I just spoke to the priest that my hall recommended and was a little taken aback. He told me that since he's paid by Coral House and not thru his private practice, he would not meet us beforehand?? He sounded nice enough and it's a traditional Catholic ceremony, but I thought that was sort of odd to not even meet the person who's going to marry you til the morning of your wedding? I dunno... no good, right?
heatherfaith
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Re: Meeting officiant beforehand?
i wouldn't like that. I would at least want to meet.
JohnnysGirl350
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I wouldn't like that either. He wasn't willing to meet you at all?
sr081906
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I would not like that. We are not using a 'one fit one' ceremony. We like somehow 'customized' to us and what we believe in.
The reverend showed us his 'standard' ceremony. We are slighly adapting from his.
jada2destiny
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I wouldn't feel to comfortable with that. I mean, you do want the person marrying you to put some kind of thought and personalization into your ceremony. maybe he has a seperate fee for a counceling session
kmkelly
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My officiant spent an hour with us discussing what sort of ceremony we wanted, how religious or not, what we would incorporate and what we would not. He got to know us a bit and suggested some appropriate readings which were right on the money. I actually cried when he read them, that's how right on they were. He was wonderful.
I would not have someone marry us that we did not meet before hand.
donegal419
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I've also never heard of a priest accepting money to marry couples, usually it goes to the Church, not them personally...... you mgiht want to check further that this guy is legit... and that your marriage will be valid in the eyes of the Catholic Church, if that's what you want. If not, then I'm sure it's fine....but most priests will not celebrate the sacrament of marriage outside a physical church. There are some exceptions (interfaith marriages being one), but they are rare.
scappy123
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I dont know if i would feel comfortable having someone perform my ceremony that has never even met me. I havent met any officiants yet, but most of them i have looked into meet with you beforehand to get to know you a little....
MJDoc12
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omg---i would NOT be happy with that at all. i would find another priest. your officiant should personalize your ceremony for you guys---and meet you ahead of time to get a feel for you. the fact that this priest doesn't want that--that's a big no-no in my book.
and remember--a 'traditional Catholic' ceremony that is performed in a hall is NOT recognized as an offically recognized Catholic ceremony. a true Catholic ceremony must be performed by a priest within the confines of the Catholic church. so don't think you *have* to go with the priest that hall recommends--you can find your own!
jenheartsrob
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No, we are of course not going to go with him. I just thought it was very very odd thing to say.
I know it won't be recognized in the eyes of the church, but that's ok. it's important to my family and us to have the ceremony be Catholic.
We're talking to Fr. Tom McCormick, and Fr. Brennan and possibly Fr. Jim O'Brien (if I can ever get in touch with him?) and they all seem very nice and sweet.
donegal419
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St. Christopher's Church is up the road (literally like 2 seconds from the Coral House)... perhaps you could get married there if it's important to you to have a Catholic ceremony. IT's my home church and I'm getting married there... perhaps you could call there and see????
FYI.... I almost booked the Coral House for my wedding... I hope you have a great time! the food was great and our tasting and they were really, really nice!
jenheartsrob
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Aw Karen, that's nice to hear! I don't hear much about Coral House on here, but I love it and am happy with our choice
Our situation's sort of complicated, so we can't get married IN the church (FH didn't receive all the sacraments, his dad is Jewish, and he lives in Maryland which would prevent us from doing pre-cana, etc.), but I did leave a message for St Christopher's a while ago and didnt hear back yet
klslk
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Re: Meeting officiant beforehand?
That sounds a little odd... we've met with ours twice already - easily for an hour each time and we've gone over our ceremony at great length - exchanging emails several times getting all of the details down. We have even gone over the program.
BlueTulip
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Re: Meeting officiant beforehand?
We are using Father Tom McCormick and so far, he has been really nice. When we met him the first time, we sat down for about an hour. We are meeting him again on Friday to go over the actually ceremony details, select readings, etc. He isn't coming to our rehearsal (I don't think he typically does) but as long as we have the final version of our ceremony, etc I think we'll be fine.
I definitely think it is weird that your officiant wouldn't want to meet with you ahead of time.
103005FallBride
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Posted by BlueTulip
We are using Father Tom McCormick and so far, he has been really nice. When we met him the first time, we sat down for about an hour. We are meeting him again on Friday to go over the actually ceremony details, select readings, etc. He isn't coming to our rehearsal (I don't think he typically does) but as long as we have the final version of our ceremony, etc I think we'll be fine.
I definitely think it is weird that your officiant wouldn't want to meet with you ahead of time.
Father Tom is the BEST!
donegal419
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Hi Jen!!! I am glad you're happy with the Coral House... :)
As far as I know, as long as your FH was baptized, you should have no problem getting married in the church. I don't think there is a rule anywhere saying that you have to have been confirmed, etc. They might recommend that he get confirmed (I am assuming that's the one he's missing ;)) or go through RCIA, but that is not necessary, and you could always do that after the wedding if he wanted to. It doesn't matter that his father is Jewish. ALSO, you can do PreCana where ever you want. you don't have to do it AT the church you're getting married in. the diocese offers weekend options, perhaps when he's up here one weekend, you can bang it out then. Also, try calling st. Christopher's again. I called a few times and even sent the priest a letter...but they get so busy... I actually cornered him after Mass one day and set up our time then. ASk for Fr. Brian he is soooo nice!!! He is going to be marrying us (as well as FH's friend who is a priest). Do you live in Baldwin???
oakslady
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i think that sounds odd - we met with our officient several times and talked to her at least a dozen times before the wedding - i wouldnt like not meeting him at all
