MOH drama

Jna2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:22 PM

MOH drama

So there was such drama concerning my MOH, who was supposed to be my sister.

EXCEPT we dont get a long at all, she really doesnt care about my plans for my wedding, and she doesnt want to spend a dime.

We got into an argument last night and this issue came up. I'd much rather have one of my friends be my MOH who actually WANT to be a part of my wedding. But I feel like if I do this, it will just start gossip and crap within my family, and maybe i'll regreat it one day down the line.

HELP, any advice??

lori7570 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:26 PM

Re: MOH drama

This is a tough one. My friends MOH was her sister and the situation was similar to yours. What she did was have a 'honorary' MOH, which was her best friend and BM. Her sister didn't know about this, but the other person was her go to person for everything. Sometimes you 'have' to do something because of formality, but it's the people who you turn to the most and are there for you that are important, whether they have the title or not.

mzmahagony Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:28 PM

Re: MOH drama

I feel your pain, I have a similar issue. I am not close with my younger siblings but I put them in the wedding because I didn't want any friction within my family. I have two of my FH sisters in it also so I know that would have been a huge issue. Maybe you can have two MOHs, If you feel the need to have your sister in the wedding you can leave her there but let one of your best friends be your MOH also. That way you will have someone who really cares about you to be by your side. My FH has three bestmen. He didnt want to chose and there is no rule that says that you can't have more than one MOH.

mosh424 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:29 PM

Re: MOH drama

IMO I would sit her down and talk to her and explain how her not taking any interest in your wedding is really hurting you and stuff. If she seems un-effected by what you have to say then I would ask her to step down to BM because you need someone that is going to be there for you and be able to help you when it is needed. Also maybe talk to your parents about it too and explain the same thing to them and see if they have an clue to why she is being like this.

Remember it is your wedding and you need to be happy and stress-free as much as possible during this planning period. You don't need this added stress!!!

HTH

Jna2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:35 PM

Re: MOH drama

I've talked to her before and it's USELESS!!

I think I'll just end up with 2 MOH's like you girls suggested, this way everybody's happy!!

I feel like that's the only way i can avoid more drama and still have someone there for me!

Thanks for the advice girls!

grkbarbie Posted: Jan 04, 2009 12:51 PM

Re: MOH drama

have ur sis as a koumbara

and ur friend as a moh??

i duno is that makes sense.

Jna2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 01:01 PM

Re: MOH drama

Posted by grkbarbie

have ur sis as a koumbara

and ur friend as a moh??

i duno is that makes sense.

That would work except we've already asked a couple to be our koumbari. Thanks though!

JenBill61210 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 01:34 PM

Re: MOH drama

i would just have 2 MOH's

SummerBride10 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 01:40 PM

Re: MOH drama

I think your best bet would be to have two MOHs.

GinaMike24 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 01:50 PM

Re: MOH drama

Aww, I am sorry to hear that! My friend is in the same situation. She is still having her as a maid of honor though. She is probably going to have a friend as a maid of honor too.

MrsC2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 01:55 PM

Re: MOH drama

im sorry to hear about the drama...i hope everything works out!

mbscheer Posted: Jan 04, 2009 03:16 PM

Re: MOH drama

I have the same problem so my sister is my maid of honor and my best friend is my matron of honor. It upset my sister but at this point I had to do what was best for me.

FallBride2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 04:00 PM

Re: MOH drama

I think you should do what makes you most happy. If she's causing drama and not happy about being in the wedding...then give her the option to drop out. That way she can make the decision...and maybe stop the drama if you give her the ultimatum

Jna2010 Posted: Jan 04, 2009 04:01 PM

Re: MOH drama

thanks for the advice girls!! Hopefully everything will work out! if not, oh well! lol cant make everyone happy!

GonnaBeeMrsG Posted: Jan 04, 2009 04:14 PM

Re: MOH drama

Posted by mzmahagony

I feel your pain, I have a similar issue. I am not close with my younger siblings but I put them in the wedding because I didn't want any friction within my family. I have two of my FH sisters in it also so I know that would have been a huge issue. Maybe you can have two MOHs, If you feel the need to have your sister in the wedding you can leave her there but let one of your best friends be your MOH also. That way you will have someone who really cares about you to be by your side. My FH has three bestmen. He didnt want to chose and there is no rule that says that you can't have more than one MOH.

I agree maybe have 2 MOH. Thats what I am doing since I am close with both of my sisters.
These days you can do whatever YOU want!

CloudNine Posted: Jan 04, 2009 04:17 PM

Re: MOH drama

i agree with the 2 MOH idea. that way you dont disrupt the family AND you have what you really want. who knows, maybe your sister will surprise you and pull through and you'll have 2 great MOH's

trophywife Posted: Jan 04, 2009 06:34 PM

Re: MOH drama

Did you already ask your sister to be your MOH? If not, I don't see the big deal in having one of your best friends instead.

My sister-in-law had her best friend as her MOH, not her sister. It wasn't an issue at all - they are not that close and no one in the family had anything to say about it.

If you've already asked your sister, though, I don't think you can take it back.