moh trouble

jbella13 Posted: May 05, 2003 11:17 PM

moh trouble

My moh is a complete bi@#$. She tHInks I don't know she's been bad mouthing me to people. I hate her! She has done nothing to help me for my wedding, It's 1 MONTH from tomorrow, should I tell her that I don't want her in it anymore, I don't even want her as a friend anymore, I've posted before about her, but I'm really mad and don't want her to be any part of it anymore. what do I do

Sunny Posted: May 05, 2003 11:19 PM

Re: moh trouble

What happened?

julybride444 Posted: May 06, 2003 08:30 AM

Re: moh trouble

How long have you been friends and what made you pick her as MOH? What happened?

dubliner Posted: May 06, 2003 08:31 AM

Re: moh trouble

Be careful want you say when you're angry....try to calm down a little and vent to us before you make a rash decision. There must be some reason you asked her to be MOH

SeptemberBride03 Posted: May 06, 2003 09:09 AM

Re: moh trouble

I agree with Dubliner, if you ask her not to participate in the wedding you'll probably end your friendship. Think about it first. That may be the best solution, but don't make a quick decision. Try talking to her first.

jbella13 Posted: May 06, 2003 09:43 AM

Re: moh trouble

I asked her because we used to be friends, but she never seems interested. When I went for my dress it was like pulling teeth to get her to come with me. And then she was the last one go get her fitting for the dresses. I had my shower last week and she sat in the corner, I didn't even talk to her. She didn't help with the planning I found out. My friend Lynn has helped me with everything, she is the most busiest person and always finds time for me. My MOH doesn't work she goes to school and thats it, and she's been telling everyone that SHE CAN'T WAIT FOR THIS WEDDING TO BE OVER! she's even said it to me. I really want Lynn to be MOH she deserves it. I haven't asked anyone to help me, I've done everything myself, but when I do ask her just to take a ride with me some where she always says no.

MrsTC Posted: May 06, 2003 10:04 AM

Re: moh trouble

maybe you should confront her in a diplomatic way and say to her 'Look this day is extremely important to me, and if you would rather not be my MOH tell me now.... because I don't want my day ruined by someone who doesn't want to be there'. Your MOH is standing up for you and it doesn't seem like she is willing to 'stand up for you'. But if you don't want to complicate the situation, leave it alone and try to ignore her. Maybe your friend Lynn who always has time to help you SHOULD be your MOH! I have many friends who i have been friends with for years who could have been bridesmaids....but I have 4 BM: MOH is my sister, BM is my cousin, 1 childhood friend, and the other is a friend who i only met 2 yrs ago but is ALWAYS there for me. It's all relative to the situation. But try to ask your MOH why she feels this way and if she doesn't want to do it, tell her not to do you any favors! Good luck

sanmik Posted: May 06, 2003 10:09 AM

Re: moh trouble

I agree with FutureMrsTC - - say it now. Why should you have to worry about that day just because she has issues with her own life. Ask Lynn beforehand, see how she feels about it and then approach her.

kmcwed Posted: May 06, 2003 12:09 PM

Re: moh trouble

You don't need a friend who behaves this way. It's more a drain in your life, than a positive connection. I agree with the other posters, tell her nicely that it has been obvious to you that she is not as excited or happy for you as you had hoped she would be, that she does not seem interested in fulfilling her role as MOH, and if she would rather not be in the BP, to let you know. Be ready for her to throw a fit in her own defense, maybe even point the finger at you in some way. It also may end your friendship, but I would have to be honest with you and tell you it would NOT be any great loss considering her behavior. I've been there.

If she backs out, you can promote one of your BMs to be your MOH. Presto! No more BS or stress. At least then you will know your whole BP is on board and happy for you. Best of luck to you!

jbella13 Posted: May 06, 2003 01:05 PM

Re: moh trouble

thank you all for your input. I actually just talked to Lynn and she told me that I should leave it alone and try to not let it bother me. She knows that I want her to be my MOH but she doesn't want me to have anymore stress and she feels it will only complicate things, she told me she is honored and that she will stand by my decision so I guess maybe I should just let it go and stop worrying about my MOH I do have other things to concentrate on. I don't know I'm so confused

Sunny Posted: May 06, 2003 01:10 PM

Re: moh trouble

Lynn sounds like a great friend- you are lucky to have her

kmcwed Posted: May 06, 2003 01:25 PM

Re: moh trouble

I agree. Lynn is the perfect example of what a REAL friend is like.

If you're okay with it, then maybe it's best to let it ride. But keep in mind, that your MOH may have an attitude on your wedding day. If she sat in the corner at your bridal shower, she just may do the same thing at the wedding. She just doesn't seem like she will ever show you the type of friendship you are looking for.

When we have friends like this we always end up hurt one way or the other. Either because the friendship comes to an end, or because it doesn't end, but their behavior hurts and disappoints us time and time again.

Toxic friends!! Poo! Who needs em?! Right?

Hope you have a wonderful day, and don't let this girl spoil ANYTHING for you.

jbella13 Posted: May 06, 2003 10:48 PM

Re: moh trouble

Thanks girls. I appreciate all the help. Lynn is a great friend. I hope that all of you have a friend like her she is so sweet.

2UNTAMED Posted: May 06, 2003 10:56 PM

Re: moh trouble

Maybe you could have them BOTH be your MOH'S

1. Since you feel Lynn deserves it, why not give her the honor she has already earned w/o expecting anything in return.

2. At least you will know you now have someone who will be supportive and as happy to be sharing your special day.

3. Maybe once the other girl realizes she is not the only MOH she will come around and be more supportive

4. You will not be hurting anyone's feelings, but instead making Lynn and yourself happy and give yourself a piece of mind

Just an idea