So for months every opportunity that she has had a chance to bring up the fact that she had no money, and throw it in my face she has. Even on the first day we all went to try on dresses she got in a screaming match with me cause she set up a job interview on that day for a second job that she needed to get, so that she could save money for MY WEDDING. Then my fiances groomsman decided to take him away for the night as a pre bachelor party to go fishing. She did not want me to feel left out. So she tried to arrange the girls to take me out, she called me at work to tell me that my girls were being bi#$$# and she was not looking forward to planning the bachlorette party cause she was going to have issues. Meanwhile all my girls have been great to me, and to one another as far as i could see. I told her to let it go its not like they had to participate and i would help her if she had problems in the future. She has thrown it in my face that when she was having her wedding which by the way she cancelled, that she asked me to come and i said no. At that point we had not spoken in like 4 years and had not reconciled the friendship till nearly 2 years after she invited me. Needless to say we got into an argument over the weekend which culminated into her texting me that she was done, and she backed out. All my girls have been really supportive and some are relieved. I just really needed to get this off my chest cause I am a combination of many different emotion. I know its for the best, and i am happy this happened sooner rather then later.
Question for you ladies i had an even amount of people on both sides. I have about 6 months left till wedding would you attempt to replace her, or just leave as is. PLease keep in mind that i do have a fabulous Matron of honor so im not really in a bind.
MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
I'm sorry to hear that! But it sounds like you're all much better off. I wouldn't replace her at this point. If it was me, I'd feel like just that - a replacement, not somebody you really wanted to include. It doesn't have to be even on both sides and you said you've got another great MOH, so no need to get someone else really!
MsA2MrsA
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
Leave it be. You don't want someone to feel as if they are the replacement. Just be happy you don't have to hear her crap anymore
dariamarie2
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
I'm sorry to hear that you're dealing with this. I honestly wouldn't replace her. I agree with both girls above me, they would feel like a replacement and not someone you originally wanted in your wedding.
Soon2bMrsEhrhart
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Re: MOH backed out, need to vent!!!
Thanks, and yeah that's what i was thinking. I had treid to give her an opportunity to back out a couple of times since she kept talking about the money, and she kept saying no that it was fine. I had 8 girls so that they would not be financially burdened, and I got fairly cheap dresses. Told them that they could do there hair makeup and nails however they wanted. I told them to get silver shoes, but i didnt care from where or what style. I am very far from a bridezilla. I am very sorry it ended like this, but i am very lucky to have a great support system in my friends, and family, and on this board.
MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
Ugh Cheryl that sucks!! Ive seen this sort of stuff many times before. I dont understand why people always guilt the bride about costs! Especially when most BMs know about the wedding for months and months :( Dont stress dear! I have an uneven number of bridesmaids and groomsmen, i think you're fine without replacing your MOH. Hopefully without a negative nancy, it'll be all smiles and fun from here on out!
Soon2bMrsEhrhart
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
Caity thank you so much hon, and I hope all is going well on your end
cets1290
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
Since you still have time, if you have another friend that you think highly enough to want her to stand by your side as your bridesmaid, i don't see a problem in asking her. She would still have time to order her dress and everything.
if you decide not to ask anyone, then you just pair two girls to one guy and it'll be fine :)
Gambigoo
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
I wouldn't replace her at all. I started off with 4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids. Unfortunately my best friend passed away in July from an advanced cancer. Now I have two bridesmaids. I know its a different circumstance but I wouldn't think of replacing her. PLUS my fiancé asked another buddy so now I have 5 groomsmen! Lol. Not sure how we are going to handle the walking down the aisle stuff but none of that really matters. What matters is that you have the people who care about you and are important in your life beside you. Unfortunately, she's not one of those people.
Soon2bMrsEhrhart
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Re: MOH backed out, need to vent!!!
Posted by Gambigoo
I wouldn't replace her at all. I started off with 4 groomsmen and 3 bridesmaids. Unfortunately my best friend passed away in July from an advanced cancer. Now I have two bridesmaids. I know its a different circumstance but I wouldn't think of replacing her. PLUS my fiancé asked another buddy so now I have 5 groomsmen! Lol. Not sure how we are going to handle the walking down the aisle stuff but none of that really matters. What matters is that you have the people who care about you and are important in your life beside you. Unfortunately, she's not one of those people.
I am so sorry to hear about you're friend that is awful. Thank you for your advice I appreciate your opinion.
Soon2bMrsEhrhart
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
How do you think I should handle if she contacts me when she realizes that she is unable to return her dress?
Gambigoo
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
Do you plan on inviting her as a guest? Maybe she can get a store credit and buy a different dress to wear to the wedding. If not, tell her its not your problem! It really isn't. She's the bow who dropped out so that's a consequence she has to pay.
Soon2bMrsEhrhart
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Re: MOH backed out, need to vent!!!
Posted by Gambigoo
Do you plan on inviting her as a guest? Maybe she can get a store credit and buy a different dress to wear to the wedding. If not, tell her its not your problem! It really isn't. She's the bow who dropped out so that's a consequence she has to pay.
Will not be inviting her, and as far as I'm concerned there will be no reconciliation of our friendship. I didn't think that it was on me, guess I just needed to hear it from someone else so thank you ;)
MrsDtoBe
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
I would definitely consider myself lucky that she backed out now. Better that she does it herself than you getting to the point that YOU have to tell her she's out as the time gets closer. She seems like a nightmare and I'd rather not have a MOH at all than deal with that. Don't stress about having an uneven amount of people, I would just leave it.
flynn14
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!!
I'm so sorry to hear this. I had a bridesmaid drop out and I was worried too about the uneven numbers. Now I have 2 girls and fh has 3 guys. But I didn't want to ask anyone else so I didn't. We are actually going to have the Gus at the alter already and just the BM walk down the aisle. And then fr announcements since its so small we will be announcing all guys together acknowledging best man and all girls together acknowledging maid of honor
Percz2418
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Re: MOH backed out, need to vent!!!
Posted by MrsDtoBe
I would definitely consider myself lucky that she backed out now. Better that she does it herself than you getting to the point that YOU have to tell her she's out as the time gets closer. She seems like a nightmare and I'd rather not have a MOH at all than deal with that. Don't stress about having an uneven amount of people, I would just leave it.
Perfectly stated! We are having one more BM than GM. At first I freaked, but who cares! Your bridal party is meant to be the most supportive people in your lives who you want standing next to you on your wedding day. If that ends up being an in even amount oh well!
Sarahg9
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MOH backed out, need to vent!!! - Long Island Weddings
sorry to hear about your MOH dropping out but it's your day and nobody should complain to you about helping you with it! it's probably for the better and you should just focus on the great time you will have
