Yesterday we were out with my mom, Dh, his aunt, uncle and 10yr old cousin. we somehow got on the topic of beign gay and my dh brought up that he has red that it is not genetic but sociologcal. I have two questions.
1- what do you think its is genetic or sociological?
and
2- My mom said later on that maybe it should not have been a topic for a 10 yr old but my dh says his aunt is very open wiht the kids and tells them everyting ( i mean in a kid way but they talk about sex and all that stuff)
Thoughts?
june262004
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Kids know a lot more then we think. They do talk in school. I think its genetic but who cares as long as they are in love
Shorty McBride
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I really don't have much to say about #1, because I simply don't know...
but I think it's great that his aunt is very open with her children - my parents were/are very closed-minded people, and I got a lot of information/experience from outside sources growing up...I wish my parents would've helped with that a little.
Jen_n_Dale
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My uncle was gay. (he has since passed away so that is why I say was) He knew he was gay since he can remember. But growing up back in the 50's and 60's you couldn't say anything. When he was in college his room was torched because they suspected he might be gay and moved to another country to get away. He had moved back to the states and lived in San Francisco with his significant other until he died. They were together for over 20 years.
My mom told me when I was 5 years old my uncle was gay. I never treated him any different because we were taught at such a young age.
newnybride2be
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Re: Maybe a bit controversial but please read...
I would think that being gay would be as natural as heterosexual couples. I mean I am sure there are some cases out there wheer its psychological, but I think for some people its just natural.
I totally think that its ok, if parents would talk about such topics with their children. I totally agree that they definitely do know more than we all think. Such controversial topics are in the media all the time, why shouldn't children be allowed to know what is going on in the world. I personally dont think there is anything wrong with homosexuality therefore I would see no reason why I wouldnt discuss it with my children.
danigirl0
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1...i absolutely believe that 'being gay' is genetic. i do however think that people experiment sometimes as a social thing.
2...i see nothing woring with discussing this with children. but i also know that different people will discuss different things/or not discuss it at all, based on religion/morals/etc. i think we hold way too much back from children. they can handle much more than many people think if you go about it an open and informative way.
great question btw ( :
lolita4life
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#1.... yes, i COMPLETELY feel it is genetic... or something you are just born with.
#2... eh, kids are smarter these days and he probably has heard worse stuff in school. i think its important to teach them early on about it. I taught my little sister all about it very very early on. i dont know if the younger ones know or not though.... (my younger siblings) she knew about my 'girlfriend'.
eta: i agree... some peopel do just 'experiment' and this doesnt mean they are gay.
beautyq115
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Definetely think its genetic
xjulietx
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I think it is a way you are born. If it wasn't, people would be able to turn it off and on.
I also think children should know early on about gay family members. My mom has a gay cousin who I never knew was gay because my parents didn't talk about it. I wish I had known earlier in life so I could have observed more and acknowledged his relationship (which he is still in)
Jax430
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1. I believe it is genetic.
2. I was sheltered from a lot as a kid. I think that homosexuality should be discussed openly with kids because it is a fact of life. It shouldn't be hidden like it's something bad or wrong.
February05
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#1. i dont know if its something that should be considered genetic OR socialized. I dont think that women are genetically predetermined to like Tall guys, or certain personality attributes... its who you meet and who youre attracted to, on an individual basis. I also dont think its easy to say that its 'social' because if it were just a social thing, then like someone else said, you'd just turn it off (if you felt ostacized). i think its as simple as 'You're just attracted to who you're attracted to'. i feel like saying that its either one is like saying its a 'condition' and therefor needs to have an origination. No one ever questions why heterosexuals are what they are
#2. my sister is gay. she had a girlfriend when she was 14. Seriously, when i was 14, i didnt even know you were *allowed* to like people of the same sex. My parents had friends that were gay, and they spoke about it in front of just like they would about their other friends... never implying that there was anything wrong with it. (still, i thought you had to be an adult to be gay... probably more so b/c its not anything that, at that point, i had seen in my friends, so i thought it was just an adult thiing) Anyway, kids know alot more these days then we did growing up... and i'm only 24, its not like i'm telling you this from my rocking chair I think its important to tell kids the TRUTH early on. theyre going to figure it out eventually, and its better to squash the myths before they even hear them. Now, if they were talking about it as if it were a bad thing... then i think thats wrong no matter How old anyone is. But i dont think it was wrong for them to talk about it in front of a child.... theyre know alot more stuff than we give them credit for sometimes
heidla
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1. I believe that it is genetic. To be honest most of my friends are gay and they have always known that they were.
2. I think that people should be more open with their children. People tend to fear what they don't understand. By educating your children you are opening their minds and helping to prepare them for the outside world.
Goldi1021
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Again people need to be very careful with words and terminology. 'GENETICS' implies that there is a predisposition or chromosomal link to something. That is very different from being born with something. Not all things are genetic or chromosomal. Sometimes you are born with something and there is no logical explanation for it. There has yet to be proof that homosexuality is found in genes or chromosomes
I, for one, believe that homosexuality is not environmental. I think you are born one way and it may manifest itself immediately or later in life. Some homosexuals know right away and have NO problems sharing it with the world. Others may grow up thinking that society wants men with women and vice versa so they go for the opposite sex as a conditioned response to society. They have families and live a heterosexual life for years. After time goes by and they become more comfortable with themselves as individuals, they 'come out.'
marymoon
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I have to agree with Goldi, I think it's tricky to say 'genetic'... I may ahve inherited my short temper from my mother, but that doens't mean there's a gene for it. We know so little about how things beyond physical traits are passed on that it's really hard to say. Also if it were 'genetic' that brings up a lot of questions about heredity, and wouldn't that mean gay people would eventually die out b/c they don't ordinarily procreate, etc, etc... but anyway, if what we mean by genetic is that it's something you're born with..I really believe it is.
First of all, I don't think anyone CHOOSES to be gay. Why would you choose to be something that makes your life 1000X times more difficult and causes you to be mocked and ridiculed and told you're going to hell. Most of the people I know who are gay have had long STRUGGLES with it, and I know that if they had a choiuce, some of them would have chosen otherwise. i know someone who was married for MANY years and really did love his wife, but he eventually had to come out and be who he was, which was a homosexual.
However the other side to this coin is that I also know several people who are gay who have signs of environmental factors. A lot of the people I know who are homosexual have had really severa depression or other mental things. This is most likely a result of the pressure and issues that being homosexual brings up, but it's interesting to note. Also, I know people who were treated like girls as children, dressed as girls, and encouraged to act girly by their parents (who had their own problems, obvously) and now they are gay. I don't know if any conclusion cna be drawn from that or if its a coincidence, but it's something to think about.
and as for #2, I think it's fine to talk with childen about this stuff as far as they udnerstand it from a very early age. it'll teach them tolerance for later in life.
lolita4life
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yeah, i dont know if i would exaclt ysay 'gentics' but i do believe you are born the way you are.
for example.... when i was younger, i never thought i was 'gay' (i did at 14), but i just always knew that i didnt like boys and i thought i was weird or something was wrong with me b/c i thought i should be liking them and i just didnt.
now, to be honest, DH is the ONLY man i have ever been attracted to. I dont know if you would call me gay, straight, bi, whatever.... i fell in love with HIM not his gender.
i just am what i am. i call myself 'bi' for those who need to catagorize things, but to me i honeslt ydont like to label myself.
it was never a choice to 'like girls' its just the way i turned out.
so i truly do not feel it is enviormental. i know most ppl on here are straight, so its not an easy thing to comprehend. i am very open about my sexuality b/c i dont feel i should be ashamed of the way i am. i cant help it. just like i cant help i have brown eyes, and am 5'1'. its just the way it is.
i hope this maybe helps a teeny bit to anyone that can not understand it.
marymoon
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I understand completely. I have a LOT of firneds who just feel like they love who they love, regardless of gender. Personally while I can apprecaite it when girls are attractive, etc, I feel a strong attraction ONLY to men, I feel drawn to men, and I don't feel drawn to women at all. But I completely understand and respect that. Love is love. It goes beyond race, religion, phsyical characteristics, and even gender sometimes.
lolita4life
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lol i 'came out' when i was 14..... then when i was 17 i fell in love with DH and my mom was like 'but you're GAY!' i just remember saying 'guess im not!'
RedHead
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Re: Maybe a bit controversial but please read...
1. Yes i do believe it is some sort of genetic thing. I know this isn't going to sound PC but if there wasn't some sort of genetic trait involved to it...For an example...why do some of the butch lesbians look alike? I find that soooo weird sometimes ...But to be honest, imo i can't believe it is a social thing...not being gay. Why would someone WANT to be gay? It isn't a desireable lifestyle imo. They very much discriminated against and the dangers of it......i just can't see someone WANTING or socializing Gay. I believe that people who do not know right away are either in denial or trying to supress their natural feelings.
As far as being bi-sexual (and i know i am going to get flamed) but i believe that it is social, especially woman. I think being curious is one thing, being bi-sexual is a choice. But that is MY OPINION
2. YES i thinkt hat talking about this in front of a 10 year old isn't the right thing...I do not care if a family is open about topics...I still find it inappropriate.
janwinterbridejoy
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Re: Maybe a bit controversial but please read...
Posted by danigirl0
1...i absolutely believe that 'being gay' is genetic. i do however think that people experiment sometimes as a social thing.
2...i see nothing woring with discussing this with children. but i also know that different people will discuss different things/or not discuss it at all, based on religion/morals/etc. i think we hold way too much back from children. they can handle much more than many people think if you go about it an open and informative way.
great question btw ( :
i agree 100 percent
janwinterbridejoy
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my aunt is a lesbian and we are very close she told me that she was gay when i was about 10 years old although i already knew something was different about her and heard people using the word gay around her. i thought it was great that she took the time to sit me down and explain everything to me and she also explained what aids was which was still sort of new and so scarey because people were thinking all kinds of craziness about it back then like only gays can get or give it to you etc.. it was one of the best talks i ever had and will never forget it because i think it was the first time i started feeling like an adult.
