Marriage
These are really cute...
MARRIAGE
'You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.'
-W.W. Fenwick
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
The other women replied, 'Yes I am, I married the wrong man.'
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' She replied, 'Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband
wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, 'I've found a man just like father!' Her mother replied, 'So what do you want from me, sympathy?'
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
finished.
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?' The father replied,
'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
Young son: Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.'
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
During a heated spat over finances the husband said, 'Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid.' The wife, fuming, shot back, 'Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener.'
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
MARRIAGE
'You have two choices in life: you can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.'
-W.W. Fenwick
Getting married is very much like going to a restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and then when you see what the other person has, you wish you had ordered that.
At the cocktail party, one woman said to another,
'Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?'
The other women replied, 'Yes I am, I married the wrong man.'
After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, 'You know, I was a fool when I married you.' She replied, 'Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice.'
A lady inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Husband
wanted'. Next day she received a hundred letters.
They all said the same thing: 'You can have mine.'
The bride, upon getting engaged, went to her mother and said, 'I've found a man just like father!' Her mother replied, 'So what do you want from me, sympathy?'
When a woman steals your husband, there is no better revenge than to let her keep him.
Man is incomplete until he is married. Then he is
finished.
A little boy asked his father, 'Daddy, how much
does it cost to get married?' The father replied,
'I don't know son, I'm still paying.'
Young son: Is it true Dad that in some parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
Then there was a man who said, 'I never knew what real happiness was until I got married; by then it was too late.'
Marriage is the triumph of imagination over intelligence. A second marriage is the triumph of hope over experience.
If you want your spouse to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
During a heated spat over finances the husband said, 'Well, if you'd learn to cook and were willing to clean this place, we could fire the maid.' The wife, fuming, shot back, 'Oh yeah??? Well, if you'd learn how to make love, we could fire the chauffeur and the gardener.'
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once.
Words to live by: Do not argue with a spouse who is packing your parachute.
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.
