Long road ahead...

I just got off the phone with FH as we are trying to finalize guest lists before the STD's go out. When I made my list, I included my father on it knowing full well he wasn't going to be there. His name had to go on the list because he was still with us when we wrote it. The same list has gone back and forth a few times between FH and myself. As we went over the list together this time over the phone, I saw he had Mom listed alone and I broke down and lost it. I wasn't angry at FH. This is just the way it is now and there is nothing I can do about it.

Daddy is gone only a little over one week. I am not ready to think of Mom as a widow just as she isn't ready to think of herself that way either. We had discussed how we were going to word the wedding invitations with her as Mrs. 'Daddy's first and last name' rather than her first name in order to honor him. A person who has passed cannot invite. We felt that this was best.

Sorry to be so depressing but there isn't anyone else here right now and you guys have always been supportive of me. Continued thanks.

I'm so sorry I think that even though your father won't be there physically, he will be spiritually, and you should do little things (like invitation wording) to honor him. I have even heard of people reserving a seat at the ceremony for a parent that is no longer with them. Feel free to talk to us any time you need to. I admire you for opening up and sharing all of this with us. Not everyone could do that.

my father passed away when i was ten... once i finally went back to school the smallest thing would trigger something in my brain and I would just start balling out of no where... well, years have passed and it did get much easier... I have lived more of my life without him then with him... so i guess i have come accustomed to not having him in my life... well all of a sudden once I started planning my wedding not having my dad around has gotten so hard...i cry again whenever i think of it... it's hard and it just *****, and no matter what anyone says or does nothing can make it better, i just have to live through it and try to remember good things...

funny thing happened though... when my father died he had no life insurance, so my mom was pretty much screwed, left with no money... all these years later she is still not in a position to help with the wedding... welll guess what happened... all of a sudden right after we got engaged, out of no where I got this letter in the mail. apparently my dad had this small life insurance policy no one knew about... the company did an audit and found out he wasnt alive... the beneficiaries were his children (my brother and I) so i ended up getting money from my dad to help pay for the wedding!!! To me that was a sign... so i know he is watching, just as i am sure your dad is watching you too!! Be happy that you got to live as long as you did with him and he got to see you grow up and get engaged!! think of the good things... it gets easier i promise...

I hope this helped and it wasnt just another one of my rambles!!

Oh sweetie I lost my dad too, but I wasn't close with him though like you were (his loss, i keep telling myself that, even now 10 years later)...You are so strong and will make it though this

oh Leslie. I am so sorry- I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you. Just try to remember that your father would want this to be a happy occassion, but it is perfectly acceptable for you to 'lose it' on occassion. Cry your heart out luv- that is what tears are there for, to express our emotions.

I love the idea for your invite wording. I think it's perfect.

God Bless your mom and your family- hugs to you all.

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Posted by cjb88

my father passed away when i was ten... once i finally went back to school the smallest thing would trigger something in my brain and I would just start balling out of no where... well, years have passed and it did get much easier... I have lived more of my life without him then with him... so i guess i have come accustomed to not having him in my life... well all of a sudden once I started planning my wedding not having my dad around has gotten so hard...i cry again whenever i think of it... it's hard and it just *****, and no matter what anyone says or does nothing can make it better, i just have to live through it and try to remember good things...

funny thing happened though... when my father died he had no life insurance, so my mom was pretty much screwed, left with no money... all these years later she is still not in a position to help with the wedding... welll guess what happened... all of a sudden right after we got engaged, out of no where I got this letter in the mail. apparently my dad had this small life insurance policy no one knew about... the company did an audit and found out he wasnt alive... the beneficiaries were his children (my brother and I) so i ended up getting money from my dad to help pay for the wedding!!! To me that was a sign... so i know he is watching, just as i am sure your dad is watching you too!! Be happy that you got to live as long as you did with him and he got to see you grow up and get engaged!! think of the good things... it gets easier i promise...

I hope this helped and it wasnt just another one of my rambles!!

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I think that's a great story. really makes you think. hugs to you too!

Hi sweetie. I am so sorry that you are going through this. It is completely normal for 'little things' to upset you. I love your idea of honoring your father with the invitiation wording. Maybe you could even have a moment of silence or light a candle at the wedding in honor of your father. You have a long road ahead of you and we are here if you need us. You can always depend on us!

Continued and to you and your family.

Thanks again ladies.

Cortney, that was truly a great story. I am glad your father was able to provide for you years after his passing. Another great man.

Oh Leslie, I'm so sorry!! It's gonna be tough, but you're strong, you'll pull through on this!!

My FI lost his mom over 2 years ago and still has a hard time, things just trigger those emotions. I'll tell you the same thing I tell him; you won't ever forget loved ones and you will always miss them, but in time it will get easier.

Also, one of my favorite quotes is 'don't be sad that it's over but smile bc it happened'. Be glad that your dad was a wonderful man and that you got to enjoy being his daughter. Relish in the fact that you had a great relationship with this man, something that not all of us are blessed with.

you'll always have little things that set you off (my dad passed away almost 20 years ago and some things still get to me). This will probably sound crazy, but he'll let you know he's there watching over you. For example, when I got engaged Fh proposed in a park that we had never ever been to together. when we got home and told my mom she started sobbing. turns out that it is the same park that she and my father got engaged in and we didn't even know! to me, that was like a sign (again, don't think I'm crazy). So my point is even though the little things (and there will be many) might bring you down and upset you, just know that there will be the times where you will feel at peace knowing that he is in a better place and that he is watching over you!

I'm so sorry!!! It's difficult but I think it's great that your honoring him!!! He will still be with you - maybe you would feel better carrying a token or momento - i will carry a crystal flower my great grandma handbeaded in my bo-k in memory of her and my relatives that have passed!!
we're always here for you!!!

I'm so sorry!!! I can't even begin to imagine the pain you are feeling right now. Stay strong, hang in there and know that your dad is looking over you, every second of every day and he will be looking down on you when you honor him on your special day.
Much love, hugs and prayers for you and your family.

Hang in there...My thoughts are with your and your family during this difficult time

Leslie, my prayers are with you. I can't even imagine how you feel right now. You're strong though & I know your dad is looking down on you and smiling. He's in a better place & not feeling any pain and you know he'll always be watching over you.

I can only say I truly so very sorry for your loss.