major vent (after my major check)

Isn't this wedding supposed to be about me and FH??? What the fffff is going on???

My mom is using my wedding as a way to get back at my dad for 'winning' money in their divorce and is making him pay for the wedding. My dad is pissed and wants to take my mom's friend off of the guest list.

I told my dad that I don't expect him to pay for everything (even though he is paying for the majority) and that we can work it out so that he can pay for his family and maybe the limo or something. So my dad says now that he won't be there if this other guy is...

I told him that he's putting me in the same position that my mom put me in (when she said that since she paid for my sister's wedding with my grandfather's money and now that my dad has my grandfather's money (from the divorce), that my dad should pay for my wedding...)

I am crying so much right now and I don't even know what to do......... I am seriously considering not even doing a wedding because of this...

Anyone have any advice for me? This is just opening up a whole new can of worms, and I can just see the drama all throughout these next 7 months... All the back and forth between my mom. All the reliving of the divorce.... I really don't know what to do... I can't believe that my dad would just say that he won't be at my wedding if this guy is there. That is so unfair to me.....

I am so so so sorry your parents are doing this to you!!!!



Maybe you can write them each a letter expressing how you are feeling about being put in the middle of their animosity and that your wedding is supposed to be a happy time to celebrate the beginning of a lifetime of love between you and FH, and can they please put aside their bitter feelings for a few important hours for your sake?

Feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow, I don't know what to say or give you any advice....I am so very sorry you are going through this.......Your dad has to put things aside for your day and make you happy!

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Posted by springsandra

I am so so so sorry your parents are doing this to you!!!!



Maybe you can write them each a letter expressing how you are feeling about being put in the middle of their animosity and that your wedding is supposed to be a happy time to celebrate the beginning of a lifetime of love between you and FH, and can they please put aside their bitter feelings for a few important hours for your sake?

Feel better!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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I agree... when it is in print and from the heart, they may seriously think about their actions. Right now they are upset and being a bit selfish, but at least they are honest. If you don't get the response you want though, I would turn the tables I know... but to be honest, its not fair what they are doing to you. I would tell them they make you want to elope and exclude them from any festivities and that their actions are bringing up feelings from their divorce which was a very difficult time and reliving it now before your wedding is a bit insensitive of them.

Either way...I hope it works out for you. I am so sorry their feelings are so raw still.

I am so sorry.

As a future Step Mother, I sometimes don;t get why parents don't just try to be civil for the kids.

We do. The kids are happier for it.

There are something we don;t like and I am SURE there are some things his ex hates but we make it work for the kids' sake.

My advice: Get them together, cry in front of them, let them know what this is doing to YOU. That it is SELFISH to make your wedding about them.

commiunicate.

apprently, they can't.

Ugh I'm so sorry you're going through this. I was afraid similar things were going to happen with my parents, but luckily, they've been civil.

You need to sit them each down and explain that you appreciate all of their help, but that they need to stop the childness for you.

I told my parents in the very beginning that I didn't care who was paying - if they pissed me off, they weren't coming or they would be going home.

Thank you, everyone. I talked with my sister and she talked to my dad about it (I haven't yet spoken to my mom since I don't want to start that just yet when I'm this upset)... My sister actually suggested writing them letters, too.

We'll see what happens. In the meantime, thank you for the and the advice. I appreciate it all....

My advice: Get them together, cry in front of them, let them know what this is doing to YOU. That it is SELFISH to make your wedding about them.

commiunicate.

apprently, they can't.

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i kinda agree with this.i dont remember what i already told you but in the beginning i had MANY talks with my parents about budget and they decided to split it down the middle. my parents have pretty much worked everything out but it was HARD and they still keep being petty- my dad claims he doesnt know some of the ppl on my mom's list and so he should be able to add more people and she should take them off. blah blah. it takes a lot of me reminding them that its MY wedding and not an opportunity to get back at each other to bring them back to earth. GL

im soo sorry ure going thru this.
u should definitely sit down with them (seperately since it doesnt seem like thet get along) and tell them to grow up and handle the wedding like adults! and to be happy and supportive instead of upsetting u. this should be a happy time in our lives. u should definitely enjoy it without this unnecessary bs they're throwin ur way.