Maid of honor drama

I knew from the start that choosing this girl to be my maid of honor would come along with some drama. I think everyone knows someone like this...theres aaaaalways some drama going on in their life... But ive known her since I was 5 and she chose me to be her maid of honor in her wedding (which was cancelled)
The little things that were annoying were she woulddnt give me her measurements for a month and I had to beg her bc i was at the deadline of having to rush order all the girls dresses. She still hasent given me the money for her dress (which was purchased in march) and i put 100.00 toward it, She hasent helped in any way for the wedding, bridal shower (didnt even rsvp for it) and has not planned any plans for a bachelorette party....but whatever I can overlook those things.

2 days ago she drops a bomb on me that she MIGHT not be able to make it to my wedding because she has a surgery planned. At first im totally understanding and sympathetic of the situation. I would never expect someone to put off surgery for my wedding. BUT then she is telling me shes postponing her surgery (which she could get soon) so she can take a vacation with her boyfriend. and while shes talking about it I realize that shes known about this surgery for weeks and didnt even tell me...and she told me she explained to her dr how important it was for her to take a vacation with her boyfriend (a vacation that is not booked or anything) and didnt even mention my wedding. When i try to ask her details about the surgery and when she will know the details, she leaves me in the dark. She texts me the next day 'When is your wedding? My bfs sisters wedding might be the same day and I might not be able to make anything'. Like ***? After I asked her if she was saying she thought her bfs sisters wedding was more important than mine, she made up some lame exuse about needing her bf to be there to help her for my wedding...

Ive paid for her MOH dress which is a size 16 which couldnt fit any of the other girls, so serious alterations will need to be made asap. her name is in programs, bouquet is paid for, i paid for her hotel room and i will have to change ceremony details bc i'll have off numbered bridal party...

So now i have to ask another girl to be my bridesmaid 2 months before my wedding which is sooo awkward...and hope that she can fit in my other friends dress.. I went ahead and
already asked my bridesmaid to step up to be maid of honor (who i should have picked from the start)
When I told her I needed to replace her she totally changed her story and makes it sound like she can make it. She doesnt even know my wedding date when i talk to her, or my bridal shower date. But knows she can or cant make it? Its weird. And honestly im hurt, bc ive bent over backwards for this girl all my life. Shes driving me crazy. Sorry for this extremley lonnnng vent..but do u ladies think I did the right thing? I hope so.

I honeslty would have done the same thing. A maid of honor should be the closest person to you. That perseon should want to share life events with you. She should be excited for you and want to be as involved as possible. She dedinitely does not deserve the MOH position. I think that is just rude that she doesn't know your wedding date. She is ruining what could be an exciting time for the two of you as friends.

The only thing I can think of why she would be acting that way--is mmaybe she feels weird since her wedding was called off. Maybe she's jealous and doesn't want to be a part of it because she's upset her wedding was called off. I'm not looking for excuses for her, just thinking of all possibilities--I'm a social worker so I tend to do that.

for sure you made the right decision
better now than day of!

to be honest I think she comes off jealous in a way. it's all about her and her bf but forget about you and your wedding. I definitely would not have her involved in anything. I had a friend who I've known since I was 5 also and I think just because you've known someone a long time it doesn't mean anything. people change! I'm not even asking my oldest friend just because I only wanted girls close to me now and I see all the time compared to the other one I barely see.

what kind of moh wouldn't know your wedding date? and making you pay for things? if I was you I'd already be screaming at my moh lol. I mean I would let her have it. and her bfs sister's wedding is more important than yours? that alone would make me want to slap my moh if I was you lol. I think you are totally making the right choice to replace her and I think she's just toying with you or trying to get attention or something.

Thank you ladies. Your responses made me feel more at ease. I hate to think that she's jealous of me, because I would be thrilled if she was getting married, but you girls are probably right. Also, her mother is schizophrentic so I think her mothers behavior is behind alot of her behavior. Whether its learned or genetic im not sure. She was supposed to call me today and let me know what the dr. said... Still havent heard from her. Im dreading meeting with her to tell her shes not in the wedding party!! O well, hopefully things go more smoothly from here.

Thank you again ladies. Its nice to know there are some kind, non-jealous girls out there

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Posted by cj52514

I think you were 100% right. Your MOH should be helping you alleviate stress, not causing the majority of it! Honestly, what did she expect if she told you she might not make it to your wedding?

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this!

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Posted by cj52514

I think you were 100% right. Your MOH should be helping you alleviate stress, not causing the majority of it! Honestly, what did she expect if she told you she might not make it to your wedding?

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Well said....couldn't have said it better!!! Good luck with everything....

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Posted by pixietina

This is beyond ridiculous. I can see that from a bridesmaid, but your MOH. Kick that b**ch to the curb and maybe beat her up too. That girl needs to get jumped.

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LOL hahah thanks for making me laugh.
I'm not even calling her. I hate drama and the more I think about it, the more upset I get. I'll drop the bomb on her last minute and see how she feels lol.

Thank you girls again for your words of advice & comfort, I truly appreciate it!

you are 100% right to do that!! your MOH should not be asking when your wedding is!! that is ridiculous!! That b***h needed to get kicked out a long time ago!! Im so sorry you are going through this!

How horrible to make you stress out!! UGH! I hate people like that!

I think you are 100% in the right... We can't control how people act but we can control how we react and honestly you sound like you were very nice and respectful and I give you a lot of credit because I am not sure I would've been as diplomatic as you.

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Posted by youmewe

I think you are 100% in the right... We can't control how people act but we can control how we react and honestly you sound like you were very nice and respectful and I give you a lot of credit because I am not sure I would've been as diplomatic as you.

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ITA!!

You are 100% correct and did the right thing!
Who's MOH doesn't know your wedding date? That's nuts and sounds like she is very jealous of you! Stay away from her... you don't need a friend who is not there for you during this happy time in your life.