FH and I have been living together for about 6 months now. I never knew how much of a pig he is. I am NOT a clean freak , however I know when enough is enough. HE DOESN'T ! We came home tonight from registering and I nearly flipped my lid. The sink was full of dishes and the garbage bag had fell in the can and he just put garbage on top. This is rediculous. If he thinks that I am going to take the role of his Mom and clean after him he has a wake up call especially after the wedding. There is NO maid service here. Is anyone else having a problem like this? I have alot of friends that are recently married and they say BUCKLE UP !! Mind you I have been at work all day and he was OFF .
lillian771
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
THANK you for posting this!!! I don't live w/ FH yet, but i have my own place and he is over a lot. Last week he opened up a new toothbrush and just threw the package on the floor!!!! This really, really pissed me off. We ended up having a pretty big fight over it because i feel like he is so messy and its just rude! I'm scared of what will happen once we're married, but i also know he's so good in so many other ways that i guess i have to look past some things. but when is enough enough?
Julestrd
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
My FH is much like yours. It is so funny now though he knows I will get so pissed if I wake up in the morning and the dishes aren't done (he usually stays up later than I) and now (since I am away from our Apt) when he knows I am on my way home he will call me right before I get home and he says 'Ok I haven't had time to clean the house just so you know you are walking into a mess, but I promise I will take care of it!! ' TRAINED HIM BABY!!!
wc0143
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I am overly neat (think Monica/Friends) and FH ... could he BE anymore sloppy?
Julestrd
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Posted by wc0143
I am overly neat (think Monica/Friends) and FH ... could he BE anymore sloppy?
september2004
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FH yells at ME for not making the bed
marymoon
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They're terrible! Okay, I'm not a neat freak at all..I'm actually on the messy side...but eww... I'm on the phone with FH and he goes ot ahve a bowl of soup and he's like 'hold on I have to go washa spoon'. Okay! Umm..he lives alone and he has a FULL flatware set..Like, how long has it been since he washed dishes? I shudder to think!
AUG21-04
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They do things like go to the bathroom and splash the seat. Do you think he would wipe it NOPE. I went and bought the clorox wipes and when he does that Igo right in there behind him and call him back and ask him did he forget something. He gets the wipes and cleans it. He goes w/ me to the laundrymat and he had no idea how to open the machine. I say lord help me. He takes a million years to fold a shirt and a sheet FORGET IT . There is a bag of clean work shirts in the room now for like 2 weeks he just picks from it I will NOT put them away. We work for the same comp. So some of our shirts are the same. I don't have to wear a uniform every day, but sometimes I do. When I went to get a shirt ALL MINE and HIS are dirty. How can that be when I didn't wear any? I have like 10 new ones and like 10-12 old ones.
marymoon
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
URGH! Wipte the toilet seat? I cnalt even get him to put ti down! He's learning though. When I spend the night at his place I make him get out of bed to put it back down for me. I know...I'm a princess..but he's GOT to learn!
Julestrd
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oh let me just add this little story to what you just said about the laundry. We do laundry together and he had his friend over and I said ok I will wait till his friend leaves. So after he leaves I say come help me fold the laundry he says no you got it. I said OH NO!!! I made a nice little pile for all his clothes on his side of the bed and he picked from them all week and when his dirty and clean got mixed he had to wash it ALL
samsbride
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
You have to nip it in the bud. don't tolerate it for one second.
The real problem is going to come from you accepting responsibility for everything and then giving him tasks. That is not the way it works. You are BOTH responsible for maintaining the house (even if you have specific areas of responsibility)
I've been there and it is a constant battle. My FH likes to vaccuum but I have to remind him every day to put dirty clothes in the hamper (he puts them back in his closet and then has to fish for them on laundry day) When he forgets to give me something and ten minutes after laundry is done he finds it - it has to wait until next week (we don't have machines in our apt) In case you think we aren't equal on this one - he does make the bed every day and I, in turn, take care of most of the laundry.
My favorite thing he does is never open mail and when he does - he makes a pile with everything - even junk mail. Even worse than the junk mail is that he saves the torn up envelopes from everything. What the heck do you need a torn up envelope for? It looks ridiculous.
steph4777
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UGHH!!! I am so glad to see this post.... When we first moved in together the deal was that when one cooked the other would wash the dishes. Guess who does all the cookin ....and umm washing.. ME! I get so frustrated reminding him to wash them, I end up doing it myself.
I got so annoyed with him the other day that I snapped and told him...'Why do I have to remind or ask you to do certain things? When you take a dump, no one has you remind you to wipe your a$$. You just do it!' (I know it was crass and mean...couldn't help it)
They always say they don't want you to mother them, but they don't give you a choice. I hate nagging and asking him to do things over and over again.
Thanks for letting me vent
nov.bride
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
I have been dealing w/ this for years w/ him- us livin' in sin and came up with this:
They think we are crazy cleaning all the time but they REALLY donot see the things that we do or bother to notice. I hired someome to clean my house 1 time a month. She bleaches all of my bathroom tiles tib tiles and walls. Cleans all of my moldings etc. Its as if she does a spring cleaning one time per month. ( I just maintain it) Vacuum 2x per week, scrub tub 1x a week, etc. Once the lady comes, I ask him if he can notice the difference and he tells me that it looks the same as the day before. Ever since we got her- it takes the edge off. Before her, I spent sooooooo much time playing cathchup - I literally felt I had no time for anything else and was constantly cleaning. They are crazy but clueless!!!!!!!
razz1031
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After living with my FH for so long, I guess I'm just used to his messiness. I leave for work before him. When I come home, I have to make the bed...at 5-6pm. I can't stand an unmade bed. The dishes will not get done unless I do them or I ask him to do them. He leaves his dirty clothes on the floor on his side of the bed, sneakers in the living room, hair gel and shaving cream on the bathroom sink instead of putting them away in the cabinet... sigh... I've bitched and complained so many times, I'm tired of hearing myself. I guess if you want something done, do it yourself. He's in charge of cleaning the house every other Saturday though because I have to work on Saturdays. He also helps me with the laundry. He's also 'potty trained' meaning that he always puts the seat down! I guess I'll keep him...
wc0143
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I can't get FH to put the seat UP!!! I'm so glad we have two bathrroms & he rarely uses MINE (the MB).
cocoa
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this is too funny! fh's clothes just don't seem to make it to the hamper. ever! and then when he does laundry, he doens't put it away so then there are clean clothes mixed with dirty clothes on the floor and he flips b/c he doesn't know which is which and so then i step in and wash everything and put it all away and he feels guilty! but he tries! i swear. it just doesn't come naturally to him. i tell him it takes effort 15-20 minutes everyday to stay organized. throw out mail or sort it, put clothes in the hamper, just wipe down spills, it will be done! oh yes, he will learn!
wc0143
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WIPE DOWN SPILLS???????? That is beyond FH's comprehension!! Maybe occassionally he'll spread it around with the sponge (which he won't rinse after) ...
DjPiLL
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This is a funny thread. :D
I guess I should consider myself a lucky man. My FW cannot cook a lick... however she is an excellent cleaner. She doesn't even ask me to clean. Its great. She cleans every Friday on her day off. She has been living with me now for four months and my apartment has never been cleaner.
I consider myself a messy guy... but not insane. I am definitely one of those guys that keeps my mail stacked, unopened... yet ill save ripped envelopes. LOL I also leave clothes around... but usually just in the bedroom. I am anal when it comes to leaving dishes in the sink and not taking out the garbage. When it comes to food... i try to keep the apartment clean. I don't need to develop a roach problem or something like that... and at times I actually have to remind the FW about that.
But funny thread nonetheless. I like the idea of leaving the cleaning wips by the toilet. I gotta try that. ;)
AUG21-04
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Re: MEN ARE SOOO MESSY !!!!!!!!!
when I say on the seat I meant that when they put the seat up the rim of the actual bowl. I can't stand to see leftovers all yellow on the toilet. I tell him all the time that his mother doesn't live here. She cleans up after them all the time. ( when he was home but FBIL & FFIL) He likes to drink beer, when he finishes it I happen to be looking for something under the table and I move the case and it is EMPTY AAAGGGHHHHHH !!!!!!!! I got a fish tank for my daughter and I have no idea what happened to it. He has managed to trade it and we ended up with 3 bigger ones with all kind of fish in one. And Paranah's in the other 2. such a big kid.
eogara
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Posted by september2004
FH yells at ME for not making the bed
This is my dream!!! I know I'm a little obsessive over the cleaning but he takes that to mean he doesn't have to do anything. So annoying!!!
ETA: His mom makes it worse by saying to him 'You're a boy, this isn't your thing.' Ahem, excuse me, but when did having a penis affect your eyesight to see when something is dirty???????
