major FMIL Vent

removed in case of lurkers.

thank you for all your words of advice

Ugh...this makes me angry....

Does she really not have the $$? Or do you think she is being spiteful about it?

If this is the case, and she doesn't have the $, maybe you can find out how much extra it would cost to add everyone else , and pay the difference....

Honestly, I learned a long time ago to never expect or accept anything from the FMIL, as it always comes with a price tag

1st, I’m sorry you have to deal with this.
2nd, can you and FH pay the additional $$ for the others to come to the RD?

I would be annoyed for a few reasons-- mainly that your wedding is fast approaching and she is just telling you this. Is she in a financial bind? If something unexpected happened, then I can understand. But you have been engaged for a while and she had plenty of time to save. So unless there are dire circumstances, this is very inconsiderate.

With the RD, can you and FH afford to pay for the extra people? I would have a hard time eliminating people..so if financially you can swing it...i would cover the additional people.

Sorry you are going through this. And I hope it all works out

i dont know... money drama is just asking for a life of sh*tstorms between you all.

i'd maybe have FH (not you) go back to her and say 'mom are you SURE you can't squeeze in __ however many more people. its important that her brothers/sisters/pets/ray romano be there' (or i mean maybe its on HIS side i dont know)

and if she fights it... whatever. screw it. find a way to pay for it yourselves or if you can't... cut down i guess.

its not worth fighting her over. make sure FH says something like 'this really kind of ***** because you agreed to pay for this' but i mean also... times are tough. maybe she thought she could and actually feels bad that she can't.

i also wouldn't go to your parents and be like 'hey FH's mom is being a pain the hoo-haa so can YOU pay for it?' because that's asking for in-law on in-law drama.

its tricky. i know. good luck

That's insane. I think once you calm down you guys need to sit with her and talk. This is so unfair to you guys. I hope everything works out!

That would make me mad if it's all based on her mismanaging her money! To commit to something and pull out so close to the wedding is awful.

Your idea about the cocktail party sounds good. Or could you do something at her house? My friend did a nice party at her home and it could save money and not limit the number of people

thats probably a good idea.

sounds like she signed up for something and then wasn't responsible about preparing $$$wise for it.

OOPS on her part. tsk tsk

OMG I am so sorry that's happening to you!!

It seems like you have the RD somewhat figured out, but what are you going to do about the flowers??

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Posted by JayBee216

OMG I am so sorry that's happening to you!!

It seems like you have the RD somewhat figured out, but what are you going to do about the flowers??

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luckily FH is willing to pay for the flowers.

can you find a more affordable RD venue?

edited to say i see you already covered this option.

Not sure if you remember but the same exact thing happened to me! So I can totally relate and it really s*cks!!!!!!!!

Basically, in my situation my parents stepped up and paid. DH and I contributed as much as we could. Have you tried speaking to your parents? Anyway to come up with the extra cash? Maybe have it back at someone's house instead?

I would still invite them. do not leave them out!
my mil didnt pay for squat except the rd and that ended up at a cheap restaurant. she claims that money is tight but than goes out and remodels her kitchen

grrrr. fmil is such an a$$!!!! sorry... my blood is boiling for you...

if thats the case, why not host the RD yourselves then? it just doesnt seem right that your BMs are not included.