MIL vent

so this is obviously NOT my first christmas with DH. EVERY year, my family does xmas eve and his family does xmas day. my family has done xmas eve for 12 years bc my neice always goes to PA on xmas day to be with her father and his family through new years. it never mattered to DH's family because DH is an only child. it's just him, his parents and grandma and his grandparents.
so this year, same as always, we confirm plans prior to thanksgiving. then ON thanksgiving, my in-laws were at my parents house for dinner and my brother and his wife invite my in-laws over for xmas eve. his mom says she'll have to let them know. whatever.
so the other day DH calls his mom to tell her that i'll make a dessert to bring for xmas. his mom says 'okay, but xmas eve'. DH is like, 'nooo, xmas day'. and his mom says that she switched it to christmas eve. she swears up and down she told us this. DH got into it with her, told her that my family always does xmas eve, she knows this, why would she switch it, etc etc etc. so now they get into a big fight because his mom is always right. always (funny, DH has MANY personlaity traits inherited from this woman ) THANKFULLY, DH was liike 'well then, we won't be there because we have plans with krista's family'.
so now some more background, DH got hurt at work and has been out for a few weeks, with our job - we have unlimited paid sick time, but we can't leave the house except for during a 4 hour pass we get. and they do check up on you. whatever, another vent in and of itself. so DH is only able to go out for 4 hours xmas eve. my brother's house is an hour away, which means after driving there and back, he'll only be able to spend 2 hours at with my family.
so yesterday morning, DH calls me at work and asks me to call his mom, she had called the house for me. he says that she said she wants to explain the misunderstanding.
so i call her. explain the misunderstanding? HA. she wanted to tell me that we could just stop by for a little while on xmas eve, on the way home from my brother's. i was like 'no, because as it is, mike will only have 2 hours there' and i'm thinking 'and i'm not screwing my family even further just because YOU messed up. oh and thanks for getting back to my SIL to tell her you guys won't be coming for the holiday after she was nice enough to extend the invitation'. WHAT IS HER PROBLEM

OMG...this is my drama right now. DH & I are together for 10 years now. For the first 6 of them I spent the eve with his family, then my brother gets married & they have the eve. So DH & i would go to my brother's & then run back to his sister's & then to my mom's on Christmas morning-then back to his parent's for dinner. It is just too much running.

So, because we have always done the eve with his family, we decide to just stay with them on the eve & then go to my brother's at like 3 on the day. MIL has given me such an attitude since I told her this on Wednesday night. It's like she needs us there for everything & wants us for every holiday. Meanwhile we will be spending more time with her on the eve then we will with my family on the day.

You can't win...just stand your ground & don't give in. You are lucky that DH stands up to her-mine really doesn't.

Next year I will be doing one of these days& everyone can run to me-cause i am so tired of the drama

I really don't know what to say, but I'm sending you some happy thoughts!

BTW: This is why DH and I work on the holidays.

'tis the season.

i won't bore you with details, but dh and i had a small fight about something similar this morning.

as stated above: stand your ground. and i'm so happy to hear that dh stood united with you.

i'm sorry to hear that she's giving you this headache at this time of year for no good reason.

i hope everything works out for the two of you in dealing with this.