MAJOR MOH Problems! Please help!

I'm having a major issue with my sister, whom I've asked to be my MOH. I also asked my lifelong childhood friend to be second MOH. Apparently this is totally unacceptable to my 19 year old sister who is throwing a fit over not being the only MOH. She thinks there should only be one MOH and not 'Maids of honor.' I really don't know how to resolve this without hurting anyone's feelings. I care about both of them and truly want both of them to be my MOH's. But this is causing so much drama between my family because my sister is unwilling to accept my choices. Neither of them are married, and was wondering if there is another title I can give my best friend that isn't MOH, but not just bridesmaid! My sister said I have to chose her or my best friend otherwise she's not going to be in the wedding.

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Posted by buttrfly2414

I'm having a major issue with my sister, whom I've asked to be my MOH. I also asked my lifelong childhood friend to be second MOH. Apparently this is totally unacceptable to my 19 year old sister who is throwing a fit over not being the only MOH. She thinks there should only be one MOH and not 'Maids of honor.' I really don't know how to resolve this without hurting anyone's feelings. I care about both of them and truly want both of them to be my MOH's. But this is causing so much drama between my family because my sister is unwilling to accept my choices. Neither of them are married, and was wondering if there is another title I can give my best friend that isn't MOH, but not just bridesmaid! My sister said I have to chose her or my best friend otherwise she's not going to be in the wedding.

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I'm sorry but your sister is being irrational, selfish, and just a bit childish. Either she accepts what YOU want because you're the one getting married...or she doesn't...It's very unfair of her to give you that kind of ultimatum. This isn't her wedding and its not her way or the highway. This is YOUR day. And if she doesn't like the fact that she has to share the responsibility then tell her not to be in the wedding and just be a guest along with the rest of your family. She's 19...I'm sure she doesn't have much money or time to plan all the things the MOH is responsible for due to school and just her being 19 and wanting to have a life of her own

I have 2 sisters. One is 26 and one is 19. I always said that I'd have the younger one as my MOH because my other sister was already my son's godmother. Well, now that the time came, I changed my mind due to the fact that I just dont think she can handle it. Shes just not mature enough. If there was any objection, she didnt tell me.

So, bottom line; your sister needs to accept your decision, whatever that may be. It is your wedding.

I know the situation is always tougher when family is involved. I will be gentle but honest since I know this it is your sister.

-Her behavoir is entirely uncalled for. She's taking your wedding and making it about her. Already she has lost focused on what the main purpose of the wedding is, which is a day of celebrating you and your FH and the coming together of two families. Why would she be willing to walk out on you now at a time when you need her support more than ever?

-They say people's true colors show at weddings and funerals. It's early on in your planning and things are only going to get more stressful as the wedding gets closer. Keep people around you who are not going to walk out on you when things don't go their way.

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Posted by kam0813

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Posted by buttrfly2414

I'm having a major issue with my sister, whom I've asked to be my MOH. I also asked my lifelong childhood friend to be second MOH. Apparently this is totally unacceptable to my 19 year old sister who is throwing a fit over not being the only MOH. She thinks there should only be one MOH and not 'Maids of honor.' I really don't know how to resolve this without hurting anyone's feelings. I care about both of them and truly want both of them to be my MOH's. But this is causing so much drama between my family because my sister is unwilling to accept my choices. Neither of them are married, and was wondering if there is another title I can give my best friend that isn't MOH, but not just bridesmaid! My sister said I have to chose her or my best friend otherwise she's not going to be in the wedding.

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I'm sorry but your sister is being irrational, selfish, and just a bit childish. Either she accepts what YOU want because you're the one getting married...or she doesn't...It's very unfair of her to give you that kind of ultimatum. This isn't her wedding and its not her way or the highway. This is YOUR day. And if she doesn't like the fact that she has to share the responsibility then tell her not to be in the wedding and just be a guest along with the rest of your family. She's 19...I'm sure she doesn't have much money or time to plan all the things the MOH is responsible for due to school and just her being 19 and wanting to have a life of her own

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Kam i love that we see eye to eye ... you def took very thought from my mind and every word from my mouth !!!! very well said and ITA .....You wedding if you want 500 MOH thenn you should have 500 MOH

This is a tough situation - and you understandably don't want to cause further rifts in your family. I think it's a rational thing to explain to your sister that you understand she is frustrated, and that was never your intention. You would like both her and your friend to share in your special day with this role. Explain that your friend has already accepted the position (I'm assuming?), and now you would like to know if she will join your friend.

Sometimes it's all about how you word the contingency. Remember that it's your big day, and it's about what you want on that day. She cannot dictate the planning of your bridal party.

Good luck!