping at one or the other. And because our hours are so different we got to spend more time together. We lived together for another year and a half before we got married (we got engaged six months after I moved in). The hardest part was getting rid of stuff, we had both been living alone for a few years, there was lots of accumulated crap! The best thing was learning how to be around each other all the time before we made the big move into marriage.
KarenK122
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We started dating July 4th weekend and moved in together Labor day weekend. My long term boyfriend before my husband we knew eachother a week before he moved in .
Honestly I think it is a personal choice and you need to do what is right for you. No matter how long you have been together before moving in though my only advice is to make sure you still keep seperate accounts and lay some ground rules about bills and stuff. Eventhough your in love, you are not married and who knows what the future may hold.
I also think it has alot to do with age, I was in my late 20's with my ex and 32 with my hubby. It also may be that I'm a little impulsive too lol
aliciahelene
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We kind of started living togther immediately, not the healthiest thing Im sure, but I have NO REGRETS! We met, and wanted to spend alot of time together, we lived about an hour apart, so we started with me just spending weekends at his house, then it went to weekends plus a few days, I began to keep clothes at his house, books, etc, eventually my cat moved in with him before I did, we wwnated t spend time together, but I had to keep leaving because I didnt wnat to leave my cat alone for too long, so she and my dh moved intogether, then he got busted for the cat and was getting evicted ( NO PETS), so he found a beautiful place and asked me to move in with him officially, so at that point we had dated 8 months..and its now been three lovely years and I odnt regret a bit of it! I would never not live with someone before I marry them, their habits are too important to not know about until after a wedding....my rule was I would not marry a man unlessI knew him atleast two years, thats when I think reality seems to settle in and its not all just infatuation, but thats for me, doesnt mean its for anyone else. Are you thinking of moving in with the man????
RedHead
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
I think the choice to live or not to live together is a personal one that is different for everybody.
IMO....It has been great and i wouldn't change a thing...NO CONS
cocoa
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
we have been together almost three years and after about 3months of dating, he asked me to move in with him. then wemoved to his parents place, so pretty much, we've been together right from the beginning.
Sassyz75
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Re: Living Together Average Time Q
We moved in together 2 weeks before the wedding. We both didn't want to co-habitate.. but wanted to wait until the wedding so it was 'special'..
We both don't think that living together brings any benefit or strength to a marriage, and research seems to agree- so we figured lets go 'traditional' even though we are the furthest from it.
I think it's good to 'work a little' in the beginning- yes we lived an hour apart and we really had to make time for eachother and TRY to have a good, solid relationship- but I think that effort will follow us throughout our marriage.
