I'm the oldest of 3 girls. I always planned on making my middle sister my Maid Of Honor. We are newly engaged and the topic has come up of who I'd be 'choosing'. I'd really love to have both my sister's as maid's of honor and my very best friend and mother of my god-daughter my Matron of Honor. My middle sister would sign the witness papers, etc.
Does having multiple honorary girls dilute the importance of my middle sister's role? I think she feels it does but these are 3 very special people to me and I really don't want to leave any of them out. I will have at least 4 or 5 more girls in the party, one more friend and the rest cousins.
Any advice or similar experiences would be much appreciated! xo
youmewe
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I have three sisters who I am extremely close to, a bff who I have been amazingly close to since we were 5 and then I have two daughters and FH has two also! So I had the fear that I couldn't make everyone happy. However I picked my one sister to be my MOH and none of my other sisters are in wedding neither is my bff..I explained to everyone that having our daughters of course was necessary however I didnt feel it appropriate any of them be a MOH and I only choose my one sister because her and I are almost like twins and that is well known. No one cared and everyone was happy. I will say my family is a little non traditional in that the bride pays for everything regardless (dresses etc) so I think it was sort of assumed I would keep wedding party small. You have to try to o what makes you happy and simply express this to everyone..and I think everyone can be a MOH if thats what you want
db276952
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I am having two MOH's my cousin and best friend. For one reason, my cousin is only 19 so it is difficult for her to plan anything. My FH also wanted to do two, his brother and friend two so it worked out.
I've been to a lot of weddings where there have been two MOHs or Best Men. I don't see any negatives to it.
scottsbride
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
If you feel it is going to be a problem then why dont you not have any moh's? Then you dont have to worry because they will all feel the same. My cousin had 2 maid of honors at her wedding and it didnt seem weird.
Lau1007
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
Something similar happened at my friend's wedding, she really wanted her BFF to be MOH, but didn't want to risk upsetting her sister. So she just called all the girls 'ladies of honor' and all the guys 'best gents.' But behind the scenes, her BFF was taking on the MOH duties, even though she didn't have the 'title.'
tonyjess
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I like your idea of having multiple MOH's, in a large bridal party those ladies will feel more honored than being part of a large group. FH and I are not having a MOH and best man - just bridesmaids and groomsmen. My sister has already asked me twice if she is the MOH...and we are not close and she makes no effort. To make a friend MOH would hurt my sister, so it's easier not to have a MOH at all. I'd make her and a friend MOH's but my closest friend travels a lot for work and can't do MOH duties. Since neither potential MOH could really do the job, I'm not having a MOH. Also FH can't deal with having to choose a best man! lol. So it's better for me not to have a MOH.
Sugaplum111905
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I was in a similar boat. I have 3 FSILs, 2 FBILs and 2 BROS to consider for our bridal party. We wanted to keep it strictly family as if you start adding friends, you have to add all, well lets face it, in the end it will be 40 ppl in our BP.
I'm extremely close to FH's sisters and treat them as my own since I don't have a sister. I could not imagine picking between the two to be my Matron of Honor(they are both married) so I am picking both of them. They like to compete against each other to see if one beats the other to the title. I also have a FSIL that's engaged to my brother, whom I am not too close with but figured I have to put her in the bridal party to avoid anyone 'talking'. FH has two younger brothers and since he can't pick between the two of them for best man, he is picking both. In the end it works out.
Maybe you can make a pact with your sisters, like they did on FRIENDS, and have the role alternate between everyone's wedding... that way everyone gets to be the MOH once.
amandaNmike
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
i brought this dilemma up to my prospective matron of honor - which was risky bc i didn't know how she'd react...maybe SHE wanted to be the only one too?! lol but it worked out. she is my very best friend but knows i have 2 sisters and cannot leave them out. she said she'd be happy to just be a bridesmaid but its my choice and to do what i want. so i think i've decided that i will have my bff as matron, my 2 sisters as MOH's but have my middle sister (who if i had guts enough to choose would JUST choose her) sign the witness papers and maybe some other little special things like the toast at the wedding, etc. thank you for all your input i really appreciate it!!
JojoBride
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Re: Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I don't have any sisters but had a very hard time choosing just one girl SO I now have 2 MOH.
It is so great you are looking out for the feelings of those most important to you BUT it is YOUR wedding and you can do whatever you want!
If you have multiple MOH I don't think anyone would be considered less important...just do something so they will stand out a little more from the rest of your girls!
amandaNmike
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
UPDATE: I now have one MOH and that is all lol my mom kind of made a big deal about taking the real meaning of MOH out of it with 2 MOH's (my sisters) and a Matron (my bff). she was concerned with who will fix my dress at the alter, how they will be announced at the reception, etc. i never really thought about that til she said something. i'm sure it wouldn't have been a big deal but i also think maybe my middle sister (who was going to sign the witness papers from the beginning) felt it took away some of the importance of her being '#1 MOH'...so in conclusion lol more than one person in my family found all those people excessive so i've cut the list of MOH's down to 1...my middle sister.
i'll be sure to still give special gifts and special cards to my other sister and best friend though.
Jott1015
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Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I have 2 best friends and have asked both of them to be maid/matron of honor... one i have known since 1st grade and her son is my Godson - the other i met about 4 years ago but she is an AMAZING friend to me... I explained to each that they are both my best friend and I am NOT going to choose just 1. They both understood. I think its fine to have more than one =)
natalierose1085
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Re: Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
I am the oldest of 3 girls. I also have a cousin who is close with all 3 of us and we even joke around and call her the 4th sister. But then I have my best friend since 4th grade who I am just as close with as I am with my sisters. I chose both of my sisters to be maid of honor, the 3 of us made a deal to each just have both of the other 2 of us and not force each other to chose one of us. My middle sister is getting married a few months after I am, so she is having both of us as maid of honor too. My best friend and my cousin are Bridemaids, and they completely understood the situation. I actually have a few other bridemaids who are other close girlfriends of mine, and I plan to have my BFF and cousin hold special bouquets that match the maid of honor bouquets (maid of honors are in a different color dress).
I think you should just do whatever you want to! It's not about pleasing other people it's about you have the people most important to you up there by your side. And they will understand the situation whether you end up with multiple maids of honor or just one.
misserikalynn
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Re: Maid/Matron Of Honor(s) ~ Conflicts!
such a good idea!! ladies of honor and best gents :) love it! I too am having this issue
