Miss Manners says....
'Things a Bride Need Not Trouble Her Pretty Head About' by Miss Manners....
Some of these are worded funny, so read carefully. Also,
some of these are a little outdated, but the idea is there.
My personal favorite is #6...
Enjoy ladies!!!
1. Do not worry about who is going to give you a shower.
The shower is a lighthearted, nonessential element of an
engagement (as opposed to, say, the fiance, who is
essential and whose heart should be fixed at this point).
In any case, it is voluntary on the part of the bride's
friends. They either throw one or they don't, but she can't
demand one.
2. Do not worry about whether or not you like your
relatives. You have to invite them anyway.
3. Do not worry about how many guests you can invite
and still afford to serve your dream menu. The proper
formula is to count up the relatives and friends first, and
then figure out what you can afford to serve to that
number of people.
4. Do not worry about whether people will give you
wedding presents that you like. These are presents, after
all, not fees paid for the privilege of seeing you get
married. Only if guests ask what you want can you
reluctantly admit to a preference for a certain style or
category (which must include modest things), or to being
registered at stores.
5. Do not worry about finding other ways to recoup some
of the money spent on your wedding from your guests.
You cannot do it.
6. Do not worry about whether the postage stamp on our
invitations carries out the color scheme of your wedding.
Nobody cares.
7. Do not worry, before you send out the invitations,
whether or not the people you invite to your wedding will
be able to get there. That's up to them to decide, once you
send them the invitation. Later on, you can worry when
they don't answer.
8. Do not worry about whether your bridesmaids will
match one another, or whether there are the same
number of them as there are groomsmen. This is not a
parade or a public matchmaking. The idea is to have your
friends around you, regardless of whether or not the
effect is symmetrical. The attempt to form auxiliary
couples for a wedding recessional has driven the
affianced crazy with demands of 'Well, I have to have
Chris, so you've just got to find somebody else.' Not only
is there nothing wrong with having pairs of bridesmaids
march together at the recessional, but no one is watching
by then because their eyes are still misty from sentiment
at the ceremony itself, or because they are looking
around for their gloves now that the wedding is over.
9. Do not worry about whether your mother will match the
bridegroom's mother. They are not a set, either, and can
both be trusted to dress properly for the occasion.
10. Do not worry whether every minute of the wedding day
will be captured on every electronic means available. It
can ruin the occasion, and your friends will not long allow
you to make yourself tedious by showing them pictures
and videos.
11. Do not worry about 'limousine' (there is no polite
word for distinguishing pretentious automobiles from
oridnary ones) privileges, pew seating, or dancing order.
Aside from the general ideas that it is nice for people who
are feeble or who are wearing long delicate dresses to
get rides, that family watches the ceremony from up front,
and that the bridal couple opens the dancing, there are
no persnickety rules doling out the honors.
12. Do not worry about whether you have completed all
your place settings. The stores will still be open after the
wedding. Anyway, a proper bride is too busy writing
thank-you letters in the first few months of marriage to put
everything away.
13. Do not worry about whether the bridegroom is
sufficiently interested in the wedding. He may or may not
be, but this is not indicative of whether or not he loves
you and whether or not he is ambivalent about getting
married. The earliest you would ever need to consult him
about such matters again is a whole generation from
now, and Miss Manners assures you that your daughter
will not be all that interested in whether her father thinks
the wedding cake should be vanilla or chocolate.
Some of these are worded funny, so read carefully. Also,
some of these are a little outdated, but the idea is there.
My personal favorite is #6...
Enjoy ladies!!!
1. Do not worry about who is going to give you a shower.
The shower is a lighthearted, nonessential element of an
engagement (as opposed to, say, the fiance, who is
essential and whose heart should be fixed at this point).
In any case, it is voluntary on the part of the bride's
friends. They either throw one or they don't, but she can't
demand one.
2. Do not worry about whether or not you like your
relatives. You have to invite them anyway.
3. Do not worry about how many guests you can invite
and still afford to serve your dream menu. The proper
formula is to count up the relatives and friends first, and
then figure out what you can afford to serve to that
number of people.
4. Do not worry about whether people will give you
wedding presents that you like. These are presents, after
all, not fees paid for the privilege of seeing you get
married. Only if guests ask what you want can you
reluctantly admit to a preference for a certain style or
category (which must include modest things), or to being
registered at stores.
5. Do not worry about finding other ways to recoup some
of the money spent on your wedding from your guests.
You cannot do it.
6. Do not worry about whether the postage stamp on our
invitations carries out the color scheme of your wedding.
Nobody cares.
7. Do not worry, before you send out the invitations,
whether or not the people you invite to your wedding will
be able to get there. That's up to them to decide, once you
send them the invitation. Later on, you can worry when
they don't answer.
8. Do not worry about whether your bridesmaids will
match one another, or whether there are the same
number of them as there are groomsmen. This is not a
parade or a public matchmaking. The idea is to have your
friends around you, regardless of whether or not the
effect is symmetrical. The attempt to form auxiliary
couples for a wedding recessional has driven the
affianced crazy with demands of 'Well, I have to have
Chris, so you've just got to find somebody else.' Not only
is there nothing wrong with having pairs of bridesmaids
march together at the recessional, but no one is watching
by then because their eyes are still misty from sentiment
at the ceremony itself, or because they are looking
around for their gloves now that the wedding is over.
9. Do not worry about whether your mother will match the
bridegroom's mother. They are not a set, either, and can
both be trusted to dress properly for the occasion.
10. Do not worry whether every minute of the wedding day
will be captured on every electronic means available. It
can ruin the occasion, and your friends will not long allow
you to make yourself tedious by showing them pictures
and videos.
11. Do not worry about 'limousine' (there is no polite
word for distinguishing pretentious automobiles from
oridnary ones) privileges, pew seating, or dancing order.
Aside from the general ideas that it is nice for people who
are feeble or who are wearing long delicate dresses to
get rides, that family watches the ceremony from up front,
and that the bridal couple opens the dancing, there are
no persnickety rules doling out the honors.
12. Do not worry about whether you have completed all
your place settings. The stores will still be open after the
wedding. Anyway, a proper bride is too busy writing
thank-you letters in the first few months of marriage to put
everything away.
13. Do not worry about whether the bridegroom is
sufficiently interested in the wedding. He may or may not
be, but this is not indicative of whether or not he loves
you and whether or not he is ambivalent about getting
married. The earliest you would ever need to consult him
about such matters again is a whole generation from
now, and Miss Manners assures you that your daughter
will not be all that interested in whether her father thinks
the wedding cake should be vanilla or chocolate.
