Mini Rant RE: In Laws (LOOOOOOONG)
Let me say first that I really like my in laws. They are good people and I get along well with them most of the time. I am particuarly close to FH's oldest sister.
ANYWAY... onto the rant part.
Last week at dinner, FH's parents were talking about how FMIL's brother wasn't paying for his daughter's wedding because he is so cheap. FH asked if they paid for his sisters' weddings. They acknowledged that they did. So FH - wise *** that he is - said 'Well where is our check? Aren't you paying for ours?' FMIL looked like someone punched her and FFIL started to mutter something about not having the money. FH was kidding and I just gave a laugh and said 'He's joking - of course we are paying for our own wedding!' FH laughed and we all moved on to another topic.
Now... my younger FSIL lives at home. She pays next to nothing in rent. Her mother takes care of her son full time. Puts him on the school bus, buys him school clothes, watches him on school holidays and watches him whenever FSIL gets the urge to go on a solo vacation to the bahamas or wherever (at least once a year). She also watches him when FSIL just wants to go out and party at the local clubs with her friends and dates. They help pay for a lot of her expenses too. How nice of them, right?
Older FSIL just got divorced and her car is going to pot quickly. FFIL tells us to keep our eyes open for a good, reliable car - 4 door sedan - with under 40,000 miles for her. I just found out that they aren't just LOOKING for her - they are BUYING it for her!![]()
Older FBIL has never been married and has been trouble since the day he entered the world. They have bought him cars, given him money, helped pay for everything and anything...
Younger FBIL gets money and expenses from In Laws all the time. FMIL offered to pay for his plane tickets and accomodations to come up for our wedding for him, his gf and his gf's daughter. He still doesn't want to come - but just an example. FFIL is constantly BRAGGING about how well FBIL is doing... ie: 'He just made it through the management training program at Lowe's!'
Now allow me to CONTRAST:
A few years ago FH and I had NOTHING except debt and 2 kids. We only had one car for both of us and when it died we desperately needed another one. We borrowed 5000 from his parents and started paying it back the following week. When our tax returns came back 1 month later, we paid his parents off completely. I should mention that his father HOUNDED Rob every chance he got with 'did your tax returns come in yet? Your mom doesn't want to look for her (brand new) car until we have that money back.' Should I mention that she already had a 2 year old car that was in perfect condition - and that the only problem was that it wasn't fiesta red?
We scrimped and saved every penny. I graduated, FH started his apprenticeship, my best friend GAVE me her old truck so we could have 2 vehicles on the road. Eventually things started to get a little easier. Promotions, pay increases... it started to be simpler for us... but NEVER truly easy when you are saving money for a house and raising two children.
We have 2 sons and I have to leave work early at least 2 times a week to get them off the bus and bring them back to my job because we haven't managed to find a reliable sitter yet. My family and my friends are constantly helping whenever they can - but they all work and/or have kids of their own so it is never a guarantee that I can have someone do something on any given day.
FH's parents are retired and KNOW our dilemma and have never even ONCE asked if they can help us with the kids. NOT EVEN ONCE. They have never offered us so much as a nickel to alleviate any financial stress.
And we are the ONLY ONES who really have any finances to be stressed about! We are the only ones who own a home and have really young kids.
I know I shouldn't be pissed off - but I can't figure out how FH manages to be the one purely independent and responsible person in the whole family - but props, gifts and cash go to everyone else??? His father brags about his other son graduating a management program for LOWE's - but doesn't find it noteworthy that FH managed to save enough to buy a house?
And they want us to come over every Sunday for dinner. I don't get to see my own family every week... but I have to make time to go to their house for dinner so we can hear abouth all the stuff they are doing for everyone else.
Maybe it's the rain.. but I am irritated by this. Am I crazy?
ANYWAY... onto the rant part.
Last week at dinner, FH's parents were talking about how FMIL's brother wasn't paying for his daughter's wedding because he is so cheap. FH asked if they paid for his sisters' weddings. They acknowledged that they did. So FH - wise *** that he is - said 'Well where is our check? Aren't you paying for ours?' FMIL looked like someone punched her and FFIL started to mutter something about not having the money. FH was kidding and I just gave a laugh and said 'He's joking - of course we are paying for our own wedding!' FH laughed and we all moved on to another topic.
Now... my younger FSIL lives at home. She pays next to nothing in rent. Her mother takes care of her son full time. Puts him on the school bus, buys him school clothes, watches him on school holidays and watches him whenever FSIL gets the urge to go on a solo vacation to the bahamas or wherever (at least once a year). She also watches him when FSIL just wants to go out and party at the local clubs with her friends and dates. They help pay for a lot of her expenses too. How nice of them, right?
Older FSIL just got divorced and her car is going to pot quickly. FFIL tells us to keep our eyes open for a good, reliable car - 4 door sedan - with under 40,000 miles for her. I just found out that they aren't just LOOKING for her - they are BUYING it for her!
Older FBIL has never been married and has been trouble since the day he entered the world. They have bought him cars, given him money, helped pay for everything and anything...
Younger FBIL gets money and expenses from In Laws all the time. FMIL offered to pay for his plane tickets and accomodations to come up for our wedding for him, his gf and his gf's daughter. He still doesn't want to come - but just an example. FFIL is constantly BRAGGING about how well FBIL is doing... ie: 'He just made it through the management training program at Lowe's!'
Now allow me to CONTRAST:
A few years ago FH and I had NOTHING except debt and 2 kids. We only had one car for both of us and when it died we desperately needed another one. We borrowed 5000 from his parents and started paying it back the following week. When our tax returns came back 1 month later, we paid his parents off completely. I should mention that his father HOUNDED Rob every chance he got with 'did your tax returns come in yet? Your mom doesn't want to look for her (brand new) car until we have that money back.' Should I mention that she already had a 2 year old car that was in perfect condition - and that the only problem was that it wasn't fiesta red?
We scrimped and saved every penny. I graduated, FH started his apprenticeship, my best friend GAVE me her old truck so we could have 2 vehicles on the road. Eventually things started to get a little easier. Promotions, pay increases... it started to be simpler for us... but NEVER truly easy when you are saving money for a house and raising two children.
We have 2 sons and I have to leave work early at least 2 times a week to get them off the bus and bring them back to my job because we haven't managed to find a reliable sitter yet. My family and my friends are constantly helping whenever they can - but they all work and/or have kids of their own so it is never a guarantee that I can have someone do something on any given day.
FH's parents are retired and KNOW our dilemma and have never even ONCE asked if they can help us with the kids. NOT EVEN ONCE. They have never offered us so much as a nickel to alleviate any financial stress.
And we are the ONLY ONES who really have any finances to be stressed about! We are the only ones who own a home and have really young kids.
I know I shouldn't be pissed off - but I can't figure out how FH manages to be the one purely independent and responsible person in the whole family - but props, gifts and cash go to everyone else??? His father brags about his other son graduating a management program for LOWE's - but doesn't find it noteworthy that FH managed to save enough to buy a house?
And they want us to come over every Sunday for dinner. I don't get to see my own family every week... but I have to make time to go to their house for dinner so we can hear abouth all the stuff they are doing for everyone else.
Maybe it's the rain.. but I am irritated by this. Am I crazy?
