Military Brides---HELP!

AeroJenn Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:05 PM

Military Brides---HELP!

Is this normal? Have any of you experienced this??

FH is training for the Army for 2 months this summer. He has gone away past summers for a month at a time and I've always been okay. Well now, he's away for 2 months (and in Korea where its very hard to talk to each other b/c of the time difference and cell phone problems). I'm resenting him sooo much. I never thought I would but I'm so mad at him! I feel like he abondons me every summer and now we cant even talk

I feel terrible b/c I know he's missing me too--but I just cant stop being mad at him for putting me thru this.

Am I wrong? Is this normal?

pigs222seal Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:08 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

This is normal....I am in the Army Reserves and it is very stressful during times I have to go away....whether its weekend duty or a month to Africa, its hard on both of us. I notice my DH gets very hostile when I have to go away, he dislikes the military for this, but I explain to him all the time; 'I enlisted before I met you, you married me for who I am.....I'm sorry you feel this way.'

I know how you feel, and DH knows too. Hang in there. Letters are the best thing when you can't phone eachother. Good Luck.

neener1211 Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:11 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

Posted by pigs222seal

This is normal....I am in the Army Reserves and it is very stressful during times I have to go away....whether its weekend duty or a month to Africa, its hard on both of us. I notice my DH gets very hostile when I have to go away, he dislikes the military for this, but I explain to him all the time; 'I enlisted before I met you, you married me for who I am.....I'm sorry you feel this way.'

I know how you feel, and DH knows too. Hang in there. Letters are the best thing when you can't phone eachother. Good Luck.

where are you based out of?

but I agree it is hard not having him around, but it is something that I knew about him beforehand...it is not his fault that he can't talk to you...it is just that sometimes they can't...you'll get through it, just think of how great the reunion will be!!

jessandjimiswedding Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:25 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

it's normal. don't worry. i have a military man too. he leaves me all the time. it sux but just think, i'm sure he'd much rather be with you than over seas. he'll be home soon!

isn't it the best feeling when they come home tho?? look forward to that.

TheBigDay Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:31 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

I guess it is normal, but 1 or 2 months is nothing! Be greatful it is not months to a yr or so, and he is not sitting in the middle of the Middle East in some hostile operation where you dont hear from him AT ALL for a month or so... never mind the infrequency of hearing from him the entire time there!

Dont me mad, enjoy the time you have and then your time to yourself and look fwd to seeing back home!

kase21 Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:36 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

I completely understand. My FH was deployed to Iraq in March, and we're hoping his return is in time for the wedding day.

It's normal to resent the situation or at least i hope so because I HATE that he's away. I tell my FH all the time... I hate this - it's so tough being without you but I have had to make the conscious effort to make sure that I know it's the situation that sux and not him. He's missing you as much as you are missing him... I guarantee it.

The worst part is the feeling guilty over feeling upset. And almost no one gets it (except other military spouses). Even he doesn't always get it because to him it's just the job, it is what it is. You can't vent, you can't just get over it. IT COMPLETELY SUX....

But I agree with neener think about his homecoming... and make plans for that night, weekend, week, whatever.

kase21 Posted: Jul 20, 2006 03:37 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

I almost feel like we should have a Deployed Military Spouse get together, skip the meal and just get drunk!

ETA: if anyone ever want to just vent or chat FM me...

jencee73 Posted: Jul 20, 2006 06:26 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

It is totally normal to feel some kind of resentment. My FH has been in the Army for over 4 years and is currently on his second deployment overseas (1st was Afghanistan, now he's in Iraq). I thank God that he will be home next Thursday. He's been gone for almost a year and was supposed to have ETS in March but was stop/loss. I really resented all the different stories that he was getting about when he would be able to ETS. It was like every week it was a new story. I have to say communication-wise it has been better on this deployment than when he was in Afghanistan. The internet & web cam is a godsend, LOL.

Will you FH have any internet access in Korea?

Its fustrating, I know but if you need to vent, we're here for ya

AeroJenn Posted: Jul 20, 2006 07:51 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

He does have some internet access in korea, but only at random times.
I'm trying not to be negative about it, but its hard...

jenn122397 Posted: Jul 20, 2006 07:55 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

It's soo normal (well I think it is!) I have a military man too. He's in Japan right now for training and I know exactky how you feel. Try not to let it sress you too much! If you need someone to talk to about FM me...I've been with him through two tours in Iraq so I definitely know how u feel.

bluesashbride Posted: Jul 31, 2006 10:51 AM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

I served for 5 years, DH is still in, and even I find it hard to not be upset. I never resent him, but it is hard to cope. He leaves for a year in October and its going to be tough, but we can do it! Just try and stay positive.

klingklang77 Posted: Jul 31, 2006 11:20 AM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

i am not a military spouse, but i have been thru long distance w/o seeing DH. i am going thru it right now and we just got married so it really stinks! i can say your feelings are normal. DH and I fight the most when we are apart .

SoulMates422 Posted: Dec 04, 2006 04:15 PM

Just Venting

I have some comfort in knowing that I am not alone. We are both Marines but my fh is Stationed in Japan and I am here in NYC. It ***** the most when I have to go to vendors alone and I see Brides there with their FH. He came home from Japan for a few days (literally) to check out the hall and florals. Are there any other brides whom had to plan alone? How did you deal?

If not together not at all Posted: Dec 04, 2006 04:25 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

I am currenItly in the NY Army National guard. In may of 2004 i started 18 months of active duty 6 months at ft. dix NJ, 2 months in kuwait, and ten in Iraq.

Being apart in different countries was beyond difficult on both of us. But I will tell you from a soldiers point of view......dont be selfish.

Your FH is doing something honorable and praise worthy. You should remain supportive regardless of your frustration with seperation. Think of the toll it takes on him knowing that you are angry with him and there is nothing he can do about it right now.

Being apart will test your relationship but i did it for 12 months and we are marrying in June. His dedication and loyalty to our relationship while i was away was a deciding factor. So keep that in mind. He needs your support right now.

debi

jellyhead129 Posted: Dec 04, 2006 04:38 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

i know how you feel. my FH is stationed in Kingsville TX. We see each other every 2 months. So i'm here planning a lot of things alone. We make the best of it. Fortunately b/c of the web, we can view almost everything. I know its not the same, but it helps. Aside from that, i get my friends and family to help me make extremetly hard decisions. Good luck.

By way are you guys gonna go on your honeymoon right after your wedding??

SoulMates422 Posted: Dec 04, 2006 05:12 PM

Re: Military Brides---HELP!

He can't put in for leave until January, so I had to book everything in April with the hopes that he will be able to come home. We are hoping that they approve his whole leave request. If they do we will be going on a honeymoon. We pretty much plan for the best and keep our fingers crossed. Maybe my unit will bless me and send me out to japan for an op before April. I agree I think I am so blessed to have him. He'll call me (he has Voice over ip so he has a US number in his room and I can call him anytime) and stay on the phone for hours listening to my ideas. I dont really have any family helping me out. He even wrote the verse for our invitations. Being a dual couple has its pros and cons but I have the advantage of understanding what he goes through. I was told that my face brightens when I talk about him. The best of it all is that he is supportive with us only seeing each other every 5-6 months for 2 weeks at a time. It can only get better right? sorry ladies I dont get a chance to vent too often so I got carried away.