(LONG) NWR...You may think this is silly, but I am mad at FI

I was always attracted to FI because he was so different. Back then he was staight-edge - no prematiral sex, no drugs, no alcohol. I really admired that. We started dating and I promised him that would stop drinking and I haven't touch alcohol since. I respected him. He always tasted drinks at our friend's parties but never drank and swore he would never ever get drunk - it was a promise we made to each other....I always trusted him when he went out, never thought I couldn't. Well, I called him tonight and he was drunk - he threw up at his GMs house after they went to a bar for a friends bday. I know most of you will think this is really stupid and that it's not a big deal, but I feel betrayed. I kept my promise to him and this is so unexpected. He apologized and I told him I loved him and it wasnt a big deal - but I am really pissed off We had a promise!! And he broke it ....

Sorry, I justed needed to get it out!

Are you angry that he got drunk (in and of itself)? Or angry that he broke a promise?
What would happen if he didn't want to be straight-edge anymore?

Wow, reading what you wrote really took me back a few years. I was straight-edge for a very long time and I only used to date guys that were, or as I usually found out, weren't. And I understand that it's not the act of what he did, but the compromising of a promise you two made to eachother and a compromise of your values and morals. I used to almost get sick to my stomach when I would see someone I cared about, who was supposedly sXe, get drunk or do things that were totally not in their character. But as I got older, I realized that things like drinking and what not are certainly ok in moderation. It's a very high standard to live upto to be sXe, and I think that if you do it as a promise to someone else, it can be a burden, too. Sometimes you just don't want to have to watch what you do. You just want to let loose, and I'm sure that's what happened with your FH. NOT TO SAY that you shouldn't feel let down. It was a promise between you two and of course you're going to be upset if a promise is broken. But I also think that you two should sit down every now and then and re-evaluate how that lifestyle is still suiting you. If for no other reason than to know you are still on the same page with it. I hope that helped. But I do know how you feel, and it's one of those feelings that are very hard to describe to someone. But it's like something in your gut just isn't right. Definitely talk to him.

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Posted by cluelessbride

Are you angry that he got drunk (in and of itself)? Or angry that he broke a promise?
What would happen if he didn't want to be straight-edge anymore?

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I agree, is it the promise making....or is there a little jealousy involved, that he got drunk and you didn't....i know i'd be jealous, getting a little tipsy is fun :)

haha. it wasnt jealousy at all. i honestly have no desire to get drunk, ever again. its that we had a promise and i trusted him - hence, i felt betrayed. oh well... today is a new day and i had such a wonderful dream about my wedding last night