MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

MrsBtobe2009 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 08:34 AM

MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

I have this friend of mine who has been my best friend since I am in 6th grade. He has always been there for me through everything. We are still very very close and after all my drama with my MOH I wanted him to stand at the altar as my 'Man of Honor.' FH told me absolutely not because we are getting married in a catholic church and he is gay. My thoughts are who cares??? He was already going to do a reading because I wanted him involved somehow, but I would much rather him do this. What are your honest thoughts please!!!!!

Should I not do this because of the church thing or should I say F it, it is my day and I can do whatever I want.

jen919ifer Posted: Dec 06, 2008 08:58 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

God loves all gay or not, do it !

Jennmolloy Posted: Dec 06, 2008 09:04 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

I would say go for it if the church is the reason FH is saying no. Just don't upset FH it is his day too.

MLAngelo Posted: Dec 06, 2008 09:18 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

Posted by Jennmolloy

I would say go for it if the church is the reason FH is saying no. Just don't upset FH it is his day too.

I agree, the church might be his excuse. Have a man of honor may just be something he doesn't want.

doreen82 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 09:25 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

my best friend whom i known since i was born lol and alsos my neighbor is gay and I wanted him to be a part of my wedding as well. If my FH wasnt close to him I would of had him on my side. haha
FH asked him to be a groomsman and I was even going to consider asking him to do a reading as well.

So I say its fine. Its your day do what ever you want. As long as your FH is okay with it as well

Good luck. Let me know what you decide.

xoxo

Brat23 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 09:30 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

I see nothing wrong with it JMO

PoppedInASnap Posted: Dec 06, 2008 10:53 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

The priest does not have to know about him being gay. It is none of his business. If this person hasbeen there for u and has stood by you then that is a perfect oppertunity to let him be where he belongs....standing in for your MOH :)

Utterhappiness Posted: Dec 06, 2008 11:04 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

I say do it!! YOur bridal p arty is for the people who mean the most to you in your life! They should be up there standing by yourside! Do it Do it Do it!!

missjones2007 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 11:08 AM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

If FH didnt want that to be allowed then i wouldnt do it becuase i need to resepct his opinion as well....but its nice that you incorporated him in the wedding anyway

WishfulRinne Posted: Dec 06, 2008 12:08 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

IMO Do what you want. The church is not going to ask your friend sexual preferance. If you want him to be there for you do it!!

geegee827 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 12:51 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

The church won't ask if he's gay or straight. However, I know one of my gay friends told me that he wouldn't do a reading at my wedding, not because he doesn't love me and FH, but because he cannot support a church that doesn't accept him!

So, I would check with FH, make sure he's ok with your asking him, and then ask your friend to be your Man of Honor! However, if he chooses to decline, please accept his wishes.

JennyAPH Posted: Dec 06, 2008 01:00 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

IMO you want the people you are closest with by your side the day of your wedding. Gay or straight who cares!?! I wouldn't worry about not doing it becuase of the church...even if you were getting married by the pope himself that is still your best friend and who you choose to be your Man of honor and to be by your side. I say do it!!

FutureMrsC614 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 01:25 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

do it!!! All that matters is what is important to you! I have3 gay bestfriends and I would totally do it if I wanted to, but they prefer not to. All that matters is that the people you love are standing by your side, male or female!

NikkiR515 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 01:43 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

Posted by gporka23

IMO you want the people you are closest with by your side the day of your wedding. Gay or straight who cares!?! I wouldn't worry about not doing it becuase of the church...even if you were getting married by the pope himself that is still your best friend and who you choose to be your Man of honor and to be by your side. I say do it!!

ITA!

dazey Posted: Dec 06, 2008 01:59 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

do what YOU want. i have a man of honor too, i'm not getting married in a church but if we were i still would have him as my man of honor.

jennaandguy09 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 02:11 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

To be perfectly honest, you should do what id going to make you most happy, and if that means having this person stand up for you on your wedding day, then by all means do it, your priest isn't going to ask you the sexual orientation of your honor attendant, I think it would make him feel special and ultimately if he's your closest friend, you should definitely do it!!

bri424 Posted: Dec 06, 2008 02:12 PM

Re: MOH HELP....NEED YOUR HONEST OPINIONS

I have a man of honor. He is my gay best friend. I'm getting married at the reception hall but he would be my man of honor no matter where my fh and I were having the ceremony.

Like everyone else said, the church isn't going to ask you what his sexual preference is. For all they know it could be your brother. So, I wouldn't worry about that issue unless your man of honor has his own issue with being a part of a ceremony in an anti-gay environment. Also, your church might not even care if they DID know his orientation. Many modern churches do accept gay people even into their congregation. Do you know for sure your churches stance on the issue?

I think you need to figure out the true root of your fh's concern. Is he personally against this or is he just worried what others might think- i.e. the church, his family, maybe even his friends. There's a big difference.

I know our situations are different b/c you're getting married in a church and my man of honor had the #1 spot from the beginning- but I think I can offer at least some valid advice.

How well does your fh know your friend? My fh never knew a gay guy in his life (or at least one that was out of the closet!) until we started dating. Now they are actual friends and even hung out alone a few times when I worked late. All it took was for my fh to see that my friend was really cool and NOT trying to hit on him or anything stupid that a lot of guys think- I mean ugh my fh isn't even his type haha. A lot of hetero guys have this silly idea that gay guys are prancing around singing streisand and visualizing them naked. Maybe you should have the two of them get to know one another better (if they don't already- your post didn't really say).

Whenever someone questions my choice I just tell them how it is. I have girlfriends and they are my bridesmaids along with fh's two sisters BUT my closest friend is a guy, so he will be the one standing by my side. Period.

So, I suggest you find out more about why your fh is against it and also find out more about your church's stance on gays.