Major vent- FH & IL probs

I haven't been on in a while, lots going on. Not much of it good. FH and his family are really getting on my nerves. Plans that I made last year that FH agreed with at the time are now being changed b/c of his family and he caves eacha nd every time!!!! First it was the rehearsal dinner, then the bachelor party, honeymoon and now where he will be getting ready in the morning. What I want and have planned for a year and have VERY VALID reasons for doing it a certain way are now being thrown out the window to appease his family. What about me and my feelings??? We are having a morning wedding. Guys need to be at the church 45 minutes away before 10:15 AM. Photographer is meeting them at 9 am and FH and FBIL are ALWAYS late. Yet FBIL decided to have the bachelor party on friday night before the wedding. Something both FH and I agreed a year ago was a stupid idea. But FBIL is planning it so FH believes he has NO say in it whatsoever. And I should just trust them to be on time. The fact that they have never been on time before should factor in. FBIL was late for his sisters wedding in May!!!! So now the night before I am going to be all stressed out. I don't mind him having a bachelor party. I just don't want it the night before our morning wedding.
The latest decision is that the night before he will be staying at his parents house and will get ready there. All fine except last year his father decided to invite the entire family OOTers to stay at the house. A total of 12 people in a house with 2 bathrooms and again it's a morning wedding and his entire family has the belief that under an hour late means you are on time. They live 45 minutes away from the church and need to be there by 11:15. So last year we both decided that he would either stay at a hotel or at our new house if we had one by then. Last night that was changed. Because mommy wants to see him in the morning. If she wants to see him so badly why can't she get ready early and go to the hotel where he cn get ready without hte chaos of 12 additional people in the house????????

This is just so frustrating. I have been having nothing but problems since May 17 with him and his family. BTW they have not offered any help AT ALL with this wedding. All I have gotten from them is stress and insults.

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Posted by Augustbride08

I haven't been on in a while, lots going on. Not much of it good. FH and his family are really getting on my nerves. Plans that I made last year that FH agreed with at the time are now being changed b/c of his family and he caves eacha nd every time!!!! First it was the rehearsal dinner, then the bachelor party, honeymoon and now where he will be getting ready in the morning. What I want and have planned for a year and have VERY VALID reasons for doing it a certain way are now being thrown out the window to appease his family. What about me and my feelings??? We are having a morning wedding. Guys need to be at the church 45 minutes away before 10:15 AM. Photographer is meeting them at 9 am and FH and FBIL are ALWAYS late. Yet FBIL decided to have the bachelor party on friday night before the wedding. Something both FH and I agreed a year ago was a stupid idea. But FBIL is planning it so FH believes he has NO say in it whatsoever. And I should just trust them to be on time. The fact that they have never been on time before should factor in. FBIL was late for his sisters wedding in May!!!! So now the night before I am going to be all stressed out. I don't mind him having a bachelor party. I just don't want it the night before our morning wedding.
The latest decision is that the night before he will be staying at his parents house and will get ready there. All fine except last year his father decided to invite the entire family OOTers to stay at the house. A total of 12 people in a house with 2 bathrooms and again it's a morning wedding and his entire family has the belief that under an hour late means you are on time. They live 45 minutes away from the church and need to be there by 11:15. So last year we both decided that he would either stay at a hotel or at our new house if we had one by then. Last night that was changed. Because mommy wants to see him in the morning. If she wants to see him so badly why can't she get ready early and go to the hotel where he cn get ready without hte chaos of 12 additional people in the house????????

This is just so frustrating. I have been having nothing but problems since May 17 with him and his family. BTW they have not offered any help AT ALL with this wedding. All I have gotten from them is stress and insults.

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I hate the idea of the bach party the night before a morning wedding a nd can totally understand why this would upset you I think you and FH need to have a nice long chat....

So sorry, has he tried suggesting to his mom to come and meet him at the hotel to help him get ready?

you definitely need to sit him down and talk, the thing is he doesn't want to hurt his family's feelings... but he's hurting yours.

You are the one he is dedicating the rest of his life to.. this day belongs to you and fh.. not his mom!

I think you definitely need to change the bachelor party....You don't want FH hungover for pictures and YOUR wedding! That would really upset me. I hope it works out, hang in there!

I would kill FH if he was having his bach party the night before our wedding. Why would he even want it that night. Doesnt he want to not be hung over at the wedding? You definitely need to have a long talk with him.

My Fh is also late to everything, so i decided to have to limo pick him up before it picks me up. This way i know he will try to be ontime.

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Posted by Augustbride08

I have told him that numerous times. That his actions are inconsiderate of my feelings. These are only the latest examples. This behavior has been going on for some time now. Each time he says he will take my feelings into consideration and that he does care about me but that only lasts until the next decision is questioned or the next task needs to be done. I am getting really tired of being sacrificed at each and every turn. Each time I come up with a compromise solution but it's not good enough. It has to be their way.

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I think you are going to have to stand your ground with him and his family...meaning DO NOT CAVE IN! People like that only respond to people who they know will stand up to them.

FH and his family behaving this way is just an indication of what it will be like after marraige and when you have children. Stand up to them now......