FH and I have an appointment tomorrow with our local parish to get a letter of release to get married at another parish.
We live together and it didn't even cross my mind that it would be a problem, until he and FMIL brought it up. Did anyone have a problem? Were you asked? or did you say yes and they were ok with it? FMIL thinks we should lie, but I don't feel like I should 'sell' myself and I would hate to lie to a priest!
Please let me know your experiences.
Thanks!
mrsjpc3
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
we were honest, and said we lived together. I think unless your priest is really old school, will you encounter a problem. We were lucky that our priest was very understanding and is more 'with the times', unlike my friend whose priest scolded them, and made them feel guilty. Also, when you take the FOCCUS test, there is a small section that applies for 'co-habitating' couples, so he will ask you to complete that section too. I would just be honest.
Lsorrent
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
We were honest about it at our first meeting. It was indirectly mentioned. I also had to get 'permission' to marry FH, as he's not Catholic, and on our permission slip, we had to put our addresses. I put the same address for both of us and our priest just looked and said 'Oh right you already live together' and then just moved on. About a week later, we got our 'official permission.' I would just be honest about it. The church (generally) is much more lenient now.
KLMickler
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
My FH and I have the same problem. We did our FOCCUS 'Test' already, and are waiting to get the call from the church to go in and discuss it. Yes, there is a section for ppl that live together...We are kind of scared too. We had a long distance relationship for many years and now we finally are together. When we meet with the priest we are just going to explain our situation.....Its more common to live togethernow-adays....but we are still concerned. I will let you know.....Just be honest though. I'm sure it will all work out....
p.s. Does the church realize the cost of each of us having our own place? it just doesnt make sense....
FutureMrsG
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Our priest did not even ask although it was clear from our paper work that we had the same address.
MrsBlueRibbon
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
We lied! We were never straight out asked by the priest, but when we wrote down our addresses, I put my mom's. Honestly, I don't think our priest would've cared, because he was really surprised that we didn't have the same address! I had decided right away to lie, because I have heard a lot of horror stories about getting lectured, and really, I don't have the time or patience for that, and not knowing what to expect from the priest, I wasn't willing to take the chance. It was just so much easier, no fuss, no muss!
susannjames10
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
I think it depends on the priest but i know some actually wont marry you if they know you live together
LaBellaVita622
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
omg I was thinking the same thing! We set up an appointment with him in 2 weeks & I kind of lied on the phone to the priest saying FH lives in his old town..he just moved in with me less than a month ago & I freaked out to tell the priest that we were living together..maybe I'll do the same thing just write down our info & not say anything else unless he asks :(
Diana508
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Eek! I think we are going to be honest. Hopefully, a lecture will be the worst we get. They really can't turn us away, can they!?!?!
Thanks for your thoughts!
Juhgail
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
what is a FOCCUS test?
drivwal
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
I think it depends on the priest
stinenandy2010
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Be honest about it. We were upfront with our Deacon and he didn't say anything about it.
LadyDuda81509
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
No body asked us, but we had to take that FOCUS test, and if you were living together there was an extra section...we just started living togteher when we took the test so we thought it would be ok to just pretend we were still living at home... lol i dont think the church is that strick anymore and if you let them know you are, its not like they will not let you get married!
SummerBride10
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Posted by Juhgail
what is a FOCCUS test?
Its basically like a compatability test...you and FH answer about 150 questions. Then the church compares your answers and you talk about them w/ someone, esp. the stuff you got diff. ansers for
MrsCtoB
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
We lied!!
Michy2009
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Wasn't even asked...but I was prepared to tell the truth and not lie.
Diana508
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Re: Living Together & the Catholic Church
Just came back from our initial interview from our home parish. We gave our addresses as the same and the subject never even came up!!
Now we have to have another interview at the Church that will marry us. He's a little more old school. Even the Deacon that interviewed us today said that..We'll see how that goes, but for now it's out there since our addresses on the form are the same.
