MOH help....idk what to do

ddnsp618 Posted: Jan 01, 2009 03:57 PM

MOH help....idk what to do

so ive been friends with my MOH for about 15 years, and it was kinda assumed that she would be my MOH...so when we got engaged, i asked her and my sister to be MOHs....around the same time, she started seeing this (IMO) loser. well they are still together and as a result our friendship has grown apart...we still text 4 or 5 days a week, but we went almost 4 months without seeing or speaking to each other in person, and everytime i ask her to go out she says no...she isnt involved in planning and i asked her a few weeks ago if she wanted to come to RK bridal with me and super-BM (whole other story) and she said she couldnt afford to go into the city, so i said i would drive and she was like well let me know...so i texted her saturday (we were going on sunday) and she didnt even write me back. money is a big issue for her and being MOH she will have lots of expenses. i told her recently that if she wanted to step down due to money then i wouldnt mind, and she said no.

i think that it will only continue to get worse, and im concerned...should i ask her to be out of my wedding? i just feel that eventually we wont be friends anymore, and it would save us both the aggrivation of having her drop out closer to the wedding....and if i do kick her out, is it totally inappropriate to email her explaining my feelings...i am very non confrontational and would rather do this not face to face....i dont know, im so sick over this...

megsher Posted: Jan 01, 2009 03:59 PM

Re: MOH help....idk what to do

I don't know what you should do, all I know is I do think your wedding party should be your closest friends. They are forever in all your pictures, and in the MOH's case, her name is on your marriage license.

Ella and Ben Posted: Jan 01, 2009 04:05 PM

Re: MOH help....idk what to do

this is a hard thing but I'm going thru stuff with my bridal party as well. If you really think she may back out closer to the day and that your friendship isn't going to last the long haul, then maybe you should save yourself the stress later by asking her to step down. It's not an easy thing to decide what to do so really think about it and have another convo with her about some of your feelings and concerns.

azailia Posted: Jan 01, 2009 08:05 PM

Re: MOH help....idk what to do

that happened to me... luckily it was before i got engaged.. but it is sad she isnt a part of my wedding.

she has married tthe loser and they have a baby.

Deeglasser Posted: Jan 01, 2009 08:45 PM

Re: MOH help....idk what to do

i'm so pissed b/c i wrote this long, heart-felt reply and i got logged out and lost it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i would talk to her and be totally, boldly, honest with her. think about your reasons for wanting to continue your friendship and tell her all of it. your conversation should start off positively- tell her all of the reasons why you miss her and your reasons for asking her to be your MOH. if your friendship is worth it to you, you should give her a second chance...
if you decide to 'kick' her out this is a very hurtful thing to do... i have been 'kicked' out of a BP (v v v long story- bridezilla was such a B*TCH) and the bride actually thought i would continue to be her friend and come to her wedding- she was wrong. also, i demanded my money back for the dress i bought to be in her BP- i mailed her the bill!!! she gave the $200 back to me kicking and screaming. something to think about... if you 'kick' her out, i would do it with the assumption that your friendship is over.