MOH duties

My MOH is getting married this Feb and I am her MOH....I am trying to get all of her girls on the same page with a gift for the shower, invites, favors, and some other little things and two of them already said that they can not chip in any money!!!!

..... I understand that everyone has financial stresses now a days but I wasn't asking them to chip in much but I am going to wind up putting so much of the money in... if I don't she isn't going to have ANYTHING!! Her mom is graciously paying for the food and place (thank goodness because I don't know what I would have done otherwise) but come on!!!

And then do I put the names of the girls who didn't chip in for the gift on the gift??? I just feel bad for her.....but I can't afford to do my share plus the share of 2 other girls!!! You have to know that accepting to be in someones wedding is going to cost you...if you can't do it then don't say yes and put everyone else in a bad situation!

I hate being a MOH!!!

maybe they need to be reminded that if they couldnt fulfill the duties of being in a bridal party they shouldnt have accepted it!

firm but not nasty! tell them they can give you money in installments????

thats really messed up...they really shouldn't have said yes to be in her bridal party if they cant help pitch in

i would def not put their names on the gift!

i wouldn't put their names on a gift they didn't even get or give to her

I reeealy hope that all works out. Some girls dont understand how alot of things are supposed to work out while being in the BP. I know the first wedding that I was in I was totally clueless...thank god the MOH kept brinign me up to speed. lol

I hope that my MOHs don't start to feel like this closer to my wedding. I know my sister will be blunt..so that's ok...my my friend just thinks that the bride should get SPOILED! A bit too much for me! Like, when we were dress shopping so was going to buy a dress that she didn't even like b/c she THOUGHT I liked it...geez...that's just too nice. LOL.

I would tell the BMs that you are one person and trying the best you can, but you will need help. Def remind them that they have said yes to be in the party, and that certain things come along with that 'yes'. Also, do NOT put their names on the gift...NO WAY!

Again, I hope that all works out!!

Thanks girls I feel a lot better....I was just in shock that she said she already got a gift for her to save money.... it just blows my mind. If that were me and I got her a gift already and then got the email about the run down for what the BP is doing I would have just returned it and went along with what everyone else is doing.

And it isn't even a lot that I am asking everyone to chip in.... BUT THANKS GIRLS!!!!!!

THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENED TO ME!!! It was my best friends wedding 5yrs ago and I was her MOH. I know its frustrating and you think how could they??? But ya know what forget about them! Your doing this for your best friend no one else. I would only include the girls names that contributed to the gift - thats what i did. And during the shower when your friend is opening her gifts have those 2 BMs be in charge of the garbage of the wrapping paper!!! Thats what I did We had a great party and I went about it with my head high, gloated all over my bestfriend/the bride to be and giggled full of the happiness all day. Screw those B****S!!!

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Posted by little34

My MOH is getting married this Feb and I am her MOH....I am trying to get all of her girls on the same page with a gift for the shower, invites, favors, and some other little things and two of them already said that they can not chip in any money!!!!

..... I understand that everyone has financial stresses now a days but I wasn't asking them to chip in much but I am going to wind up putting so much of the money in... if I don't she isn't going to have ANYTHING!! Her mom is graciously paying for the food and place (thank goodness because I don't know what I would have done otherwise) but come on!!!

And then do I put the names of the girls who didn't chip in for the gift on the gift??? I just feel bad for her.....but I can't afford to do my share plus the share of 2 other girls!!! You have to know that accepting to be in someones wedding is going to cost you...if you can't do it then don't say yes and put everyone else in a bad situation!

I hate being a MOH!!!

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As someone who has been a BM 8 times, I want to give you the perspective from the other side of the coin...

As a BM, I always felt RESENTFUL when I was asked to pitch in money to buy a gift. I always wanted to get a gift on my own that meant something special between the bride and myself--not to be lumped in with the rest of the bridal party. ALSO, what you think might not be 'a lot' of money might prove to be a lot to someone else or maybe even too little.

I totally feel for you BUT you can't and shouldn't control everyone else. A wedding should be a happy occassion, not a stressful one. The minute you have pre-planned notions in your mind involving other people is when you get the most headaches. I say, just buy her something FROM YOU that is special and let the other girls fend for themselves--that's it.

As someone who has been a BM 8 times, I want to give you the perspective from the other side of the coin...

As a BM, I always felt RESENTFUL when I was asked to pitch in money to buy a gift. I always wanted to get a gift on my own that meant something special between the bride and myself--not to be lumped in with the rest of the bridal party. ALSO, what you think might not be 'a lot' of money might prove to be a lot to someone else or maybe even too little.

I totally feel for you BUT you can't and shouldn't control everyone else. A wedding should be a happy occassion, not a stressful one. The minute you have pre-planned notions in your mind involving other people is when you get the most headaches. I say, just buy her something FROM YOU that is special and let the other girls fend for themselves--that's it.

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I get you and I have been a BMs a ton of times and to make things easy for everyone I went with the flow. I understand that what is a little to me may be a lot to someone else but the range of money I asked for was a big range to accomodate everyone.

My point, and the reason I am so frustrated is the BP is suppose to pay for and throw he shower, luckily her mom is, but as BMs you have to expect helping out in some way for the shower and if you can not financially do so then, in my opinion, you shouldn't say yes.

I had to turn down a friends offer to be in her wedding because I knew there was no way I would be able to pay for everything.

But I understand the other perspective and appreciate you shedding light on the other side...I just want to try to give her everything she wants and it just frustrated me.