So I posted this on 2010 already and got some good responses. Just curious about people who have lived with parents there first year of marriage or plan to.
FH and I live together now in our own apt. We were talking about ways to save and we think the bets option is to move back home with my parents (upstairs apt) for no rent/or very cheap. We will save AT LEAST 2000 a month this way. We are good with money and will actually save it. We get along with my family.
Anyone plan to do this, or have done this? How did it work out?
soontobmrsmike
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Re: living with parents
Well currently we are living in my parents house in our own seperate apt. It works for us until we have enough money for a house. You just need to set boundaries with them - and it will work out. If you do not have a seperate apt i don't think it will work!! Just my opinion!! Hope that helps!!
jackieee
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Re: living with parents
Posted by soontobmrshammer
Well currently we are living in my parents house in our own seperate apt. It works for us until we have enough money for a house. You just need to set boundaries with them - and it will work out. If you do not have a seperate apt i don't think it will work!! Just my opinion!! Hope that helps!!
No it's a separate apt. It's the top level of their house. I will definitely go over some things with her like not just coming up whenever she wants. Though, I dont see her doing that. What other types of issues with boundaries should we discuss? Thanks :)
wenR
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Re: living with parents
We're living at his dad's house with his sister and we are planningon living there for a couple of years after to save for a house. You definitely have to set boundaries because they will butt into your business. FIL came upstairs one day and actually held a conversation with us while we were in the shower! You will have an audience whenever you get into an argument, even if they do not participate. My biggest peeve is that the moment I walk into the door, I hear about everyone’s day when I just want to relax. It’s a big sacrifice but I tell myself it’s worth it because of all the money we save. Just make sure you have a plan to get out.
nicole320
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Re: living with parents
FH and I lived in a second floor apt over my parents for a while. We paid a low rent and since we 'paid rent' my parents thought of us more as tenants. It worked out great- I saved a ton on laundry, groceries, and rent. If we both hadn't gotten new jobs that made our commutes redic, then we'd still be there.
jackieee
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Re: living with parents
Posted by wenR
We're living at his dad's house with his sister and we are planningon living there for a couple of years after to save for a house. You definitely have to set boundaries because they will butt into your business. FIL came upstairs one day and actually held a conversation with us while we were in the shower! You will have an audience whenever you get into an argument, even if they do not participate. My biggest peeve is that the moment I walk into the door, I hear about everyone’s day when I just want to relax. It’s a big sacrifice but I tell myself it’s worth it because of all the money we save. Just make sure you have a plan to get out.
Do you have a separate apt?? hahha that would be annoying to me also. Im gonna tell my mom not to come up without calling, and that if I dont come down and see her first when I come home to let me be. I like to be alone after a long day of work. hahah
Soon2BRomeo
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Re: living with parents
We currently live with our daughter in FMIL's Co Op. We are saving alot it is a hugh help!
chrisandjeanne
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Re: living with parents
As long as you will def save the 2k a month and you get a long with your family...one year sounds like a good sacrifice to save $24k....especially in this economy...I say go for it!
mybabylovesmoi
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Re: living with parents
FH and I did this before we bought our house. We paid rent for the upstairs apartment but still saved money had we lived anywhere else.
The parents HAVE to be cool for it to work. FIL's were not intrusive at all and there were days where I didn't see them at all.
You DO give up privacy but like you said, it's only temporary and can be a huge help.
FFIL waived our rent when we started looking for a house and those months helped us add to our down payment.
I think FMIL is really sad that we are gone now and took our dogs with us
AmyElizabeth
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Re: living with parents
FH and I lived with his family for about 5 months while we were working and looking for an apt in NYC. Oh, and it wasn't in a separate apartment - it was in his house, with his mom, dad, and 2 sisters!
It was tough at times, but definitely helpful. We saved a lot of money that we would have had to spend on rent...
FutureMrsDe
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Re: living with parents
It depends on your relationship with each others parents. And how in your business your parents are. It could hurt your relationship or be fine.
jackieee
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Re: living with parents
Thanks girls! Im close with my family...my mom and I butt heads at times, but she's really not bad. FH has no worries about it and likes my family.
Im going to talk to her now just to make sure we are clear about boundaries and everything, but I really dont see them invading our space/privacy.
Thanks for the input and sharing your experiences with this! I feel like it's the only way we can afford a house.
Relish21
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Re: living with parents
we've been with my parents for the last year and half. We're starting to look for a condo or co-op we've been married almost 3 weeks now. I love my parents but I know it's getting to DH. We live for free.... and will hopefully save some $ in addition to our wedding gift money for our new next home.
Pinkchick913
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Re: living with parents
I'm not engaged just yet but my bf and I live in a seperate apt.(upstairs)in his parents house and I'm DYING to move out.
When you walk in the front door you can either go straigh up the stairs to my apt OR there's a little vestibule with a door that leads into their house. Every SINGLE time I come home that door is always open and I feel obligated to say hello.
The last thing I want to do when I get home from work, especially after driving home in traffic for an hour is bs with his family. My bf and I have gotten into fights about this because I feel I have 0 privacy. Last Sunday he went downstairs to eat dinner, I was invited but I just didn't feel like spending my Sunday downstairs with his family. His brother lives next door with his wife and son(who's 1 1/2)and their always over.
His Mom charges us $900 a month so it's not even like she's giving us a break. I seriously could go on for HOURS about this but persoanlly I hear where you're coming from to save money but living with family PLUS your husband/boyfriend might not go so well. Good Luck!
Pinkchick913
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Re: living with parents
OMG I can totally relate and thank you soooo much for posting this because I totally hear you with having an argument and having an audience. It's soooo frustrating.
We pay $900 a month to his parents and one time his mom walked right into MY apt. w/o knocking. She thought we weren't home but she got a huge surprise when she saw me sitting on the couch.
OMG!!!!! How frustrating is it when ALL you want to do is be by yourself when you come home from work and you have to dodge them. My bf(soon to be engaged)and I live upstairs in an apt. from his parents but in order for me to get to my apt. I have to walk in the front door and 95% of the time their door is open downstairs and they can see me. GRRRRR!!!!!!!
wenR
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Re: living with parents
Posted by jackieee
Posted by wenR
We're living at his dad's house with his sister and we are planningon living there for a couple of years after to save for a house. You definitely have to set boundaries because they will butt into your business. FIL came upstairs one day and actually held a conversation with us while we were in the shower! You will have an audience whenever you get into an argument, even if they do not participate. My biggest peeve is that the moment I walk into the door, I hear about everyone’s day when I just want to relax. It’s a big sacrifice but I tell myself it’s worth it because of all the money we save. Just make sure you have a plan to get out.
Do you have a separate apt?? hahha that would be annoying to me also. Im gonna tell my mom not to come up without calling, and that if I dont come down and see her first when I come home to let me be. I like to be alone after a long day of work. hahah
No. we sleep on the second floor his room is downstairs. The house has 2 bathrooms (Thank God)
brooklynbrideliboy
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Re: living with parents
We are planning to do this in an apartment (separate door & everything) in my parents house...we are paying next to nothing in rent (like $300/month just so FH feels like we're not mooching) we plan to say 50k for a house in about a year...hope it's worth it!
itbroi805
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Re: living with parents
We live in the basement apt of my parent's house rent free. We pay the cable bill. The only that ***** is that they laundry room is down there but we have a great relationship with my parents so its cool. We have a separate entrance, but sometimes if its early in the evening, they will come in through the back since its close to the driveway.
It can be a little annoying since you can't be as 'spontaneaous' if you now what I mean, but it's the only way we could save enough money for the wedding of our dreams! We will probably be there for a little bit after the wedding as well since we want to skip an apt and go right for a house!
Mici n KC
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Re: living with parents
You should also ask your FH what his concerns are so that they can be addressed. They might be things you don't think of. Also, think of things if the situation was reverse. If you were moving into your future ILs house, what would you want to be addressed ahead of time?
jackieee
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Re: living with parents
Posted by brooklynbrideliboy
We are planning to do this in an apartment (separate door & everything) in my parents house...we are paying next to nothing in rent (like $300/month just so FH feels like we're not mooching) we plan to say 50k for a house in about a year...hope it's worth it!
Yes..I am 99% sure we can save at least 50K by doing this!! (That is including the wedding money) I think we could really save more than that.