Maybe I am just feeling insecure, but....

does anyone else ever wonder why your FH wants to marry you? I feel like I am such a cranky meanie to him sometimes, ok, a lot of times lately, and I can't imagine anyone actually WANTING to marry someone like that. I don't know, I'm not allowed to talk to him about it because he says it's insulting to him that I would even think that he wouldn't want to marry me. Maybe I am just feeling the absence of his mushiness. He used to be all mushy and kissy and stuff and since we moved in together, it's just more comfy type stuff. I think I was just expecting him to be MISERABLE without me in MA and to be kissing my booty a little more while he was here in NY, and he's not. He's a poop.

Most men are 'poops'. They don't get that sometimes they have to over do it to make us feel better and like we are needed. But we love them anyway- and you are feeling NORMAL

when we booked our date with the church the deacon asked FI why do you want to marry her and he said because everyday is a new adventure. I always have a smile on no matter the situation and when I walk into a room I brighten it up.

So I know he wants to marry me because I make his day and life a whole light brighter

I ask him all the time. And I love when he tells me all the reasons why. It make me feel all warm inside and I fall even deeper in love with him.

See, that's the thing, he refuses to tell me because he feels like I am saying something mean about him by asking. He's so sensitive sometimes. I don't know, that's what I mean, he's not mushy, even a little anymore, he won't even tell me WHY he wants to marry me (Don't get me wrong, he HAS told me, and I KNOW why, but sometimes it's just nice to hear it!)

Sometimes he asks me that question - and wonders why I want to marry him and it breaks my heart, so I can imagine how your FH feels. I'm not all that touchy or mushy, but he is...and I think sometimes he feels left out. I try to be more emotional, but it's hard for me! I just think it's obvious why I want to marry him because I see all of the wonderful things in him - that I don't feel the need to speak them daily. But I think I should. I guess that's something a lot of us can work on!

I'm sure he has wonderful reasons for wanting to marry you!

Why wouldn't he want to marry you? Who else would put up with his mom?

Tis true! Tis true!

I don't know, I think that he is REALLY sensitive, but has a hard time talking about his emotions, and I am very sarcastic, but I can talk about how I feel until the cows come home. I mean, he's never been 'allowed' to talk about his feelings with his family, and I think he has a hard time, but we've talked about this and he says he'll try, but then nothing happens. And honestly, do I really want him to say things just because I want him to or because HE wants to? I don't know. I think I'm overly emotional tonight.

I know I can't MAKE him how I want him, and the way he is is not bad at all, infact, I think he balances out how emotional I can be, but SOME words of what goes on in his head would be nice. I think that sometimes I miss his ways of telling how he feels too because it's not blaring in my face saying, 'THIS IS WHY I LOVE YOU', and I think it frustrates him that I don't pick up on those things. Geez, I'm totally thinking about this too much. In the end, why does it matter why he loves me? Right? I mean, we know it's not for money! No, but I guess at this point, after almost three years, I shouldn't be second guessing him. I think I am just amazed sometimes that someone ACTUALLY wants to marry me. After all those years of dating guys who mistreated me, it's like I don't know what to do with the one who treats me wonderfully.

And you are soo deserving

Seriously, if I didn't know any better, I would think I was pmsing, yet that would make my emotions a week late!

I get the exact same way...PMS or no PMS

I know all men arent alike..but if it helps..my fiance was very mushy in the beginning..especially when we first moved intogether..but then its a fact of life and very normal to grow comfortable..I think it means that you are out of that lust stage and into real life..now I get a mushy guy now and then..and thats great with me because I am a bit crabby lately and if he was too mushy Id kill him!! haha Please dont stress about it..I went through the same thing and I spoke to lots of people who have been married along time and its just normal..he loves you in acomfortable way and thats great!! There was even an article in old magazine of mine..called true love and it explained about getting comfortable..its healthy....it also may be your nerves..planning a wedding is stressful..and you may find yourself very emotional..I know I am doing that..I cry at the drop of a hat and I over analyze everything!! There is a book I read, called what noone tells the bride and its all about what happens after the honeymoon, when reality sets in..It was great to read because it calmed my nerves and let me know that everything I was feeling was normal. Perhaps that is what you are going through..if you live together..that may be whats going on. But hnag in there...your fiance is marrying you for a reason..he obvioulsy knows you and doesnt mind if you are a bit crabby now and then..what woman isnt? cheer up!!!

Thank you! I will have to read that book

I bought it Barnes and Nobles...its scary what happens when things get comfortable. But from everything I know being in the comfortable stage is where we want to be..you have no idea how many conversations I have had with married people about this..Im a grad student for family therapy..so I get good advice free too and from what I know its all normal..guys get way more comfortable quicker and then we wonder what happened..its so strange. I used to wonder what was worng if he watched tv downstairs and I was watching a different show upstairs..I thought it meant something was wrong..I just didnt get it that its just normal.I thought he should still want to be sitting next to me at all hours of the day, telling me how great I was! hahah He used to do that....he still does..just not every minute like in the beginning...please dont worry about this..its sounds like you guys are right on track with your relaionship!!

Ok, I just wanted to log on to say that JT got home about an hour ago and he must have been reading my mind because he's been a big mush-ball! I feel MUCH better now! Thanks for listening to my craziness girls!

I wonder that sometimes...only b/c we wanted to move to the west coast...but I pretty much pushed san diego...we don't know anyone here...(except for a friend of a friend) and I wonder why he would be OK leaving all of his friends in NY, so we could move here together...

he says to me...that I had to do the same thing...and that we are enough...we always have a good time...and can pretty much always laugh at our fights...

rachael your not the only one..mike has been very grumpy at me recenly.. at night i want to be brought home and he then puts a wash on and says he cant leave till its done, then he falls asleep and is VERY grumpy when i wake him up saying ' the wash is done,its past when i want to be home' then he takes another half hour before he brings me home and is upset that it woke him up...
temporary problem since when were married we'll have a place together but still...