Looking for some phrases for a difficult TY card (LONG)
I am not sure what to write. I definitely want to write something of substance, but I think because I am still 'emotional' over the situation, I am blocked on what to write.
Here's the summary: I had a bridesmaid, Jill, who was very difficult. Her cousin, Mary, was also a bridesmaid. They are both cousins to my husband.
I want to write something to Mary. The background here is that Mary kind of got roped into everything that Jill was doing.
Mary and I had gotten pretty close during my 2 year engagement. Then, there were issues with my Mother in Law's dress for the wedding, and Mary started to get upset with me and my husband because my mother in law was upset.
We kind of glazed over that because the wedding was so close. But, Mary told Jill about the issues, and Jill made life much worse for us all.
There was also drama with my 11 year old niece on the night before the wedding- she was annoying Mary and Jill so they let her stay with them.
But, then I think my niece annoyed them too much, so when they saw my friend in the hotel hallway, they left her with my friend. They then went out, and my niece was in my suite, all upset. MY cousin tried very hard to calm her down.
My husband called them and yelled at them both for creating problems the night before the wedding. They both responded by saying that they didn't feel included. We (me and the girls) talked about that until 2 am the night before my wedding.
On the way to my ceremony, they asked my niece if she had really been upset, and my niece said 'no, they made that up.'
My niece later admitted to me what she did, and said that she was afraid to tell them the truth.
While on my honeymoon, I sent a letter to Mary thanking her for her help in my wedding.
After the honeymoon, I received a nasty email from Mary saying that she didn't understand what she did to deserve such nonsense, that my niece was not her responsibility, that I lied about my niece being upset, and that it was too bad that returning my niece to me ruined my 'plans to party.'
In response, my husband wrote Mary a LONG email, mostly complaining about Jill, but also telling Mary that 'we' don't want to see or hear from her again. (OUCH!)
So, it's been 2 months, with NO contact or communication from Mary...
I feel very bad about this and would like to offer the 'olive branch' to Mary...
But, I DO NOT want to throw my niece under a bus and say that she's bad, etc. I don't want to mention my niece AT ALL. (Prior to them taking her that night, I was VERY CLEAR that my niece is very difficult and is not always truthful...SO, they already knew this.)
![]()
Edited to add, in the email that my husband sent to Mary, he did tell her that my niece WAS upset that night, but was afraid to admit it to them, and that the 'party in my room' phrase was sarcasm with regard to steaming our dresses...
Here's the summary: I had a bridesmaid, Jill, who was very difficult. Her cousin, Mary, was also a bridesmaid. They are both cousins to my husband.
I want to write something to Mary. The background here is that Mary kind of got roped into everything that Jill was doing.
Mary and I had gotten pretty close during my 2 year engagement. Then, there were issues with my Mother in Law's dress for the wedding, and Mary started to get upset with me and my husband because my mother in law was upset.
We kind of glazed over that because the wedding was so close. But, Mary told Jill about the issues, and Jill made life much worse for us all.
There was also drama with my 11 year old niece on the night before the wedding- she was annoying Mary and Jill so they let her stay with them.
But, then I think my niece annoyed them too much, so when they saw my friend in the hotel hallway, they left her with my friend. They then went out, and my niece was in my suite, all upset. MY cousin tried very hard to calm her down.
My husband called them and yelled at them both for creating problems the night before the wedding. They both responded by saying that they didn't feel included. We (me and the girls) talked about that until 2 am the night before my wedding.
On the way to my ceremony, they asked my niece if she had really been upset, and my niece said 'no, they made that up.'
My niece later admitted to me what she did, and said that she was afraid to tell them the truth.
While on my honeymoon, I sent a letter to Mary thanking her for her help in my wedding.
After the honeymoon, I received a nasty email from Mary saying that she didn't understand what she did to deserve such nonsense, that my niece was not her responsibility, that I lied about my niece being upset, and that it was too bad that returning my niece to me ruined my 'plans to party.'
In response, my husband wrote Mary a LONG email, mostly complaining about Jill, but also telling Mary that 'we' don't want to see or hear from her again. (OUCH!)
So, it's been 2 months, with NO contact or communication from Mary...
I feel very bad about this and would like to offer the 'olive branch' to Mary...
But, I DO NOT want to throw my niece under a bus and say that she's bad, etc. I don't want to mention my niece AT ALL. (Prior to them taking her that night, I was VERY CLEAR that my niece is very difficult and is not always truthful...SO, they already knew this.)
Edited to add, in the email that my husband sent to Mary, he did tell her that my niece WAS upset that night, but was afraid to admit it to them, and that the 'party in my room' phrase was sarcasm with regard to steaming our dresses...
