MOH issues

So my MOH is my best friend since we where 13 years old. I could not afford a Coordinator, I am in law school (thus ridiculously busy) and she is generally great at planning parties as well as she has generally good taste, I asked her to help and she was all for it.

In the first months of planning she was very nice, she sent me constant emails, would call me, send me ideas, research for me, etc. After all its my wedding, so if I didnt like an idea I would pass on it and move to the next one.

It seems though that she was not to happy that I dont want to do everything the way she wants me to do it, because in the last few weeks she has stopped calling me. I've called her, and every time I bring up the wedding or ask her questions about what she thinks of something, for example the favors I chose, she answers me in a very snappy way.
Although there are still many things to get done for my wedding, I have opted to do the following:

Because this is her personality and I dont want to loose a friendship over wedding planning I have now opted not to call her. I will continue to buy my favors, go wedding gown shopping and bridesmaid dress shopping with the other bridesmaids.
I need to start working on my decor and will begin to shop around for it on my own. I will give her a call a month from now if she has not called me to see how she is doing.

But anyhow, I really wanted her to be a part of all of this, we had a falling out last year and though this would bring us closer, but it seems like the opposite.
I need advice...what would you do?
Thanks

You really should just talk to her about it. Let her know that you appreciate her help but think you can handle it from here. Try to keep her involved in the dress thing tho. A wedding is a very stressful thing to plan, even if it is your friend. She is probably working hard trying to find things you like. Of course your not going to like every idea, but she might still feel a bit of a sting because she put all of this work in.

Also, if you don't tell her that you are going to go ahead with a few things, what if she spends even more time researching things for you.

Communication is the best avenue here IMHO, I hope it works out for you both

Well I think its one thing to talk about things with her and share your ideas with her. But for her to plan alot of it will become a sticky situation. For one maybe at the moment she is busy with her own things. I think its best to just leave at asking for her opinions and just talking to her about stuff rather than her planning most of the stuff. It can cause problems bc if she keeps picking things you don't like and she is doing all this work, doing research and getting things for you and takes the time out of her day to do it and you dont go with things she is picking she is just going to say 'ok forget it'

Seems like although she is great at planning parties, you two have different ideas for a wedding and its your wedding so go with what you like.

I also dont think its a good idea to ignore her and do things with your bm's and leave her out. This will just make the situation worst.

Sorry you are dealing with this, but I don't think that ignoring her is the best way to handle this. I think you should try to speak to her about this entire situation. Be sure to let her know that you appreciate all her help throughout the process. Hopefully you can save your friendship and have a pleasant planning experience.

Perhaps I will follow both of your advice.
I will talk to her and nicely tell her that I understand that lately she has been very busy, and then call her up when we are going to go out to look for things, I will call her once in a while to run ideas by her and keep it civil.

Also she didnt do all the work, we both did, we looked for center pieces together online (but had different views).

Thanks for the advice...

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Posted by kat124

Perhaps I will follow both of your advice.
I will talk to her and nicely tell her that I understand that lately she has been very busy, and then call her up when we are going to go out to look for things, I will call her once in a while to run ideas by her and keep it civil.

Also she didnt do all the work, we both did, we looked for center pieces together online (but had different views).

Thanks for the advice...

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I would even call her at first to just ask how she is doing and ask her about what is going on in her life. Instead of saying ok im sorry and lets go look for things. To us our weddings are the most important thing now but everyone else they have their own things going on. They have their own problems maybe, and as friends her problems should be discussed to and also things going on in her life. Don't make the only communication you two have now just about the wedding.

I know its fun to help plan with your friend but maybe do alot of things with FH or your mother and then just tell her about what you are doing.

There is no reason why you two should have different views about your cp's and effect your friendship bc of that...Its YOUR cp so make that decision and go with what you like and then after you pick it you can call her up and say Oooo i picked them out wanna see

Agree with the above about approaching MOH as a friend, talking about your relationship, and keeping your wedding's place in your friend's life in perspective.

I would definitely talk to her and see what is going on.

But I will say that on a regular basis i would not have had a friend, especially a close one be my 'planner' only b/c feelings do get hurt. its not your friends fault but its the nature of the beast.

Good Luck

I would call her and discuss it because she is your best friend.

IMO i think you have to also make a point to not make everything about the wedding. call to see how she is, what's going on. all the things you did before the wedding, continue it during the planning process.

also, maybe do something nice for her to show your appreciation. maybe she's just upset everything is wedding related and she's not appreciated.