For my Bridal party, I decided that I wanted all the girls to wear the same style dress. The only thing that would be different is the bo-k for my MOH. I told my MOH, now, three times that I did not want her to wear a different dress. The first time, she was trying to convince me to allow her to wear something different. I told her how I felt about it and thought she understood. IMO, I feel like it's a bit 80's. I personally just don't want that for my wedding. I thought I made it clear. Then again, we go shopping for dresses and find one that everyone likes except her. So, she again says I can look at something else. I say no. I did, however, compromised with her. I asked her what type of dress is she thinking about. She explains to me. So, I then don't pick the first dress and find something that she totally described as wanting.
Today, she goes to the place to have her measurments taken and calls me. She says I was talking to the sales lady and she even said I should get a different dress. Blood rushes to my brain. Again, I am like I want everyone to wear the same dress. So, she tells me that the sales lady said that she should not wear an off the shoulder dress (that's what we chose) because it will be hard for her to assist me being that she is the MOH.
Am I being unreasonable here? She is the only one giving me a hard time. I don't understand why. She is like the sister I never had. We are childhood friends since we were 5. I am really annoyed by this. What is really p--ing me off is that I feel like she is trying to manipulate me by saying the sales lady even thinks she should get something different. Oh OK.. Let me make decisions based on what a stranger says!!!!
Sorry so long-
RedHead
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Re: MOH Vent-
no you are not being unreasonable...it is your decision and she should just get over it
Happybride2005
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Does she want to stand out more than the others?
What I'm going to do for mine is either of 2 ways....have everyone in the same dress but have the moh wear gloves or have them in the same dress and the moh will be in a different shade. I'll ask her what she prefers.
WinterBride2005
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Posted by Happybride2005
Does she want to stand out more than the others?
What I'm going to do for mine is either of 2 ways....have everyone in the same dress but have the moh wear gloves or have them in the same dress and the moh will be in a different shade. I'll ask her what she prefers.
It seems like she does want to stand out from the others. I think it is silly. It's a small bridal party and I have special bond with each of my girls. She is not the only one. Everyone knows she is the MOH. She will be announced as MOH when we walk in.
dm24angel
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Re: MOH Vent-
Shes being unreasonable...she only has to wear it for a few hours, she is standing out, because she is the MAID OF HONOR...I too wanted and am having all the girls wear the same dress...The bok for MOH will be slightly different though,,
suven
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I had someone try to do something like that...
I just kept saying, 'this is the way that we're going to go with it. Unfortunately, exceptions cannot be made.'
Edited to add pic...please note, there are 3 girls bustling me. They could have removed the shawls, but 2 of them weren't bothered by the shawl at all.
So, now you have proof that your MOH can wear an off the shoulder gown and STILL help you!
I agree--she just might want to feel special and different from the other girls. But I know it would piss me off if I'd specifically said that I wanted all the girls to wear the same dress. I sort of had the same thing with my MOH and I've tried to appease her by letting her have a larger bouquet than the other 2 girls.
WinterBride2005
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Posted by suven
So, now you have proof that your MOH can wear an off the shoulder gown and STILL help you!
- I think if things get ugly, I will pull out this photo.
suven
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Posted by WinterBride2005
Posted by suven
So, now you have proof that your MOH can wear an off the shoulder gown and STILL help you!
- I think if things get ugly, I will pull out this photo.
You go girl! I swear, there were times when I wish I had PROOF that it was, in fact, possible for my bridal party to honor my wishes!!!
prncssrachel
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Re: MOH Vent-
Screw that, I would quit being nice and tell her to deal with it. Cry a little if you have to. Throw the hands up and whine, 'It's MY day! How come no one will let me do what I want to do ?!?!?!' That usually gets people to shut up She sounds ridiculous. I can't even imagine having ANYTHING to say to ANYONE if I were in their bridal party. It's one of those things that you go along with. She needs to get over herself.
WinterBride2005
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Re: MOH Vent-
Posted by 121502
Screw that, I would quit being nice and tell her to deal with it. Cry a little if you have to. Throw the hands up and whine, 'It's MY day! How come no one will let me do what I want to do ?!?!?!' That usually gets people to shut up She sounds ridiculous. I can't even imagine having ANYTHING to say to ANYONE if I were in their bridal party. It's one of those things that you go along with. She needs to get over herself.
YES!!! I once was in wedding and had to wear a hot pink bridal dress. It was horrible!! I didn't say anything about it.. it was her wedding and she loved that color. I wore the damn dress and kept my mouth shut. As soon as I got home, I took the dress off and tossed into the trash. End of story.
Bebalina
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tell her to grow up and respect ur wishes.,..
randella
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I think your friend is making this more about her.. She needs to understand that it is whatever you want and from your post- she seems to be being a royal pain in the a**..
That said, I think you should have a calm, non-confrontational conversation with her and get down to why she is adament about not wearing the same dress..
Does she have a different body type, feel like she won't look good? Does she want to be honored? I think she'll respect the fact that you really want to know what is bothering her.
akanini
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I'm sorry I can't help because I do feel that the MOH should look different. However, it's your day and she should respect your feelings. Just keep letting her know how you feel and she will have to go along with it.
JLP
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Your friend is being rediculous. She should grow up and respect your wishes. Screw what the bridal shop woman said, she was probably just being nice to your whiny friend. She should shut-up or step aside. End of story.
I want my MOH to stand out a little, so I am putting her in the same shape/color dress, with a slight difference in the beads on her bodice.
Good luck!
MrsK-in-June05
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She sounds like she is the unreasonable one. Why does she want to look different? It is your day!! Stand firm! GL!
prncssrachel
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I'm sorry, am I the only one that thinks the distinction is a personal one? You asked her to be your MOH because she's someone special to you. She should feel HONORED that you asked her. You only get one MOH for your life, and you chose her. Remind her of that. THAT is the distinction. SHE is the MOH, not anyone else. This has been irking me since you posted it yesterday. I don't know why.
Wintersbride
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I am with you...I want all of my bridesmaids, including MOH to wear the same dress. Sounds like she just wants attention. She needs to get over it though because it is your wedding and you are going to be the one with all the attention. I say lay down the law...just say 'this is the way I want it'.
sophie78
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Re: MOH Vent-
I like to use the phrase, 'This is non-negotiable.'
